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Mathematics jokes

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Rudin
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03 Feb 2016, 3:49 pm

This is a thread for jokes about mathematics.

Although I'm not sure if this qualifies as a mathematics joke here is my own take on a well-known classic joke.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven is a registered six offender.

As opposed to the classic "because 7 ate 9".


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"God may not play dice with the universe, but something strange is going on with prime numbers."

-Paul Erdos

"There are two types of cryptography in this world: cryptography that will stop your kid sister from looking at your files, and cryptography that will stop major governments from reading your files."

-Bruce Schneider


Rudin
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04 Feb 2016, 5:10 pm

Q:What's purple and commutative?
A: An Abelian grape (instead of Abelian group)


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"God may not play dice with the universe, but something strange is going on with prime numbers."

-Paul Erdos

"There are two types of cryptography in this world: cryptography that will stop your kid sister from looking at your files, and cryptography that will stop major governments from reading your files."

-Bruce Schneider


wbport
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09 Feb 2016, 8:12 am

The number you have reached is imaginary, please rotate your phone 90 degrees.



MDD123
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09 Feb 2016, 3:53 pm

Why are computer scientists so bad with holidays?

Because DEC 25 == OCT 31


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bushratcandy
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11 Feb 2016, 9:37 am

When Noah landed his boat, he told all the animals to "go forth and multiply".
A few weeks later he was doing the rounds and noticed that the mr and mrs snake weren't complying.
He inquired why? They replied "We can't we're adders!"


So anyway another month or so passed and Noah met the snakes again, with a brood of snakelings in tow...
What happened he asked, they replied "We discovered logs!"


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TheAP
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11 Feb 2016, 10:31 am

Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
A: Because you can't drink and derive.

(My spell check seems to have switched to British, and it underlines "math".)



JoeyFlash
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29 Feb 2016, 11:42 pm

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Matthew.

Matthew who?

Math you couldn't do unless you had an IQ of 184.

(yes, it's my signature as well)


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Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Matthew.

Matthew who?

Math you couldn't do unless you had an IQ of 184.