Need some guidance/think my 2 year old grandson is an aspie

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I found this site hoping to find some guidance. I arrived from out-of-state to help my daughter who is expecting her second child. She has a 2 year old. I just met him for the first time a few weeks ago. I am living in the home with him, his mother/my daughter, and her husband/his father.

My grandson is a remarkable 2 year old. He seems impressive to people because of his recitation of numbers and sometimes simple addition skills. I don't know if ZZ is actually gifted. His early training may just have given him, as soon as he could say a few words, specific series of words to fixate on - like reciting numbers, lining up his number or letter sets for hours on end. Nothing gets his attention unless it is in his narrow range of things he fixates on. He doesn't like new things introduced as a rule, but if he does, he will add that to his small list of fixations. He fits pretty much all the indicators, like talking to himself for hours as he plays alone, completely oblivious to his surroundings, food/eating issues, no eye contact with others except his parents, and that seldom, complete lack of the sharing activity which is typical of this age for neurotypical children who are probably looking for validation of their interest in the thing being shown/shared, but not him, repetitive movements of his body in addition to the repetitive strings of words or numbers - and many other things I've read about AS - they are all present with ZZ. The social disconnect he exhibits concerns me. While he seems happiest occupying and talking by himself for hours and hours, there are times he seems lonely to me but doesn't seem to understand what it is he needs (social interaction) or how to ask for it.

His parents think ZZ's ability with numbers and reading words of 4-6 letters is normal for all children if they got training as infants like they gave ZZ. I should add that ZZ just turned 2 years old about 3 weeks ago and has been doing simple reading, counting (to 11 or 100 or a thousand), simple addition, some subtraction, for many months.

I don't know whether to approach the subject directly with them or not. I tend to think it's OK to have a different cognitive style from most. If that is so, and since there is no real treatment for Asperger's, is an early diagnosis a good, bad or neutral thing to have? Would it help his parents if they knew? Would it help ZZ if they understood?

And - what happens when my granddaughter is born. They are going to expect her to be 'smart' like ZZ - they are convinced it is early education. I'm thinking this early 'education' in numbers just gave him his first 'series' to fixate on - because that's what he does. Even his parents realize it's fixation.

I find lots of information about autism and AS, but don't see where there are any programs or services specifically geared to the needs of people with neuro-atypical patterns. There's another question - can neurotypical people come up with programs and resources that fit the bill for neuro-atypical people? How could we know, even if well-educated in the subject? Shouldn't such things be set up by like-minded people?

Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. And please forgive me for inadvertent insensitivities. I'm in new ground here and may need clueing-in. I'll learn. Thanks, WowLi

Being able to read and recite numbers at such a young age is not part of the diagnostic criteria of AS.

In fact, more often than not, people with AS are rather horrible with numbers. People with HFA tend to be better with them.

As for his parents perception that all children would be advanced in those areas at his age with the proper education, this isn't the case.

We are all born with a certain intellectual potential, and most people in the world do not rise to that potential for various reason. Even children who are raised in very intellectually nurturing environments. We also have different rates of development. Some children develop quickly young and slow down and their peers catch up. Some children develop slowly but eventually catch up to, or exceed their peers. Many people who were considered child prodigies fall into the former category, and some, but not all adult geniuses into the later category. Omnibus geniuses (which are rare) usually had very rapid early development that did not stop or slow down much as they aged. There is likely a very biological component to them that gives them their intellectual abilities and most of us just never had that potential.

I'm not the stupidest person in the world, but I'm not the smartest either. When I was two my mother would try to sit down with me and teach me and try to teach me a few things and I wouldn't have any of it. It's not that I couldn't understand what she was trying to teach me, but I did not have the patience level for it. I stressed easy and had to be left to myself a lot and do my own thing. I wasn't interested, so even though I had the actual potential to retain the information she was trying to teach me at that time, I didn't utilize it.

I doubt this really had much of an impact on my intelligence as an adult, however. Now the medications I was forced to take as a child, and the school district, that's a different story.

Welcome aboard the Wrong Planet, WowLi. You may wish to check out WP's Parents’ Discussion Forum: http://www.wrongplanet.net/forum19.html The good people there may also be able to offer you some guidance and sincere advice.

Asperger's is not associated with giftedness. The child in question could be gifted and have Asperger's, but it is a stereotype. I struggle with basic math and have an average IQ.

If the child has aspergers and is gifted, then there's even more reason to get good help. At two, there's still a chance to give him a better start in life.

I learned to read at two, but that was back in the fifties. An aspergers diagnosis was still half a century into the future.

Thanks for the replies so far. I need more, but have gotten some help from the first 5. I edited my original post to be more specific about the symptoms ZZ exhibits that makes me think AS in the first place. I have not listed all his AS-like behaviors. If what I've written is not enough, let me know and I'll be more specific with the rest.

Hoping to hear from more folks. Thanks loads.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

The WP Kink

What you have described to me is classic spectrum behaviour, and I know many many people with aspergers who love and thrive on numbers. Everyone on the spectrum has specific obsessive interests and I know of many for whom numbers are this for them. I have high functioning autism and also thrive on numbers. I was adding and subracting and doing all sorts of maths before I started school, but I could still not read picture books when I was in 5th grade!! ! I have way above average intelligence and now read all the time, but it was something that took we ages to learn, I did not want to, I struggled with language and would much prefer to just play with numbers.

While there is no "cure" there are programs in place that can help him to cope in the typical world, to learn social skills, to learn to cope better with change, to learn to have a more varied diet, etc, etc. Early diagnosis does help. No you cannot cure someone on the spectrum, you cannot make them normal, but you can help there lives in an alien world so to speak and more supported and that they can learn the skills needed to cope in that world. At the same time, all young children do go through various fazes of not wanting to try new things, etc, etc, but you do need to try to work out if there is an issue, because to be honest there are many things about him that would be concerning to me. The most important thing is that he is healthy, happy and loved, but will that be enough when he enters the schoolyard and has to deal with so many hundreds of other kids that have no concpet at all of why the only thing he wants to do is to play with numbers, when he struggles to partake in group work at school and the like. While being intellectually gifted is all well and fine if anything it makes life more difficult for me, as people cannot comprehend that I struggle with so many basic things when intellectually there is no limit to what I can do.

I would also agree that posting in the parents forum area will give you more information. Many of the parents only post in that area and they are the best ones to asist you. They are dealing with it from an adult perspective, whereas we are looking at it from our own perspectives, many of whom were not diagnosed until an adult.

From my perspective a diagnosis can only help him and his parents, but you do need to get them to agree to it.

Welcome to WP!