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nilescrane
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04 Dec 2010, 2:24 am

I'm upset at the ending, and I'm not sure how much of it is the fact that I had a thing for the actress that played Beth the minute I saw her in the movie and me vicariously living through the movie, or much how of it is that I feel bad for Adam and the message that men with autism aren't compatible for relationships.

Adam went all the way to her house in the cold to win her back...wouldn't he have emotions even if he wasn't great at articulating them? He also wasn't completely helpless...he had a job and got a new one and was pretty independent. Beth also was in love with him.

I didn't like the "I need you to care of me" stuff. In some cases for Aspie men (like mine) it's true...but Adam the character was independent and got a lot done in his life and lived on his own.

It reminds me of the disappointment I had when Ben Affleck chose his girlfriend over his new love interest played by Sandra Bullock in the movie Forces Of Nature.

A lot of movies have cliched happy endings...but Adam, the character and the movie, deserved one.

There was a movie in the early 90s called Mr. Jones where Richard Gere plays a bi-polar guy whose therapist (Lena Olin) falls in love with him. She doesn't leave him and the whole point of the movie is "Well work through it together."



Shadi2
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05 Dec 2010, 10:08 am

nilescrane wrote:
Adam went all the way to her house in the cold to win her back...wouldn't he have emotions even if he wasn't great at articulating them? He also wasn't completely helpless...he had a job and got a new one and was pretty independent. Beth also was in love with him.
.....
I didn't like the "I need you to care of me" stuff. In some cases for Aspie men (like mine) it's true...but Adam the character was independent and got a lot done in his life and lived on his own.
.....
A lot of movies have cliched happy endings...but Adam, the character and the movie, deserved one.


I agree very much with Niles, I am a woman tho so eventho I agree that Beth is pretty it didn't really matter to me. But the message at the end bothered me. Sure they did what they wanted (Adam got his job and Beth wrote her book) but they could have done the same things while being a couple and happy together. Personally I thought they were a great couple. Adam did a lot of things that showed he obviously had feelings for Beth, as you mentioned the time he went all the way to her house, also the time when he tried to clean her windows, and there is other ones and the smaller ones not as obvious, his happiness when he would see her, it is better then a million words. I would prefer 100 times a guy who does those things for me and showed me that he cares by his actions, then a guy who would just keep saying I love you but wouldn't do anything that would show that he actually cares.

She helps him with some social skills ... yeah sure that's great, but what about any other couples? don't they help each other too with different things? To me when she decided not to go with him it felt like the message was: if your partner ever needs help with something you have to leave him/her.

I don't mind if it is a cliche, I wanted to see them together at the end.

Other then that I liked the movie a lot tho.


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nilescrane
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07 Dec 2010, 4:47 am

Shadi2 wrote:
nilescrane wrote:
Adam went all the way to her house in the cold to win her back...wouldn't he have emotions even if he wasn't great at articulating them? He also wasn't completely helpless...he had a job and got a new one and was pretty independent. Beth also was in love with him.
.....
I didn't like the "I need you to care of me" stuff. In some cases for Aspie men (like mine) it's true...but Adam the character was independent and got a lot done in his life and lived on his own.
.....
A lot of movies have cliched happy endings...but Adam, the character and the movie, deserved one.



She helps him with some social skills ... yeah sure that's great, but what about any other couples? don't they help each other too with different things? To me when she decided not to go with him it felt like the message was: if your partner ever needs help with something you have to leave him/her.

I don't mind if it is a cliche, I wanted to see them together at the end.

Other then that I liked the movie a lot tho.


Agreed. It seems the writers were trying too hard to avoid the cliche ending...but it really didn't even make sense. Beth was in love with him, then out of nowhere it's like they came up with that "he's not emotional enough" b.s. (which isn't true of all aspies anyway.) Instead the message came across as like you said, partners shouldn't be a hassle. It also tells me that they're saying that Adam isn't compatible for a relationship (at least without someone as so-called "handicapped" as he is.)

I read about 30 reviews on netflix...and most of the viewers who liked the movie hated the ending and the message. Yeah, some movies have cliche endings and don't really need it...but I really felt Adam and Beth as a couple. Beth was a very patient and understanding and caring person...so for her to just give up on him just because he wasn't as vocal about his emotions as she'd like him to be made no sense.



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07 Dec 2010, 6:52 am

nilescrane wrote:
It seems the writers were trying too hard to avoid the cliche ending...but it really didn't even make sense. Beth was in love with him, then out of nowhere it's like they came up with that "he's not emotional enough" b.s. (which isn't true of all aspies anyway.) Instead the message came across as like you said, partners shouldn't be a hassle. It also tells me that they're saying that Adam isn't compatible for a relationship (at least without someone as so-called "handicapped" as he is.)

...

I really felt Adam and Beth as a couple. Beth was a very patient and understanding and caring person...so for her to just give up on him just because he wasn't as vocal about his emotions as she'd like him to be made no sense.


Agreed 100%


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15 Dec 2010, 3:40 pm

Shadi2 wrote:
nilescrane wrote:
It seems the writers were trying too hard to avoid the cliche ending...but it really didn't even make sense. Beth was in love with him, then out of nowhere it's like they came up with that "he's not emotional enough" b.s. (which isn't true of all aspies anyway.) Instead the message came across as like you said, partners shouldn't be a hassle. It also tells me that they're saying that Adam isn't compatible for a relationship (at least without someone as so-called "handicapped" as he is.)

...

I really felt Adam and Beth as a couple. Beth was a very patient and understanding and caring person...so for her to just give up on him just because he wasn't as vocal about his emotions as she'd like him to be made no sense.


