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Prof_Pretorius
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02 Jan 2007, 12:50 pm

Welcome to WP ! !! Yew might check out BazzaMcKenzie as to having a fellow Aussie to message. He's lurking around here somewhere's.

As to tourists ! ! I live in Phoenix Arizona, USA, and commute everday to Scottsdale. Everywhere I go, there's tourists. Nice they drop by to help the local merchants, but the traffic gets on my nerves. Funny though, to hear someone from far away ask directions from someone who just moved here and hasn't a clue. Also odd to go somewhere like the Grand Canyon, and see people from Japan, Germany, England, and so on. They're as interesting as the sights ! !!


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imaginif
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02 Jan 2007, 4:40 pm

Hi Prof
can you sometimes cope with the tourists? My son seems to cope so well one day, even approaches people and chats merrirly away but then the next he puts his hands over his ears, melts down and refuses to leave the house.
Like you, my son loves the diversity of cultures. He finds it interresting and people watches to the max..but...if he's had enough, we all pay for the sin of living in a glorious place on earth.


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Prof_Pretorius
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02 Jan 2007, 6:10 pm

I have to be careful how much interaction I have. The Missus and I schedule where and when we go somewhere, or it's just too much ! !! I imagine your son overdoes it with talking to people, while he's feeling good, but hasn't learned that point where he's done too much talking. It's something you learn over time, and with experience. I know how much chatting I'm comfotable with, and past that I just burn out. So when we go somewhere, I spend time being quiet, enjoying the sights, and saving up my energy for socializing.

Hope that makes sense???


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imaginif
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03 Jan 2007, 12:27 am

That makes perfect sense Prof. Thank you. How can I help him to learn the point of "enough"? While we were on holidays recently he was excellent. He took himself away from situations when they overloaded him but your idea of pre resting and recognising that you need to rest speaks to me.
Think back to when you were an 11 year old boy. What would have been helpful to you then?


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Flagg
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03 Jan 2007, 2:49 am

Well, when needed release I turned to my violin. (I learned to play guitar at 13 so maybe that to) but that's $$$ and it would only work if your son is a VERY auditory aspie. Could also use his favorite songs (We don't mind the same song over and over again, in fact it's very relaxing.)

If he's visual then I think drawing in a quiet place would help.



Rory
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03 Jan 2007, 4:46 am

Welcome to WP. I'm a fellow Aussie. There are a few of us around. I'm in Melbourne. I'd swap for Cairns if I could! :D



imaginif
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03 Jan 2007, 5:13 am

Hi fellow Aussie. It's good to see that there are a few of us here. I completely understand wanting to swap Melbourne for Cairns. I lived in Sydney for a short while and will never go back to living in big cities (I also lived in London recently - now that was BIG!).

Flagg, thanks for the guitar and music tips for relaxation. Boy constantly plays Crazy Frog and it seems to calm him. We bought him a portable CD player for Christmas so he can play his music during the night. He had violin lessons and is interested in playing the guitar but he never seems to stick to anything (except for World of WarCraft).

Poor little bugger. Sometimes he begs us to help him sleep and relax. I keep doing things until they no longer work and then I struggle to find something new.

Touch wood - he's sleeping well at the moment. Last night he slept for 10 hrs 1 minute and 35 seconds (he set his stop watch as falling asleep - how Aspergers is that!! !! !! !!).

We've has a minor blow up tonight about him not being Aspergers. He has a real stigma attached to it. Is this symptomatic of an 11 year old with Aspergers or is it a reflection of me being such an open parent desperate to give him the best I can?


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Quasimodo
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03 Jan 2007, 6:39 am

imaginif wrote:
We've has a minor blow up tonight about him not being Aspergers. He has a real stigma attached to it. Is this symptomatic of an 11 year old with Aspergers or is it a reflection of me being such an open parent desperate to give him the best I can?


Hi.

Perhaps your son feels overprotected -- he feels like you're trying to help him more than he needs?

Maybe he realizes you are desperate to give him the best... but he'd like you to be a bit less desperate.

Perhaps a yearning for independence is symptomatic of 11 year olds in general, whether they have Asperger's or not...

I'm an Australian too, by the way, a Sydney sider.

