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SavageMessiah
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Joined: 16 Aug 2012
Age: 42
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Posts: 202
Location: Pittsburgh, PA, US

19 Aug 2012, 3:39 am

Hello!

I'm a 30 year old steel worker from Pittsburgh, PA, US.

By education I'm an information scientist with a minor in computer science. I have been continuously employed in some capacity for 21 years. As far as physical work, I can "get it" with the best of them. By nature, I need to learn everything about what I do, so nothing is left to question and so that I can outperform others. Of course, things I do not like or catch on to, I abandon (HA!). I've had extreme difficulty in social settings for most of my life, especially once all of my close friends moved away when I was young, leaving me unable to solidify new ones for the last 20 years. I always chalked it up to being too busy or simple bad luck, but that would begin to change.

The funny part is, I had no idea there was an Asperger/HFA end of the spectrum at all until I was about 27, which was already 5 years out of college, unable to land a job in my field, and pretty well buried in debt. I saw a contestant on America's Next Top Model had it, as well as some nerdy kid on the TV drama DeGrassi. As I looked up more information, I've found there were actual names and explanations for just about all of my "weird" behaviors over the years! At that point I felt a bit cheated, since I suddenly fell into a large group of people with extremely similar symptoms, when I originally thought I was just a lone introverted guy with a set of bad habits that no one liked (maybe the former IS better?!)

By all paper definitions, I am living the dream. I've been married for 5 years, bought a house at 25, have 2 cars, and 3 pets. But as many Aspies know, there are all too many voids and blocks in my personal/social life.

Like many, I've instinctively developed many tricks and routines to get around my shortfalls, but they're only enough to keep me from situations where I might freeze, panic, or get angry/upset. This year, however, I have chosen to face my shortcomings head-on, as I hope to have some social future, and solidify my marriage as my wife is urging me to seek treatment.

I have not been diagnosed yet, but I keep reading personal experiences, and there is just one parallel to my life after the next. It is very emotional. But on the whole I think we are strong people, and I'm much more proud than ashamed.


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CrystalStars
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19 Aug 2012, 3:42 am

Welcome to WP!


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Domisoldo
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19 Aug 2012, 6:30 am

SavageMessiah wrote:
I have not been diagnosed yet, but I keep reading personal experiences, and there is just one parallel to my life after the next. It is very emotional. But on the whole I think we are strong people, and I'm much more proud than ashamed.


Hi! I'm also new here, and I don't know if I'm an Aspie or not... What you wrote moved me. I just wanted to tell you.



SavageMessiah
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Joined: 16 Aug 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 202
Location: Pittsburgh, PA, US

19 Aug 2012, 4:10 pm

Thank you, and you're welcome! I wouldn't have written that if I didn't think it might help in some way. It's contagious, isn't it? I was moved by what people have written, so on and so forth...

I've had all this pent up energy for years, and until recently had nowhere to get my thoughts and opinions out on these subjects. It has felt like a big relief so far.

Ultimately, I suppose most of us have not a whole lot to lose and everything to gain by sharing and relating here. So why the heck not?!


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CockneyRebel
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19 Aug 2012, 6:11 pm

Welkome to WP

MickImage


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