Anything Else I Should Consider With High Scores?
Recently took Autism tests & scored very high on all. Intelegence has always helped me figure how where & why to be until recent. I guess since I "decided" to figure out what good was around 12 and just do that anxiety has never really been an issue by simply doing what everybody else does? Prior to this I was a very unruley child...with many of the issues I have now. I have a protocol for everything, every character type, situation to produce optimal results and avoid what every trouble is. I have also always had sensory issues as in non existant or way over but for the past 5 years or so 10x what has been normal for me but still hightened. I have definately never experience pain the same as others baffeling dentists and doctors. Lights, sounds, textures, touch, you name it all over the top. I been through neurology numerous times for everything under the sun. Mostly for senory issues and something that was always there but never nearly intense: when overloaded with surroundings pixilated vison and a sense of have litterally no idea what to do or what is going on. I have always been extremely over intellegent and really for most of my life managed to live a realatively peaceful life with little anxiety at all. As time has gone on my wife and I have reared 9 children, I built a supporting business, and as demand grew.... Reality kicked in and as demand has increased I have decreased drastically from inanely high producer to slowly growing boarder line useless unable to effectively process everything comming in. We home school all of our children with 2 gone already. Our online public school has an IEP to assist 4 of them and asked if autism was prevelant in our family. They pointed out some correlations and after explaining how an autistic person thinks it dawned on me that this is me and every last thing on the list of 50+ items they gave me are apparently autistic traits. My wife and I have needed marriage counciling and the councilor has never cared for me much but when I mentioned the school autism situation it was like magically light bulb went off in her head and instanltly became curious how I didn't realize nobody process the world in the same fashion. Suggested I take a list of pre-screens and bring the scores next time. Well.... they are definately what appears very high but I have no idea what that even means or ever considered such a thing. Anything else cause such correlation? Also looking for advice on what next? Advantages and disadvantages to getting diagnosis?
Sorry for the long post... figured I would answer leading questions by just answering them
Self andministered tests and results:
CAT-q=137
Raads=188
AQ=37
ASPIE=163
RMET=19of36 501seconds
SQ=126
OAQ=121
RBQ2a=43
AQ10=8
EQ=59
mmaringer, Welcome to Wrong Planet.
Life can be very interesting for those with Asperger's Syndrome or Aspie for short. Yes many of your characteristics match ours. So what information can I provide for you?
Generally this trait is inherited and there are probably many within your family that also have this trait. If you look deeper you will find them. Some may even be in your children. (But in my opinion it is a good trait, but you need to learn how to use it effectively.)
Humans are a very complex being. This is because we have multiple brains. Some exist on the left side of our skull and they are the dominant daytime brains and others exist on the right side and they are the support brains that exist during our sleep. But for some of us, we died before reaching the age when a child becomes an adult, which is around age 12. When that happens in my humble opinion, we are given the choice to live or die. A large bull attacked me when I was around 3 or 4 and I stood next to my dead body. I choose to live. But it was my right brain that came back not my left dominant brain. Thus it was like I came back to the WRONG PLANET.
But as you learned, it is important to use your strengths to overcome your weaknesses.
So you are going through some hard times. O.K. What can I do to help you? In my humble opinion, you can regain your former strength following two methods. First, you need exercise. You need to perform strenuous exercise for around one hour per day. Strenuous exercise vents stress. Second, you need deep sleep each night. This is REM and deep NREM sleep. About 2 hours of this type of sleep each night.
You wrote, "when overloaded with surroundings pixilated vison and a sense of have litterally no idea what to do or what is going on."
I use to have that condition. It has a name but I forgot what this is called. Let see? It has something to do with light. You start to see light in the eyes moving about and then it gets to the point where you cannot even see. So you are blind. After about an hour, you develop a massive headache. Then an hour or two latter you return to normal.
I think when this happened at work, I would go off into a spot where I could be alone and just rest until the episode was over. Oh now I remember, it was the type of light used at work. I am retired for several years and live at home and do not experience this difficulty anymore. Some of the florescent bulbs at work caused the problem.
Since I am now retired and live at home, I can control how my home is lit, so the problem is solved.
I also found something else that helped my vision. I wear prescription sunglasses. But they are not normal sunglasses. They have polarized lenses. They are designed to only allow light to enter the glasses from the top down and from the side to the other side. They take away all the glare. So I can see very clear light.
According to the internet: Polarized, or anti-glare, sunglass lenses reduce light glare and eyestrain. Because of this, they improve vision and safety in the sun. When working or playing outdoors, you can become frustrated and even temporarily blinded by reflected light and glare. This is a potentially dangerous situation that polarized lenses can prevent.
