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 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have you come back from a "first impression deficit"?

Posted: 05 Jun 2022, 3:09 pm 

Replies: 16
Views: 341


The "getting to know me" is very important. If a person won't do that - it's game over for that relationship. I get friends and jobs and opportunities from people who I see repeatedly and get to know me. This is why classes, contracting and volunteering have led to my employment, b/c (NT)...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Who gets insulted, verbally abused, mocked and ridiculed?

Posted: 05 Jun 2022, 3:01 pm 

Replies: 32
Views: 834


Due to their social deficits and all manner of lack of social skills caused by their Autism? It always happens to me when I am pushed into a situation beyond my limits to cope with, and people just love an easy target that they can put the metaphorical verbal boot into. I caught one couple exchangi...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Who gets insulted, verbally abused, mocked and ridiculed?

Posted: 05 Jun 2022, 2:56 pm 

Replies: 32
Views: 834


I was in exactly the same situation for many years. I got laughed at, bitched about behind my back, excluded from work email lists so that I couldn't do my work, etc... The whole work environment was toxic. Even in normal situations it was difficult for me to talk with people due to anxiety/nervous...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Who gets insulted, verbally abused, mocked and ridiculed?

Posted: 05 Jun 2022, 2:53 pm 

Replies: 32
Views: 834


I suppose you could always do what they call "turning the tables". Their inappropriate laughter and mockery are over a perceived mental illness - yours. You could confront them with "what are you laughing at?" - if they respond "oh - nothing", as they are likely to do, ...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have you come back from a "first impression deficit"?

Posted: 05 Jun 2022, 1:51 pm 

Replies: 16
Views: 341


Have you heard about the "uncanny valley"??? Instincts we have that are subliminal will send messages to us on sub conscious levels... we register things like gender, appearance of health status, involuntary almost immeasurable motions, "unhealthy" body odors and so much more wi...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have you come back from a "first impression deficit"?

Posted: 05 Jun 2022, 1:45 pm 

Replies: 16
Views: 341


I *instinctively* see that use of first impression is so unfair. Yet nobody else seems to agree. Have anyone ever justified WHY they trust first impression so much? Well, heck yeah, they SHOULD! But it's not gonna happen, is it... I'm sure plenty of people trusted their first impression of Ted Bund...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have you come back from a "first impression deficit"?

Posted: 05 Jun 2022, 12:11 pm 

Replies: 16
Views: 341


Wondering if my fellow ASD folk on here have ever come back from "first impression deficit"? Like if someone viscerally had negative feelings towards you on first meeting them, and were somewhat aloof thereafter, but warmed up to you afterwards? Of course, given our lack of nonverbal fluen...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: What reasons you had to initially deny you might be ASD

Posted: 26 May 2022, 7:58 pm 

Replies: 58
Views: 2,018


Back at the turn of the millennium, while going into the second half of my twenties, I realized that I was "odd" but always accepted the "professional's" explanation that I had ADHD combined with social anxiety. I'd never heard about ASD, or Asperger's as it was called then, but ...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Using the line "Have I done something to offend you?"

Posted: 13 May 2022, 7:01 am 

Replies: 5
Views: 312


I don't think I even get that early opportunity. When I notice someone's being passive aggressive, it seems already in an advanced stage even though that person was nice in the previous interaction. I think that that sudden advancement of hostility happens behind my back through gossip etc among pe...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Being good at at most social skills, with ASD.

Posted: 11 May 2022, 8:32 pm 

Replies: 42
Views: 1,065


I thankfully haven't needed to overtly lie to people much because I've mostly been dealing with the status-checking games rather than probing. I do have compartments in my life - some I can share with others, some are easier online (such as here) because there are very few people who will ever meet...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Using the line "Have I done something to offend you?"

Posted: 11 May 2022, 4:51 pm 

Replies: 5
Views: 312


How do you all feel about the use of the line, "Have I done something to offend you?" - like in situations or times when someone seems to be giving you the silent treatment, or monosyllabic or "clipped" responses, or where they say something that sounds indignant/sarcastic (if yo...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 10 May 2022, 11:33 am 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,994


In my teens (and beyond), my intolerant / impatient stepmom would vacillate between "you don't try hard enough" and "you try to hard" when I'd recount some story of social failure and frustration. :x :( Well, I don't want to get into the stereotypical Aspie thought process of bla...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 26 Apr 2022, 6:31 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,994


That sounds like a good question to ask? Are the responses you get useful? Ehh...not really. :( At least they don't get aggressive. They'd typically just mutter some "by now" statement, e.g. "well, you would have gotten the hang of (insert NT-centric activity bias) BY NOW". And ...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 26 Apr 2022, 6:24 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,994


LOL - I get the opposite -- people say I try too hard sometimes. However, I have gotten quite tired and loathsome of the seemingly ageless "You just have to deal with it" "You just have to get in the habit" "You just have to train your brain" I so oft get from a certai...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 26 Apr 2022, 6:19 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,994


If you feel like you have tried, and someone says you haven't, they could simply be messing with you. Yeah, I completely agree with this!! If some streetwise bullies who have acute ToM sense that you're sensitive about your struggles and being invalidated in spite of them, they will lie or exaggera...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 26 Apr 2022, 7:01 am 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,994


LOL - I get the opposite -- people say I try too hard sometimes. However, I have gotten quite tired and loathsome of the seemingly ageless "You just have to deal with it" "You just have to get in the habit" "You just have to train your brain" I so oft get from a certai...
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