The Worst Movies Ever Made

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Here are a few of the films I've absolutely loathed:

Boogeyman. The film features an awful climax where the evil monster that's been terrorising the hero since his childhood is defeated by said hero closing his eyes and counting to five. Also, there is a nonsensical segment where he apparently moves backward through time (with no explanation, mind you), and winds up leaving a bloody handprint on a bathtub - a handprint which he himself had seen earlier in the movie. It's just a wretched mess, and I seriously considered asking for my money back. I can't believe it spawned TWO sequels...

The Phantom Menace: way to poison my childhood memories, George Lucas. And thanks so much for Jar Jar Binks. Not since the Ewoks has a character been so directly marketed towards squealing kiddies.

Spider-Man 3: too many villains, too little plot. And they totally wasted Venom, which is a crime in itself.

Batman & Robin: this film is just dreadful on every level. The script is awful, the costumes are cringe-worthy, the misuse of Bane is a crime (in the comics, he's a total badass who breaks Batman's back and puts his boot squarely on Gotham's neck - but in the movie, he's just a grunting lackey of Poison Ivy played by an ex-wrestler), and Joel Schumacher's direction is embarrassing.

X-Men: The Last Stand: where to begin? Like the above film, the directing is lousy and the script is horrible, and so many characters are thrown at the screen that the viewer barely gets to know any of them. Plus, there are scenes which switch from day to night and back again when only a few minutes are supposed to have passed. And as if that weren't enough, my boy Cyclops is completely marginalised and then killed after showing the deepest acting the film ever sees, completely ripping out the story's emotional heart so that Wolverine can take his place. Grr...

"Nekromantik".

Manos, thehands of fate, made on a bet

Yes, this movie is every bit as bad as the trailer makes it seem...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs8rFsmhNTc[/youtube]

The movie that I hate more than any other, Brazil is not a bad movie, it just depresses the hell out of me.

For actually being a bad movie, I really have to go with Batman and Robin. Aside from everything else already mentioned about what makes this movie so incredibly bad, what puts it over the top in my mind is the scene involving the "batcard". For those who either haven't seen this movie or have blocked it out, at one point Batman and Robin are bidding against each other for Poison Ivy at a charity auction, and when Batman runs out of cash, he whips out an AMEX card with the bat-symbol on it and actually says "don't leave the cave without it"! !! It's a whole new low in product placement that I don't think has been equaled to this day, they didn't even have to film a separate commercial, the commercial including their slogan is wholly contained within the movie!

On a separate note, Battlefield Earth just picked up the Razzie for worst film of the decade, which almost makes me regret never having seen it. Maybe I'll download it just to witness the spectacle, at least that way no one profits from producing such a clunker.

I have to say I like the mortal kombat movies. They amuse me.

I hated Burn after Reading - It was completely unfunny and a waste of my time and money. Terrible plot which killed off the only amusing character played by Brad Pitt and pointless violence. AWFUL.

Vanilla Sky - Another awful movie with a lousy and confusing plot. Pointless and confusing best describes this movie to me.

Knocked up - Another movie with so much hype around it (like Burn after Reading) which for me just did not deliver. There was the odd amusing scene but also uneccessary swearing and sometimes disgusting. Very unfunny although I know a lot of people would say it's hilarious.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall - Disgusting.

Me and my friends, being the masochistic bastards we are, recently undertook a triple feature of Battlefield Earth, Glitter, and Dragon Wars for my birthday. Here's how it measured up.

Dragon Wars - believe it or not, the easiest to sit through. It's barely 80 minutes, and everything that happens in the movie is laugh-out-loud hilarious. The hokey backstory, the awful CG, the dull performances from the actors, it's just fantastic. It's crap but I highly recommend it.

Battlefield Earth - this one was a little harder to get through, because despite it being only two hours long it feels like it goes on FOREVER. This is another one where the plot is just flat out stupid. I want to criticize John Travolta for getting this made, but really he's the only entertaining character in it. All the humans are stone-faced earnest/serious and the other aliens are just grotesque cackling dandies. We still laughed our asses off though at the horrible camera angles and special effects.

Glitter - Would you believe THIS was the most painful one to sit through out of the three? I was surprised too. Oh it starts off hilarious, with it's incompetent choppy editing and laughably bad script with lines like "Sylke, I didn't know you could blow like that", but about halfway in it becomes achingly sincere. You just look at Mariah Carey and think "You don't actually BELIEVE in this cliched horses**t, do you?" But she does, 100%. And that's the most mind-blowing part. What really made me mad though was trying to have it both ways by saying Mariah Carey isn't a piece of meat while still taking EVERY OPPURTUNITY to show off her tits and ass. You can't have it both ways Mariah! Only sit through this movie if you have a VERY high tolerance for bad films.

I forgot about this one! I saw it in the theaters when it came out. It was quite bad. Though, I should have known when, near the start of the movie, they had a flashback within a flashback.

It's shameful that this thread reached four bloody pages without a mention (that I saw) of the bilge spewed forth by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer:
Epic Movie
Meet the Spartans
Date Movie
etc....

It makes my head throb to hear people (the creators and actors included) say that it's a satire. It isn't effing satire, it's just copying the originals, then throwing in fart/sex/gay jokes and some product placements for 90 minutes.

From Maddox:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVHWJ9jPYw8&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]