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Chama
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19 Oct 2010, 3:36 pm

Hello! C:
I've been stalking this forum for quite awhile. I ended up so reading so much that I almost forgot I could post, too!

Once I remembered this, I got a bit intimidated at actually posting anything, and I just now decided to get over it...

So yes, hi~ I'm 24 years old, attending university for a degree in illustration. I've had (and am still having) a lot of difficulties with it, but I'm determined to get through. I live in San Francisco with 4 roommates, but it's been a downhill experience for my mental state and I'm going back to my parents next month.

I'm learning to paint in oils, and I love to draw digitally and in ink, or whatever I can get a hold of, really.

I've been diagnosed so far with social anxiety, clinical depression, panic attacks, bipolar disorder and ADHD. The last two are the current diagnosis, but ADHD is the only one I agree with. I would say with one-hundred-percent certainty that I am on the spectrum. I'm hesitant to say AS, because my social problems don't seem to match up entirely, but it could easily be a matter of circumstances.

Either way, finding this out about myself has actually been a relief. It made everything fall into place and I no longer feel like I'm just going insane.

So, I'm out of stalking mode now, and it's nice to meet you all~ : ]



theWanderer
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19 Oct 2010, 3:49 pm

Welcome!, from another newbie.

I have a few comments relevant to what you said. Various factors kept me from figuring out that I had AS until last month, at 51. And I seem to be somewhat atypical, even for an aspie. :roll: Even if you accept my self-diagnosis, I admit, I am only one aspie. My comments won't fit everyone. But I can tell you this: the outward signs are there, but what the "experts" claim goes on inside? They maybe have it half to three-quarters right, distorted, through a fog.

Why am I so sure that I am an aspie? Well, this is the first time a whole string of puzzling things in my life have finally made sense, looking at it through that lens. I even found another aspie on here that has the same trouble I have doing anything that requires rhythm - something I could never understand or explain. Big picture, little details, this is the only time it has all made sense. My eye problems (legally blind) and all the ripple effects from that, my strange childhood, my ADHD, I assumed those were "it", but they never came close to making sense of it all.

So what's my point? Well, if you view yourself as an aspie, and things make sense that didn't before, then you probably are. Don't assume the experts are always right; after all, the experts thought the Titanic was safe enough to skip installing enough lifeboats... And I have a suspicion, from what I've read, that AS tends to appear a bit different in women. Those are at least things for you to think about.


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Pamo
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19 Oct 2010, 3:51 pm

Welcome! You may want to change doctors and discuss the possibility of ASD with them right away. People are often misdiagnosed several times before they are diagnosed correctly. Since you are an adult, don't be afraid to advocate for yourself to help the drs diagnose you correctly.

Good luck and best wishes!



Chama
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19 Oct 2010, 4:13 pm

Wanderer: Thank you so much! Your reply was really helpful, and I'm glad for you too because it seems like figuring it out is going to help you a lot, as well. I can't imagine how strong you must be to have gone this long without an explanation!

Things have been falling into place for me the same way you describe, one by one things that I never even thought were abnormal from when I was young up until now are being explained EASILY. Many of them are things I had no idea weren't normal until now, because although I enjoy the company of others I probably wasn't noticing their body language. And not noticing my not noticing, ad infinitum. Hahaha. You're most likely right that it shows up differently in many women. I've always been hyper-empathetic, but I react to feelings more than a person's situation. Have you experienced this at all?



Chama
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19 Oct 2010, 4:18 pm

Pamo: Thanks! That's my plan, because my current psychiatrist is much too intimidating for me to bring it up, and I'm sure she'd ignore the idea anyway. And I'll remember that, thanks! When I find a new doctor, I'll bring it up right away as the reason I've come to see them. Nice to meet you!



yellowtamarin
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19 Oct 2010, 4:28 pm

Welcome, Chama! I'm also in a similar position to you, though I've never actually been diagnosed with anything. But it certainly has been a relief to discover that I am quite close to having AS.

theWanderer wrote:
...if you view yourself as an aspie, and things make sense that didn't before, then you probably are.