Usually light from the sun scatters as it bounces at varying angles off an object’s uneven surface. But if the surface is smooth, as with calm water or a flat piece of sheet metal, light reflects at one angle. When this light reflects right in your eyes, this is what we know as glare. Polarized sunglasses reduce glare and solve this problem.
What Are Polarized Lenses For?
_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."
Double Retired
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Welcome to WP and the Autism Spectrum. I hope you like both.
Recommendation?
Well, you've muddled your way through many decades not knowing you were Autistic so I'll assume you are "High Functioning." Learning more about Autism (by poking around on the Internet) would probably still be a good thing...not taking the tests but learning about "Autism".
Like others here (including myself) I had long ago come to the conclusion I was "different" but had no clue what the difference was. Then, at age 64, I started reading about Autism and, WOW!, it described me. So much of what I'd experienced suddenly made so much sense.
I am not seeking special accommodations or therapy. That feeling of understanding has been the primary benefit for me. I retired comfortably when I was 56 and had gone through 63 years oblivious to the fact that I was Autistic. The biggest benefits of learning I was Autistic have been:
- A better understanding of the life I'd lived
- Wrong Planet
- When my bride bumps into one of my Autism traits I now get to say:!
- When my bride I have a doctor's note for that!
There is one area where I would like adjustments: medical care. I find it frustrating to interact with the medical community and we do not communicate well. I had one Cardiologist tell me he saw no reason he should care about my Autism because he was interested in my heart, not my brain (I noted that the Autism would affect how he and I communicated but I don't know if that registered with him). And cardiac "stress tests"...sigh...they were stressful both for me and the people administering them, and I am pretty sure I did things so wrong the tests were at most marginally useful.
But, overall, the knowledge that I am Autistic has been more entertaining than useful. But I am very, very happy to have learned it.
_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.
I never realized normal people what ever that is don't think in the same fashion. I have always known I don't think like other but never realized the insanely vast difference. I am 42 now and from 19-24 I took care of disabled adults with autism and they were nothing like me. So I thought..... and never even considered. For some reason ever since people started using the word spectrum I find extremely confusing and have no recollection of autism ever being described that way when working with them. It was the best job I ever had. Out of the 5 only two talked but one pretty much just talked in character often trying to be me lol and the other talked but at child level and the others just rocked, spinned shoes on their finger, baskeballs, anyting and always smiled. Seems nothing like me and never dawned on me it was a different way of processing information and they were simply "pathological" and I wasn't.
With insane demand in the life we have built.... demand overload is something I simply never experienced and now stuck in a terrible cycle of insane productivity when demand is "under controll" and when not insane no productively as in useless. My problem presently is unknowingly together have built an over demanding life with 9 children based on my individual ability to meet genuine needs. Over the last 5 years ability to actually do all the things to produce like that and all the rest has just gone down and down. I have been known by every body everywhere as the nicest person ever and never yelled or even got upset with complete jackasses and they would even become people that eventually would be come extra friendly because my attitude in response to theirs. The stress and anxiety of not meeting needs with blankness my normal overly honest black and white ridged thinking has gotten me in giant trouble.
15 years of absolutely as nice and kind as can be anywhere every where always my spouse has had it with me now getting angry. Constant pointing out and blut descriptions of everything out of controll and what we need to do about it to avoid catastrophies. She wants to do normal things lol I want to avoid all the trouble I can't handle that genuinely occur and then can't be handled. For 15 years she never even seen anger but as I started responding with no we need to focus on what is out of control to avoid ABC there has been a disconnect in understanding. I upset her probably reasonably and all the mental machinary I build to avoid more things I know I can't handle that I see comming down the road a mile away, is never understood.
For me it is like a 3 cord whip where the 3rd whip makes me angry. 1. Can't avoid what I can't handle and no way to instill understanding, 2. trouble I can't handle and have ways to avoid happens 95% of the time (she agrees lol), 3. Then point out why were are in trouble and how to avoid next time. The last is where I get into major trouble. I know what I can't handle, pushed into from lack of understanding, it irritates her and every "logical" way I push back kindly it makes no sense to her and fighting ensues. It happens... both irritated about it....then she says I am blaming when explaining trying to avoid, reasons why, and how to avoid next time. I guess I now understand I am blaming...to others? I guess I don't understand how? No matter how much I try to explain I am not blaming, I understand mistakes, and could care less no intention of enducing bad feelings, of course pushing into what I say won't work is part of my explanation of the present issue. Blaming? Accusing? No patients? litterally makes no sense to me. If you walk from a to b you are at be because you walked there? The three fold combo of dismissed trying to avoid, the unavoided trouble, and the accusations of my personal character from the constant ongoing lack of mutual understanding makes me angry. The constant avoidable trouble, over demand, lack of producing neccessities, accusation light years away from my honest self genuinely does make me angry and maybe should. BUT If verbally attacked in anyway for being even mildly upset, I shut down, and with my mouth I dismantel my "opponent" with reality... and easily percieved as "very mean". She has never seen that from me our entire relation ship and feels I have lost my patients with her as a person. I haven't but she says she feels that way and definately is openly saying loosing her patients with getting angry.
