Minxz wrote:
Thank you all for your warm welcomes.
Jazz. There is not one answer to your question about how we maintain a happy marriage. We have been married for 5 years. The things that drew me to him were often the things that made him "different". As someone who has often felt an outsider myself I could empathize with him. When his idiosyncrasies do rub me wrong I remember that I love him because he is not a cookie cutter person. Besides there are always things that rub you wrong when you live in close quarters with someone I know I annoy him as well at times.
Additionally we are both extremely committed. Our marriage is a life decision. Our relationship started out as friendship so even before romance got involved we enjoyed the company of one another. DAn makes a concerted effort to make me feel emotionally secure. I know this can be tough for him since stating what to him seems obvious to him seems redundant but I never feel unloved which from what I can tell is a big bonus for an aspie relationship as in my reading I’ve found that a LOT of aspies struggle with expressing affection. Dan is hyper sensitive to touch but he does like me to touch him which again works in our favor.
The fact that I am not a social butterfly probably helps as well. He craves interaction more than I do but has such a hard time connecting and communicating with people that I find watching him struggle and yearn very painful. I do my best to find like minded people to associate with but the pool in our area especially is very small.
I guess all in all the fact that we really like each other. We enjoy being around each other even if it’s just quite time while he works on one of his projects and I read a book it helps us maintain closeness.
So glad to read your response. Like your idea much that everything started out in friendship before romance happened. The way it should be in my estimation. Love is when friendship catches fire, as you both know. I am glad to see he has helped make things emotionally secure with you. Yeah a lot of Aspies struggle with expressing affection. A few years ago, I would have been like that. Now, with accepting, liking, and loving myself as I am, I won't see any problems with expressing affection to a woman. I've got a lot of things going in my favor, and the qualities I have will make me look rather favorably in the eyes of a woman. I don't expect that she'll be a total social butterfly. But if she is, I kinda suspect she'll tone that down when around me. I am not the most social butterfly myself. However, I can connect and communicate with some people better than I do others. Nice knowing you both really like each other.
_________________
Scott
"The Jazz of Life - the only way to live life"
Dx'd with AS and AD/HD Combined in 2007
Interests: Music, great outdoors (beach/mountains), cooking/baking, philosophy, arts/sciences, reading, writing, sports, spirituality, Green, sus
20 Apr 2010, 1:27 pm
To WrongPlanet!! !