Agreed 100%


Totally agree. I loved the movie, but it should've deserved a better ending. You know, they should've ended up together.


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MCalavera
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16 Dec 2010, 4:48 am

nilescrane wrote:
The actress that played Beth has one of the most beautiful faces I've ever seen.


Yeah ... she's hot.



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16 Dec 2010, 9:41 am

i was not able to pay extended attention to "mozart and the whale" because i did not identify with the characters and it made me sleepy and bored to watch to the end.

then i heard about the movie "adam" and i had no inclination to watch it because i thought that it would be another hollywood portrayal of autism that was written by well meaning non autistics, and acted by well meaning non autistics.


then ruveyns appraisal of the movie "adam" made me interested to download and watch it because i thought "if skeptical old ruveyn endorses it, then it may be interesing to watch."


i did not identify with the adam character because he seems like a nervous wreck to me.

he is always agonizing over things that i simply could not care about. i realize that asperger syndrome is not influential on personality, and therefore the personality of the "adam" character may be a genuine depiction of someone else with asperger syndrome.

but it was not relevant to me, and so i felt claustrophobic in my stubborn resolution to watch the film to it's conclusion.

i lost interest about half way through, but i continued to watch it so i at least could say i saw the whole thing in response to anyone who rebuffs my appraisals.

the movie was shallow and lacking in anything that was food for further speculation.
it was a simple reenactment of what NT's consider asperger's syndrome to be.

they made the movie with the ordinary ingredients of "unconventional person get's love from a single pretty girl who refuses to go with the flow of general disapproval".

the highlight of the movie for me was when she gave him a book in the park called "how to find work that works for people with asperger syndrome"

there was a parrallel with my own life surrounding that scene.

i was "let go" from my employment as a computer programmer earlier this year when the company i worked for was sold, and the new boss decided that my work on an artificially intelligent predictive program that i called "fido" was superlative to the company's requirement. ("fido" stands for "fast interface to dictionary of operations".)
anyway, i was cut out, and the senior manager of a department sent me a book called "how to find work that works for people with asperger syndrome"

so i was excited when i saw that book she gave him in the park, because it mirrored my exact situation earlier this year.

this is the book they showed in the film Image

beyond that, i became bored because the story went down a track that i am unfamiliar with.



nilescrane
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16 Dec 2010, 10:41 am

It wasn't the most exciting movie...but I think the actors that played Adam and Beth had a lot of chemistry. My one complaint with Adam as a character was that he was more on the autism or HFA side than Aspergers...I think he overacted despite good intentions.

But what makes the movie worth watching in my opinion is the relationship between the two. I legitimately bought Beth as a pretty and smart girl next door that found Adam attractive and interesting and didn't care that he wasn't other people's idea of the right guy for her.

It bothers me though, even though it wasn't the movie's intention, the implication that Adam or Aspie males aren't long-term relationship material. Like I said, Adam was pretty self-sufficient as far as having his own job and surviving in a world with both of his parents dead. The implication that he needed to be taken care of IMO was a cop out just to give the writers a reason to go for the anti-hollywood ending.

The other thing I didn't like was the implication that Aspie men aren't capable of emotions. If the love and dating section on this site is any indication...a lot of Aspie men are in successful real life relationships and capable genuine love for a woman or have had experiences...and the ones that haven't, a lot of them very much have emotions. The way it came off (even though it probably wasn't the intention) is that Adam is some kind of retard when it comes to relationships and not capable of feeling romantic love for a woman.



eatingcereal
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08 Jan 2011, 11:48 pm

Is it really that accurate? I may be wrong but I don't believe all people with aspergers are as socially inept as Adam particularly was. By his age wouldn't he be mature enough to pick up on at least SOME of the obvious social cues displayed, even if they were a result of learned and not natural behavior?

As a self-suspected aspie, I related a bit less to the movie than I thought, but maybe i'm just slightly more socially oriented?



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09 Jan 2011, 2:00 pm

eatingcereal wrote:
Is it really that accurate? I may be wrong but I don't believe all people with aspergers are as socially inept as Adam particularly was. By his age wouldn't he be mature enough to pick up on at least SOME of the obvious social cues displayed, even if they were a result of learned and not natural behavior?

As a self-suspected aspie, I related a bit less to the movie than I thought, but maybe i'm just slightly more socially oriented?


If you recall the plot of the movie, Adam recently lost his father. Perhaps his father kept him sheltered.

Adam also had a friend who covered for him a lot.

That might retard Adam's ability to adapt.

If you noticed at the end of the movie, Adam gave a rather human reason for looking at the sky. Perhaps he is growing up.

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12 Jan 2011, 8:41 pm

I watched "Adam" with my girlfriend and we both kinda enjoyed it until the end, which IMO spoiled the entire experience. It also annoyed me that the AS traits of "Adam" were inconsistent and his girlfriend didn't behave naturally some of the time, but those are just minor annoyances.

As a movie on AS and love, I strongly prefer "Mozart and the Whale" to "Adam". To me, it felt a lot more less artificial than "Adam" and the message is far more positive.



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14 Jan 2011, 11:45 pm

FJP wrote:
I thought it was a real good movie.

My wife and I started laughing like crazy when it showed his refrigerator filled with Mac and Cheese. It looked just like ours!! !! ! I eat that same brand every day ate work. We have started calling it Aspie Mac. :D


:lol: That was my favorite part also. I'm a stickler for repetitious eating also. Always the same brands.



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20 Jan 2011, 6:01 pm

Really enjoyed the movie. Rose Byrne is just adorable.