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 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: Sometimes I view love as a cover up

Posted: 01 Oct 2019, 4:50 pm 

Replies: 17
Views: 981


Field biology would be awesome, though yeah I imagine the jobs are hard to come by. (And I agree waitressing is nerve-wracking, from the one time I tried it... People in food service don't get nearly enough credit!) Do you feel the DBT class has been helpful? My therapist is recommending that for me...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Living with fear about violence on the streets?

Posted: 01 Oct 2019, 2:14 pm 

Replies: 12
Views: 526


I've had bad experiences before, so I take it seriously too. And I have the same dilemma, in that the few group activities I might enjoy, tend to be held at night (and I don't drive, so it's a long walk in the dark from the bus stop). At the moment, I'm choosing to only get involved in daytime activ...

 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: Sometimes I view love as a cover up

Posted: 01 Oct 2019, 2:05 pm 

Replies: 17
Views: 981


I think you're handling this situation as well as can be expected. The thing about SSI is that people can't just 'choose' to be on it - it's actually very difficult to qualify, and your mother seems to not understand the basic facts here. I hear you about being honest about your abilities in future ...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Do you resent your parents for not getting you assessed asap

Posted: 01 Oct 2019, 11:20 am 

Replies: 26
Views: 692


In her own way, your mother probably thought she was doing the right thing. (But thinking you're doing the right thing, vs. actually doing the right thing, are not always the same.) I think there are 'stages of acceptance' in coming to terms with late diagnosis, similar to the stages of grief. Resen...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Making everything about yourself

Posted: 01 Oct 2019, 11:04 am 

Replies: 10
Views: 325


Thank you, magz - I struggle to understand how I come across to others, and ironically one way in which I 'make everything about myself' is to assume that any character flaw I read about applies me. (Which it might, or might not - it's so hard to know, without asking others for feedback.) The only s...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Making everything about yourself

Posted: 01 Oct 2019, 10:29 am 

Replies: 10
Views: 325


Ah, derailment - I'm totally guilty of that. Not intentional, but something I need to be more aware of. Again, it doesn't bother me when other people's issues supersede mine, but I need to realize it bothers others.

 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: Sometimes I view love as a cover up

Posted: 01 Oct 2019, 9:52 am 

Replies: 17
Views: 981


^ True, 'every family is a little dysfunctional' - like so many issues, it's a sliding scale, not a black-and-white issue. I suppose a scientific measure of functionality would be evidence as to whether the parents succeeded in performing their function: in raising their children to become well-adju...

 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: Sometimes I view love as a cover up

Posted: 01 Oct 2019, 9:09 am 

Replies: 17
Views: 981


I didn't think my family was dysfunctional either - when you grow up in it, you don't know any different, and you assume all families are that way. I found this list to be eye-opening (things I always thought were completely normal!) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysfunctional_family It sounds like ...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Making everything about yourself

Posted: 01 Oct 2019, 7:41 am 

Replies: 10
Views: 325


I've never been told this personally, but have read that it's poor etiquette to 'make everything about yourself', especially when trying to empathize with other people's issues. This baffles me a bit, because I genuinely appreciate hearing other people's experiences, if they've dealt with an issue s...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: One Thing I Absolutely Cannot Seem To Deal With

Posted: 30 Sep 2019, 9:10 am 

Replies: 17
Views: 664


I hear you, and am sensitive to noise as well. (Reminds me of a quote: "You can look away from art, but you can't listen away from music".) I particularly struggle with lyrics promoting sexual violence, due to trauma issues. Are these people avoidable? If they're housemates or neighbors, t...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: I'm so stupid I am

 Post subject: Re: I'm so stupid I am
Posted: 30 Sep 2019, 7:19 am 

Replies: 19
Views: 327


These things happen - I've had mishaps like that in the past, and nowadays will only cross at a designated walk signal (rather than just a crosswalk), because I have trouble judging the speed of oncoming traffic.

Live and learn (and be careful!) I'm glad you're okay :)

 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: Sometimes I view love as a cover up

Posted: 30 Sep 2019, 7:04 am 

Replies: 17
Views: 981


I can relate to a lot of this, and I'm sorry you're dealing with that too. There are good parents, bad parents, and - those who are a bit of both, so it's a confusing mixture of love and pain. Subsidized housing exists to help people who need it. This absolutely includes people with disabilities, wh...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why do toddlers always stare at me?

Posted: 30 Sep 2019, 6:45 am 

Replies: 22
Views: 480


I wonder if it seems weird because as autistic children, we didn't stare? I would notice someone who was extremely unusual, but generally was just off in my own world, not paying attention to people. (And maybe because of my own experience, I equate staring with 'wow you are so different that you ac...

 Forum: Women's Discussion   Topic: Accepting anxiety as a feature of being a woman with ASD

Posted: 30 Sep 2019, 6:27 am 

Replies: 102
Views: 2,531


Thank you to everyone who has contributed to this thread. It has felt connecting to read and feel some commonalities with some of you. Seconded - I really appreciate the perspectives here, on a topic that most of the time we feel we must keep silent about. It helps to understand what others have be...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: "But Everyone Has That?"

Posted: 29 Sep 2019, 10:59 am 

Replies: 8
Views: 270


I don't see it as a black and white issue, but rather a sliding scale, of various traits. (Which, as I understand it, is how psychologists see it as well.) There's a sliding scale of stimming behavior, ranging from common NT habits to extreme ASD stims. Same for introversion, social intelligence, em...

 Forum: Women's Discussion   Topic: Accepting anxiety as a feature of being a woman with ASD

Posted: 29 Sep 2019, 9:17 am 

Replies: 102
Views: 2,531


I found the list thought provoking as well (and it's nice to see you back, B19!) I appreciate hearing other people's experiences with letting go of physical pain and memories - and especially where we perceive these things to reside. For me, childhood memories, pain, tension, and knots reside in my ...
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