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 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Has anyone given you constructive criticism?

Posted: 25 Apr 2022, 5:49 pm 

Replies: 25
Views: 895


Yes, but nothing like often enough. Usually it's been somewhat impolite, negative, loud, aggressive, or dogmatic. Or even worse (and probably much more often), no criticism at all. I'm probably making all kinds of mistakes that they can see, that they don't tell me about. I think people often fall ...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Has anyone given you constructive criticism?

Posted: 25 Apr 2022, 5:43 pm 

Replies: 25
Views: 895


I've received constructive criticism countless times. I've received destructive criticism disguised as constructive criticism countless times. I've received blatantly destructive criticism countless times. Well, the saving grace of your middle statement is, at least you recognized that it was disgu...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 25 Apr 2022, 5:36 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,995


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUpxmn7W57o This song's lyrics suggest a personality type i.e. lazy, irresponsible, flippant type, and NOT a person with a developmental disability... AFAIK he hasn't explained its meaning, so I guess it's whatever the individual wants to make of it. I just posted it...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Has anyone given you constructive criticism?

Posted: 24 Apr 2022, 8:04 pm 

Replies: 25
Views: 895


Has anyone given you constructive criticism? :chin: Yes. But since I know it all, it wasn't necessary. 8) <joke> I have a bad habit of offering advice. I suspect this is an autistic trait. But I have learnt that many people find it *unwanted* advice. The best thing to do in *personal* situations, i...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Has anyone given you constructive criticism?

Posted: 24 Apr 2022, 7:08 pm 

Replies: 25
Views: 895


Has anyone given you constructive criticism? And if so, how did you react and/or apply it? I got it at various points, from trusted sources like my father and a couple of well-meaning friends, and at least one former co-worker... yes, the vast majority of people will just dismiss you as "some w...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 24 Apr 2022, 6:51 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,995


ToughDiamond wrote:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUpxmn7W57o


This song's lyrics suggest a personality type i.e. lazy, irresponsible, flippant type, and NOT a person with a developmental disability...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Revenge fantasies

 Post subject: Re: Revenge fantasies
Posted: 24 Apr 2022, 6:46 pm 

Replies: 12
Views: 350


I can definitely think of a few "people" from my past, whom I wouldn't shed a tear over if they died in some horrible way. I don't bother googling them, since I've moved on since way back then, vastly improved my life and social functioning, and it sounds cliche but the best revenge, for m...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 20 Apr 2022, 12:34 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,995


If you feel like you have tried, and someone says you haven't, they could simply be messing with you. Yeah, I completely agree with this!! If some streetwise bullies who have acute ToM sense that you're sensitive about your struggles and being invalidated in spite of them, they will lie or exaggera...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 20 Apr 2022, 12:28 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,995


. . . but my mother wouldn't tell me to give up on being a veterinarian. I was in the 3rd grade when she said that (although she claims she always encouraged me) and I just gave up trying anything in school. I wouldn't do any assignments and my grades dropped from A's to F's and I didn't care. I ha...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Has your ability to read body language improved?

Posted: 17 Apr 2022, 12:49 pm 

Replies: 13
Views: 727


I am excellent at reading body language, both human and animal, with humans it is a problem because so often the words spoken do not match the body language, and that leaves me confused. Yeah, those kind of scenarios typically connote sarcasm, indignation, passive-aggression or "subtle" r...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Has your ability to read body language improved?

Posted: 16 Apr 2022, 7:24 pm 

Replies: 13
Views: 727


I can tell you from my own experience, that once I was diagnosed with Aspergers in 2001, my ability to read body language (including faces) significantly improved - mostly because I got in a conscious daily reinforcement loop of looking for "the signs" in others, and it helped that I had a...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 10 Apr 2022, 11:54 am 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,995


yes, all my life from early childhood on I was told I was not trying, told I was not paying attention, told I was lazy, Told I was being difficult and not following directions on purpose, told I was stupid, inept, mean, thoughtless, inconsiderate, etc. It took a toll. I had depression for 30 years ...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 09 Apr 2022, 6:02 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,995


That sounds like a good question to ask? Are the responses you get useful? Ehh...not really. :( At least they don't get aggressive. They'd typically just mutter some "by now" statement, e.g. "well, you would have gotten the hang of (insert NT-centric activity bias) BY NOW". And ...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"?

Posted: 09 Apr 2022, 4:45 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 1,995


I found IME it was typically the opposite (at least in my later adult years) at jobs, where the feedback would be "you need to stop trying so hard" - which upon reflection was due to their not appreciating that I had to use analytical reasoning in place of spontaneous intuition. But I digr...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: The worst rejection you got from a woman?

Posted: 16 Feb 2022, 10:15 am 

Replies: 48
Views: 3,259


For me it's just been silence. Lots of it. And the occasional "You're nice, but ..." I guess the conversation that hurt the most was when I (believed I) was dating a woman in my early 20s, and I was frustrated we weren't progressing. We went into her apartment after a party, I sat down on...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Can you tell when you misinterpreted indirect speech?

Posted: 14 Feb 2022, 7:37 pm 

Replies: 1
Views: 671


Quite the challenge for us "Aspies", but have you gotten better at accurately comprehending indirect speech from NTs? That was definitely the bane of my existence in my young adult years... I always relied on one bellwether of misinterpreting indirect speech - my NT interlocutor would look...
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