Bipolar aspie new to this whole dealio

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techmek
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29 Oct 2011, 4:30 pm

Diagnosed recently as Aspergers and Bipolar II, both mild. On one hand it's a huge relief (this started when I finally sought help for concentration problems wrecking my life a year ago) but on the other, it's... well... hard to accept. Also the idea of medication altering my brain chemistry irrevocably terrifies me, but I've also come to realize that in my case, I won't be able to live the life I want/need without some sort of strong external aid, and I hate hate HATE the feeling of being low-energy.

I haven't really accepted the diagnosis and I was kind of hoping it was all a mistake or "just a phase", but a lot of the descriptions/posts here resonate strongly with me. Logically I refuse to be in denial, but I'm aware I'm hugely uncomfortable with... everything to do with this. I've been pretty chill with the idea of being different (that's never been a doubt, weirdness runs in my family) but there's a subtle difference between "mental illness" and being quirky.

I don't know, is this sense of unease common when people first get diagnosed? How does one come to terms with being Aspie and/or BP? Do you tell/warn your friends?



John_Browning
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29 Oct 2011, 7:59 pm

You can be fairly open about AS, but be extremely cautious about who you tell about bipolar disorder. Most people hear a lot of bad things about it in the news (especially celebrities behaving badly) or know someone bipolar who was a thorn in their side and will associate you with that. When it comes to making peace with your diagnosis, the label does not define you; it is a guideline to help determine the course of your treatment. Like Aspergers, your case of bipolar disorder is going to have substantial differences compared to others.


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Angel_ryan
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29 Oct 2011, 9:24 pm

Not very many people come to terms with an MI DX. I like to talk about the Aspie one with my friends but when it comes to the other I often cringe when I end up having to disclose it even in close relationship settings. Even the closest most comforting person in my life I still have trouble talking to openly about it. He loves writers, and most of his own personal heroes have my DX but I still struggle to except it. I don't like the idea of my brain being broken when all I want to be is myself. Between AS and the other I feel trapped. I just want to be me. I don't want to have to take meds to be able to function I just want to be normal in that regard.



jackbus01
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29 Oct 2011, 11:24 pm

I also have aspergers and bipolar. I would search the forum. There have been a lot of threads on this.



jackbus01
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29 Oct 2011, 11:31 pm

John_Browning wrote:
You can be fairly open about AS, but be extremely cautious about who you tell about bipolar disorder. Most people hear a lot of bad things about it in the news (especially celebrities behaving badly) or know someone bipolar who was a thorn in their side and will associate you with that. When it comes to making peace with your diagnosis, the label does not define you; it is a guideline to help determine the course of your treatment. Like Aspergers, your case of bipolar disorder is going to have substantial differences compared to others.


I don't announce it to everyone, but if the topic comes up in conversation, i will talk about either AS or bipolar. If you feel there is a stigma about bipolar disorder, then you should talk about it.



techmek
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31 Oct 2011, 12:22 pm

Thanks for the replies - I'll poke around and see what's been said.

And yeah... I've been wary about telling people irl. Thankfully I have a few long-standing friends who've put up with me vanishing for months at a time and worse, and met me before I suspect it kicked in. Those I've told, most of them said something along the lines of "not really surprised... makes sense" and then continued as normal.

I think it'll be a long time before I'm ok with trying to confront any stigma about it, considering I still have a bit of stigma associated myself. :P

Angel_ryan wrote:
I don't want to have to take meds to be able to function I just want to be normal in that regard.


That's what's been under my skin for the past year -- my psych said that it was likely they'd explore the med option and along with my dx was a recommendation for an off-label prescription.



Paja
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01 Nov 2011, 11:28 am

jackbus01 wrote:
I don't announce it to everyone, but if the topic comes up in conversation, i will talk about either AS or bipolar. If you feel there is a stigma about bipolar disorder, then you should talk about it.


I agree. I don't go out of my way to bring up any of my issues (particularly bipolar), but if it's genuinely relevant to the conversation, I'm not going to hide it.

The idea that people have in their heads of bipolar is of bipolar I, much in the same way that the idea that people have of ASDs is very low-functioning autism. It's good to broaden people's perspectives sometimes.