what would happen if Schumacher made Batman: Arkham asylum

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Laconvivencia
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23 Mar 2011, 4:37 pm

I was thinking what would happen if Schumacher made Arkham Asylum, here is what i think would happen

-Arkham would be a neon nightmare
-Batman voiced by Adam West
-Include a Whiny Robin like in Schumachers Batman films
-Bat nipples
-a new batsuit to unlock that includes laser nipples
-Villains
Joker- like in the 60s series
Riddler- it is Jim Carrey's Riddler in Batman Forever
Mr Freeze- Arnold Schwarzneggers Mr Freeze in Batman And Robin, in the game you ask him to tell some lame ice puns
Black Mask- Just like Jim Carreys The Mask , Instead of a skull mask burnt to his face like the comics, it will be a exact rip off of Jim Carreys "the mask", except his name will be Black Mask/ Roman Sionis and his face will be black instead of green. You will hear Black Mask saying things like "Smokin" or "Somebody Stop Me" .
Bane- will be a steroidal ret*d like in Batman And Robin
Poison Ivy- Just like the one in Batman And Robin
Harvey Two Face- Just like Tommy Lee Jones take in Batman Forever, a Joker reject.

can you think of any more ideas anyone?



Shadwell
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23 Mar 2011, 6:03 pm

That's funny. If you look at Falling Down you'd think Schumacher would be able to direct a Batman.



hill-o-beans
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23 Mar 2011, 6:27 pm

I expect if Schumaker had a chance to have made Batman Arkham Asylum it would be good, as he has made gritty films and gothy films before, like Phantom of the Opera and Falling Down, and crime movies like Phone booth. I think he made his Batman movies the way they were because thats how all kids' blockbuster's were in the 90s, colourful and ridicolous, and he was told to make them kids blockbusters. But I would definately pay to see a serious schumacker Batman film.



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23 Mar 2011, 7:23 pm

Bat-Crotch. TONS of Bat-Crotch. (Note to Joel Schumacher: We get it. You're gay. That's nice. We don't care. Welcome to the 21st century. Now, can you get past that yourself, and try shooting a few reels of Batman that don't focus on either Bat-Crotch or Bat-Nipples? Thanks...)


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LexingtonDeville
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24 Mar 2011, 6:06 am

Joel Schumacher isn't necessarily a bad director (Falling Down is proof that he could make a underrated gem), it's just that his vision of Batman is a homo-erotic camp-fest with sprinkles of neon and bat-nipples and bat-crotch. Thank god for the realism of Begins and TDK.

My pick for directing a film based on Arkham Asylum? Guillermo Del Toro, he's adept at making dark and twisted fantasies.


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hill-o-beans
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24 Mar 2011, 10:44 am

i think Schumaker could make a good film in the Nolan series. just look at phone booth. TDK type epic camera shots and a joker like villain who messses around with people forcing them to commit crimes on each other.



Giftorcurse
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24 Mar 2011, 5:06 pm

Will you guys please stop bitching about how Joel Schumacher raped your moms? That's all you do! You need a new hobby.


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DeaconBlues
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24 Mar 2011, 7:39 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:
Will you guys please stop bitching about how Joel Schumacher raped your moms? That's all you do! You need a new hobby.

No, Joel Schumacher didn't rape our moms. Didn't you get the memo? He's gay - he raped our DADS!

On a more serious note, I only complain about that when someone proposes the idea of ever letting Schumacher within 30 meters of directing Batman (or any other superhero movie/videogame cutscene) again. He can make any other movies he likes. Hell, I'll even let him make superhero movies, as long as it's Northstar, Rictor and Shatterstar, or the Pied Piper...


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hill-o-beans
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25 Mar 2011, 3:30 am

DeaconBlues wrote:
Giftorcurse wrote:
Will you guys please stop bitching about how Joel Schumacher raped your moms? That's all you do! You need a new hobby.

No, Joel Schumacher didn't rape our moms. Didn't you get the memo? He's gay - he raped our DADS!

On a more serious note, I only complain about that when someone proposes the idea of ever letting Schumacher within 30 meters of directing Batman (or any other superhero movie/videogame cutscene) again. He can make any other movies he likes. Hell, I'll even let him make superhero movies, as long as it's Northstar, Rictor and Shatterstar, or the Pied Piper...


and appolo and midnite (from the authority)



skafather84
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25 Mar 2011, 9:47 am

Schumacher + Batman = bat nipples


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countzarroff
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30 Mar 2011, 7:10 pm

Guys, the movie is old. This is coming from a Batman fan, let it go. It happened, its over, move on. At this point, the joke behind it is worn out. :roll:



skafather84
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02 Apr 2011, 1:07 pm

Theres's actually a comic now called nipples on the batsuit.


http://nipplesonthebatsuit.com/


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