If someone can relate, please comment

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Hi

To be honest, I'm a little lost in my life right now. I have been snubbed by the doctors so far, but will continue to try......

I am really looking to connect with someone who shares similar traits to me. If anyone is similar or can relate, please comment. I just need a conversation with someone (doctor just nods and says, no NHS specialists in area for diagnosis) Oh well

My traits are:

Constant distraction from conversations
having to live my life in a routine (hating it if something changes once i've planned my day)
Having to turn up to watch a movie at the cinema (for example) early as hate to enter crowded room
do not like to be touched
I am not very good in my relationship as i'm cold toward my girlfriend at times
Not very good at finishing things
I hate complaining and would rather never go back than complain
I love quiteness (books rather than TV) but can't read for more than 2 hours due to distractions
I hate background noise as I cant block it out
I hate the sound of eating
I hate sand on my skin
Never want to talk about my day at work or share my feelings
Don't see my family much as I just never really want too, if i'm honest
I sometimes feel that my head will explode with all the things going on in it
Love coffee, but sometimes it makes my system go mental
Really short fuse (Even with son)
Cannot play games with my son as I get to out of control (aggressive with playing) and get silly (childish)
Need time to myself with no one around to calm my system down and aviod stress
Constantly tap things

The list goes on............

I believe that people with aspergers find it hard to read body language and facial expressions however, i seem to be ok with this.

To be honest, i'm lost and my life is a mess and i even wrote to my local MP who has ignored me.

I have quite a stressful job that is really tough on my symptoms

I'd love to meet people who have similar traits as I need to understand and make my family understand that i'm not like this to be horrible.

I'm not depressed, just need someone to talk to..

Matt (aged 33)

Matt, I can relate to pretty much all of your symptoms except for not liking sand to touch your skin. For me, sand is fine but i can't stand being wet. Being in water feels okay but once I am out, I want my skin totally dry.

Anyway, relationships are really hard for people like us I have found. I am 31 and have been single for a few years now. I don't mind being single as it has been my choice...I get offers for dates frequently. I am just tired of people (men) expecting me to be someone that I am not.

As far as reading facial expressions, I think it is variable. I, for instance, can spot negative emotive expressions in people instantaneously but benign or positive emotions throw me for a loop. Whenever someone smirks or chuckles, I honestly have no idea whether they are laughing with me at a situation or laughing at me for laughing at a situation.

At any rate, you are not alone! (And it sounds like you are likely Aspie like me. )

Matt, you sound a lot like me--at least on the bigger issues. Things like not being able to stand sand on your skin, or loud noise in my case, I think are personal things. I could sleep in sand if it were quiet enough, but that's just me.

I'm not cold toward my girlfriend; If my tone is the least bit gruff, I hear about it:)

I don't like confrontation either, though I refuse to let myself or the organization I run be taken advantage of.

I used to have a hot temper, and still do, but it's a lot easier to control now that I'm older.

I'm actually fairly new to posting in here. I like it. These are people I can understand--at least most of them. I feel confident that if you stick around, you'll find the same to be the case.

FOR GHOSTAR:

"I am just tired of people (men) expecting me to be someone that I am not."

Ghostar, I've never actually met anybody I know for a fact who has AS, much less a female with AS. With this in mind, please tell me what you mean by the above. You've piqued my curiosity.

i have everything you have and even way more but still people don't wanna accept/aknowledge that i have aspergers and it's very frustrating.

Thanks guys for taking the time to reply, I love rea ding about others who have similar issues. In england, specialist help is very difficult to find and I believe that the government and local doctors do not want conditions like ADHD, ADD and Aspergers to become common as that could open the gate for lots of people to suggest that they suffer with these conditions. The reason I feel frustrated at not being taken seriously, is that I have a full time job that can be up to 12hour shifts. I've been in employment since the age of 16 and always paid my taxes and stuff. Now I would like to have something in return to help me out, they shrug their shoulders and say "doors closed". Anyway enough of sounding miserable as I'm really not. I'll keep looking at posts as I'm really enjoying reading them. Take care all and thanks again.