I have already power consumed every piece of readable and viewable content I can find after realizing the likely hood my insanely logical way of processing is what autisim even is. I feel like I clearly understand both sides and have 1,000 to correct based on the information consumed BUT like all things I need some form of human affirmation or something I see works. We have tried several things with out any understanding we are litterally viewing things from totally different planets. I could go on for ever BUT for her if we don't find somthing that works.... she don't feel she can continue for rational reasons. Husband not meeting needs, no idea what to do, gets angry, and repeatedly failing to find a semi consistent way to not have trouble with each other.
Probably makes zero sense as usual
I am requesting suggestions for people that have been here before! Things that work for them so I can see the correlations in what I now know. With the information I now have I see a 1000 functioning ways forward as we both want but they are logical with no way of knowing what has actually worked in real time.
With pressure and genuine love for each other we started marriage counciling which we both despise. Everything suggested is perfectly normal but of course 95% are things I learned on my own and already made 1000 attempts at with failure. After considering autism in some of our children and introducing the idea last week it was like a magical light bulb went of in the councilors head followed by a littany of questions and explanations. Maybe she can help us now but unfortunately I don't how much she can help with out personal understanding from a similar position.
Thank in advance for 10,000 life times and if made it this far sorry for the likely over stated explanation
Your Friend,
The guy typing the message....and glad to use insane intellect to problem solve on your behalf also...
Double Retired
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Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 69
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Am I wrong in thinking it sounds like perhaps you and/or your bride could stand a "vacation"? Something different both of you would enjoy. Maybe as simple as a few movies or meals out?
(There are movies about Autism...but your bride might object to them being snuck into the playlist.)
Trivia: DSM terminology related to Autism, Asperger's, and the Autism Spectrum has been changing.
_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.
AnonymousAnonymous
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Oh friend I wish it was that simple. What you guys refer to as special interests I have always refered to as running the gauntlet. I spend every available minute reasearching how to solve a problem until there is nothing else to know about a problem AND functioning solutions then execute. I could recite all traditional relationship managment techniques and recovery techniques by heart... When you are seen by most as the best at and most knowledgable on everything with insanely indepth understanding of just about anything with protocols to execute nobody has ever questioned anything I say or do until recently. At home this is obviously completly different. My interactions at home are night and day different. On top of it outside my home the only people I really interact with were litterally paid not too.... Essentially been living in a bubble of my own creation of black and white and expecting the same in personal realationship with zero understanding just how offensive some of my explanations about bad behavior or bad decisions really are. They make perfect sense to me? After vulnerably looking like a complete fool I asked several individuals if I interact with them that way and... They say I am a great friend to have and wonderful overunderstanding boss. Always ready if they have a problem they can't solve, somthing they don't understand, anything under the sun fixed, or really need anything. BUT always seem insensative, ramble about things they could never understand and could care less about, and make them feel stupid by trying to explain how to avoid their trouble or solve on their own in the future. Essentially my entire understanding of social construct is treated like engineering something where 1+1 does not equal happy or pleased and respond innappropriately based on the expectation they do.
I definately value your input and now that we have a few children 2-7 with some very obvious outward signs the door of understanding what autism actually is, is certainly open. Honestly hoping we both just have a lot to learn about our extremely different forms of perception and how to accomplish. I certainly have some serious strengths when functionable but they are less than useless overloaded. Loss of what I read people describe as executive function, serious sensory issues when overloaded, shutdowns, long periods of hard burn out have always been there but not nearly to the degree and frequency. Essentially has left us screwed and probably not been very pleasent with the addition of explaining why avoidable troubles come to pass essentially defined as blamming. Personally I need to develope tools to handle demand avoidance, avoid over sensory overload at all cost, and throw what you refer to as masking in the garbage can.
Mostly curious if anyone has had a similar experience they have sucessfully navigated. Transition of any kind with out something I understand and something to model typically goes no where. I have more than enough information in my head but is useless with out some kind of functioning model to apply to. If I build a functioning model it will be a decade later easily negated by not re inventing the washing mashine just clean clothes.
I am going through your emails. You wrote, "I am requesting suggestions for people that have been here before!"
The thing that comes to mind is Marriage Encounter.
Worldwide Marriage Encounter
This is a retreat for a husband and a wife to re-energize their marriage. I went to one many years ago and found it to be beneficial. At its core it doesn't try to destroy a marriage but rather reinvigorate a marriage.
This is very different then Marriage Counseling.
_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."
CockneyRebel
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Posts: 116,591
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
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