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 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

Posted: 29 May 2011, 7:12 am 

Replies: 2,515
Views: 793,610


So question for NTs: If the other person looks distracted, is the silence still awkward? What I mean is: is it just the other person's attention that makes it an awkward silence? Silence is a lot less awkward if the person clearly has their attention on something, for example their smart phone, or ...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Anti-soulmates

Posted: 28 Jul 2010, 12:41 am 

Replies: 9
Views: 1,748


It seems wisdom can come from many unlikely sources, from Dr.Phil to Chris Rock :wink: Thanks guys. It helps to think that there isn't one single way for relationships to be correct. I think I've been getting closer to achieving this inner stillness that you talk about criss.. I'm just not completel...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Dumped...

Posted: 26 Jul 2010, 10:48 pm 

Replies: 8
Views: 1,760


lotusblossom wrote:
no we all are emotionally thick, Ive not found anything makes a difference to that. You need to find someone more tollerant and more forgiving.

Listen to lotus.
You will just make yourself miserable if you try to 'change'.

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Anti-soulmates

Posted: 26 Jul 2010, 10:41 pm 

Replies: 9
Views: 1,748


I do, on the hard days. Like today. :cry:
Things never seem to go easy with us. It's heavenly for a week and hell for a few days before it gets good again.

At least it's not boring...?

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Anti-soulmates

 Post subject: Anti-soulmates
Posted: 22 Jul 2010, 2:36 am 

Replies: 9
Views: 1,748


This is what my boyfriend said to me the other day. "We aren't soulmates. We are like... anti-soulmates." I do feel that he is right. I try and try to understand him, but the fact is I never completely will because I'm NT. He probably won't completely understand me either. Any other AS/NT couples fe...

 Forum: Women's Discussion   Topic: what are girlfriends?

Posted: 22 Jul 2010, 2:17 am 

Replies: 21
Views: 2,781


I'm NT but I've always had similar girlfriend problems. I'm girly in that I like to dress fashionably and I like to socialize, but I find most girl chatter (endless talk about shoes and purses - some talk is fun but too much just feels dumb, domestic tasks, kids) terribly vacant. I understand that t...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: NT's should explain themselves. (A challenge to NT's)

Posted: 22 Jul 2010, 1:49 am 

Replies: 59
Views: 4,858


Janissy answered everything the way I would've, except for a few. 1. Why do you not have special interests? I do, I just have trouble zoning out for long periods of time the way my AS boyfriend seem to be able to do. I'm quite jealous of this apparent ability. I think it's because ultimately I value...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Why do we show emotion differently?

Posted: 17 Jul 2010, 3:40 pm 

Replies: 28
Views: 5,362


There's some NT hate in this thread.. In a way, I think it's deserved. To explain the NT side of it, The way I see it, as an NT, my brain is wired to do a lot of emotional 'checks'. There's a constant back and forth of "are you ok", "i'm ok", "are you ok", "i'm ok" - it's embedded in every line of c...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Where do people find their bf/gf/friends?

Posted: 12 Jul 2010, 12:08 am 

Replies: 51
Views: 7,637


I met my boyfriend at school.

I met one of my ex boyfriends in a MMO game.
One of my girlfriends also met her boyfriend in a MMO.
I think it's a nice way to meet people if the game has a good community.

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Can hardly handle NTs :(

Posted: 11 Jul 2010, 11:58 pm 

Replies: 6
Views: 1,163


It sounds like he's still interpreting your words from an NT perspective. It is important for him to understand that you are fundamentally different from him. I suggest your boyfriend read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Long-Term-Relationships-Stanford/dp/1843107341/ref=pd_bxgy_b...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Are attractive women usually taken?

Posted: 06 Jul 2010, 10:25 pm 

Replies: 81
Views: 8,085


Homer_Bob wrote:
90% are. Most girls at some point will always mention her boyfriend in a discussion just to annoy you.

They do it because they don't want to mislead you, and want to avoid the uncomfortable situation of having to turn you down.

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: best book for learning about AS in relationships

Posted: 06 Jul 2010, 10:13 pm 

Replies: 6
Views: 1,107


I'd recommend 'Asperger Syndrome and Long Term Relationships' by Ashley Stanford. I second this suggestion. I've found it to be an amazing source of strength and understanding. Another tip that may help, is to designate a time that you sit together and go through your lists. Take the phone out of t...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: How do my emotions differ from neurotypical teens emotions

Posted: 06 Jul 2010, 12:57 am 

Replies: 4
Views: 1,897


I'm not sure of the exact part in Troy you're talking about, but generally, I get those "murky" "deep" and "inexplicable" feelings during movies all the time. Later if I were to tell someone about the movie, I'd simply describe it as "moving", or "emotional". I think the reason that the emotions we ...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: I need some advice

Posted: 05 Jul 2010, 9:47 pm 

Replies: 18
Views: 2,225


I also did something a little bit naughty today. Just a little. I asked her when she was finishing up work. She said '15 minutes'. So I left, walked up to the railway station where she catches the train, went into the adjacent general store, bought an ice tea, hung around, just for an excuse to bum...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Boyfriend in withdrawal - are emails / txts stressful?

Posted: 05 Jul 2010, 9:36 pm 

Replies: 11
Views: 3,012


You guys are awesome! It's so helpful to have people remind me what it's like from his perspective. Thanks so much. I'm pretty sure it frusterates the heck out of my fiance. It frusterates me too because I know what it is and I feel guilty for feeling withdrawn. I know it's temporary, but it really ...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Boyfriend in withdrawal - are emails / txts stressful?

Posted: 05 Jul 2010, 10:54 am 

Replies: 11
Views: 3,012


I'm sorta confused. When I see withdrawl I immediately think chemical. But, do you mean emotional withdrawl? Yea, I mean social withdrawal. I could be using the word wrong. :lol: These days I tend to "publish and be damned," as I think it's usually worth the risk of a bit of embarrassment just to m...
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