Matt

Thanks guys for taking the time to reply, I love reading about others who have similar issues. In england, specialist help is very difficult to find and I believe that the government and local doctors do not want conditions like ADHD, ADD and Aspergers to become common as that could open the gate for lots of people to suggest that they suffer with these conditions. The reason I feel frustrated at not being taken seriously, is that I have a full time job that can be up to 12hour shifts. I've been in employment since the age of 16 and always paid my taxes and stuff. Now I would like to have something in return to help me out, they shrug their shoulders and say "doors closed". Anyway enough of sounding miserable as I'm really not. I'll keep looking at posts as I'm really enjoying reading them. Take care all and thanks again.

Matt

Matt, have you considered the possibility that you are also suffering from depression? I see a couple of warning signs for that in your original post, as well as markers for Asperger's Syndrome, and depression can be pretty dangerous.
I can totally relate by the way. To all of it.

To be honest, I have considered it but I live my life in a way that keeps me on a certain balance (books, space from most people and slowly going through my day, apart from at work!!). Anger and frustration especially at work seems to be getting stronger. I believe that's because of the stress of the job. Being a boss with these traits as I'm sure you understand can be overwhelming and stressful. I would discuss this with a professional but as I said, at the moment I simply am being ignored and pushed to the side. Thanks for asking, and also for saying that you relate to my symptoms. I would like to hear your story if you would being willing to tell me? Send me a personal message if you would like too! Thanks again

Matt

What I mean is that I look like something very different from what I am. I look very much like a vapid, mall-roaming, make-up wearing socialite. (To be fair, I do love make-up and study up on the current fashions so that i can fit in at least physically at work and in social circles.)

I actually am, on the other hand, a uber-nerdy engineer that is into video games, history, astonomy, target shooting, philosophy, crop circles, et cetera. Also, I am really intelligent but women that share my phenotypical looks i.e. green eyes, blonde hair, small build, do not often exude intelligence or intense interest in academic topics.

For this reason, many men that are interested in me are, in reality, interested in a somewhat 2-dimensional projection of me. The reality of who I am seems to either anger or frighten most of them...or worse, they simply believe that I am "fake" and untrustworthy. The latter is actually a frequent response to me by men and women.

I hope this makes sense.

I can empathize with a lot that's being discussed in this thread--especially directly above. I'm a fairly attractive male in my earlier twenty-somethings and my social life is surrounded by many acquaintances (one of my few friends introduced me/instigates my interaction with this/these group(s)) who for the most part work shifts at coffee houses/restaurants, as freelance artists, generally low-income (we're young), drink really heavily, are generally permiscuous blah blah. On the outside I'm a grundgy, lanky artist-type, but I've had loads of experiences where I start to get close to certain people and when they figure out that I'm an intellectual super-geek (software engineer) they totally back off, start watching what they say around me, and generally get oddly suspicious of my motives. And while I receive moderately-high attention from girls, when the alcohol wears off...

And Morph, I totally feel you. Specific similarities... really difficult to concentrate on discussions (if there's a television in the room, better turn it off), I've been misinterpreted countless times, it's hard for me to open up and talk to anybody I haven't known for years, I can always tell when something's 'wrong' in a social setting but can't differentiate when people are bored or having a good time, when I drink coffee I break out in sweats/shakes/anxiety shoots thru the roof (started fairly recently, I worked as a barista for 5 years), if I'm not focused on my temper I can say some stupid ill-thought-out things, and when my coworker on the opposite side of my desk starts eating with his mouth open I can't stand it.

I know my father has the same problems, but to a different degree--he is absolutely incapable of empathizing with me on certain emotional levels. Also, I know my previous girlfriend left me out of frustration for the aforementioned personality traits...

You're not alone.

Yep. Acquaintances abound but deep, meaningful relationships are difficult to maintain. Sigh.

Thanks again to everyone who has posted. It feels good to know that there are souls out there who I'm like and are like me

Thanks you're all awesome

Matt