Words of wisdom.

Chama wrote:
I've always been hyper-empathetic, but I react to feelings more than a person's situation. Have you experienced this at all?

Not sure if this is what you mean, but I find myself getting quite emotional these days watching scenes in movies etc. or even TV ads where there are strong emotions involved. It's the "vibe" of what I'm seeing, rather than the actual scenario - like it could be a kid who's upset that his toy got broken, and the devastation really affects me, but if I think about it logically it's nothing to have such empathic concern about. Is that kind of what you mean?



Pamo
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19 Oct 2010, 4:38 pm

Any doctor who intimidates you is not the doctor you need to see for this type of stuff. You need someone you can trust and be open and honest with. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and ask questions. You are a very important person. any doctor who won't take the time to listen to what you have to say is not worth your time or your money.

Take care!



Chama
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19 Oct 2010, 4:49 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Chama wrote:
I've always been hyper-empathetic, but I react to feelings more than a person's situation. Have you experienced this at all?

Not sure if this is what you mean, but I find myself getting quite emotional these days watching scenes in movies etc. or even TV ads where there are strong emotions involved. It's the "vibe" of what I'm seeing, rather than the actual scenario - like it could be a kid who's upset that his toy got broken, and the devastation really affects me, but if I think about it logically it's nothing to have such empathic concern about. Is that kind of what you mean?


It's a little bit what I mean... I can empathize with others' emotions without understanding the cause of the emotions. If something has upset someone terribly and the reason they are upset makes no sense to me, I can still respond with empathy because I sense how they are feeling. The feelings are separate from their cause. It's hard to explain because I don't use a person's body language to know what emotion they feel. My -own- body language is usually, to others, inappropriate for what I'm feeling.

It makes it impossible for me to get into an argument. It overwhelms me and I shut down into an unresponsive staring spell.
I'm not sure if this even makes any sense, and it's probably more appropriate for another topic at this point, anyway... haha.

It's nice to meet you~ :]



yellowtamarin
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19 Oct 2010, 5:01 pm

Ah, I see what you are saying. If you haven't already, you might like to listen to this interview with Tony Attwood about females with AS, he talks about being overly-attuned to the emotions of others.

In other news, I love The Last Unicorn! The book is even better. :D



Chama
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19 Oct 2010, 5:12 pm

Pamo: I completely agree! I've heard she's nice to others, so for some reason she just doesn't like me, I think. I'm not going to go back to her.


yellowtamarin: Oh, thanks! I'll have a look at it!

Ahhhh The Last Unicorn! I love the book, too! There are lines in there that make my eyes tear up. I got to meet Peter Beagle this year! He had a showing of the movie in the Victoria Theatre here in San Francisco. I felt awkward because I wanted him to know how much I admired him, but I didn't want to sound creepy, and I ended up hovering near him at the autograph table for a long time and kind of staring. He was really, really nice. I wish I would have said something, because inside I was freaking out. I wanted him to know that I've watched and read The Last Unicorn about ten times a year since I was two years old. Maybe it's better that I didn't say anything hahaha.

Did you know there's a comic now, too? I only have the first issue, but the art is -beautiful-!



yellowtamarin
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19 Oct 2010, 5:23 pm

I'd have just walked up to him and said "The sea is always good." hehe

I didn't know there was a comic, will have to check that out.



glider18
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19 Oct 2010, 9:06 pm

Hi Chalma, it's nice to meet you too. After my diagnosis of AS, I was able to learn so much about myself from the WrongPlanet. Even though you are not sure if you have AS or not, you too can benefit by the forums here. There are plenty of forums that address the issues you have discussed. I wish you the best as you begin this process of discovery here at the WrongPlanet.


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CockneyRebel
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19 Oct 2010, 10:05 pm

A very special Welkome to WrongPlanet, with a K.

The WP Kink


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Chama
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20 Oct 2010, 9:57 pm

Thanks! I'm really glad to be here.



richie
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21 Oct 2010, 3:09 pm

Image
To WrongPlanet!! !Image


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