I am a middle aged person who only recently began to see how the strengths and weaknesses I grew up with fit with the concept of Asperger's Syndrome.

Best wishes
Quasimodo



imaginif
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03 Jan 2007, 6:55 am

Another Aussie. We're every where. Your post gave me a chuckle Quasimodo. I know I'm over protective and desperate and so keen to get it right. I HATE the melt downs. I read somewhere that the melt downs are worse for the sufferer than for the supporters. They must be just dreadful for my son then.

Anyway, I'm for bed.



mummadisaster
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04 Jan 2007, 11:38 am

Hi there, I'm a fellow Aussie as well.

I too have a brilliant aspie son, who is 10 years old but has the maturity of a 5 year old! Life is not easy but it is never boring!!

My son was officially dx'd in 2004, he still hates having AS and all he wants to be is "normal". It is a constant struggle to build up his self esteem, even though he is so knowledgable and advanced in so many ways - it's his social skills and behaviour (anxiety) that lets him down, oh and he is a little behind in anger management!!

Does your son suffer from anxiety?? Whilst I was fortunate not to ever have this problem, my son has it in spades, and are now (after much opposition to the concept) considering medication to help him with this. He is still having behavioural therapy and occupational therapy, and none of this has been particularly beneficial. It's going to be the day from hell when he starts taking meds, as he is already very anxious about taking them.

Anyway this is about you not me, so welcome :)

I came across this site by chance, and have learned so much from the posts here - it's a relief to find like minded people here who experience life like I do, as I am an aspie too.

Jus



imaginif
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04 Jan 2007, 4:41 pm

Hi Jus
Yes, my son has very high anxiety. It's much worse than the Aspergers. We're trying to stay away from medication but somedays, if we had it, I'd take it!! !! !! !

Interesting that you son hates the Aspergers label. My boy just won't have a bar of it. We have no problem with it - we're actually pleased that we finally have a diagnosis.

He flips out if he hears me tell anyone he has Aspergers and I REFUSE to play the secret game. He's also very anxious around the home schooling thing. He thinks he's going to be seen as a lesser mortal.

Where abouts in Oz are you? We adore where we live in Cairns but by gee it's HOT at the moment.

I also have found all the forums and posts incredibly helpful - especially speaking with adults who have Aspergers. Their perspective is more valued to me than the advise from all the professionals. I've added this site to my favorites list on our Home School Aspergers blog. I hope that if there's any other struggling parents or people with Aspergers that they will join this site and find themselves some relief.


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Laura
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04 Jan 2007, 8:39 pm

G'day neighbour to the north west.


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imaginif
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04 Jan 2007, 9:30 pm

G'day Kiwi neighbour to the south. It's good to see that the Southern Hemisphere is so well represented here.


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Quasimodo
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05 Jan 2007, 6:56 am

Hello imaginif.

imaginif wrote:
He flips out if he hears me tell anyone he has Aspergers and I REFUSE to play the secret game.


I'd feel like flipping out, too.

Why say something that could bring harm or even difficulty to someone you love?

Is "game" the right word?

Yours,
Quasimodo


imaginif wrote:
Hi Jus
Yes, my son has very high anxiety. It's much worse than the Aspergers. We're trying to stay away from medication but somedays, if we had it, I'd take it!! !! !! !

Interesting that you son hates the Aspergers label. My boy just won't have a bar of it. We have no problem with it - we're actually pleased that we finally have a diagnosis.

He flips out if he hears me tell anyone he has Aspergers and I REFUSE to play the secret game. He's also very anxious around the home schooling thing. He thinks he's going to be seen as a lesser mortal.

Where abouts in Oz are you? We adore where we live in Cairns but by gee it's HOT at the moment.

I also have found all the forums and posts incredibly helpful - especially speaking with adults who have Aspergers. Their perspective is more valued to me than the advise from all the professionals. I've added this site to my favorites list on our Home School Aspergers blog. I hope that if there's any other struggling parents or people with Aspergers that they will join this site and find themselves some relief.



Quasimodo
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05 Jan 2007, 7:02 am

Hello imaginif.

imaginif wrote:
He flips out if he hears me tell anyone he has Aspergers and I REFUSE to play the secret game.


I'd feel like flipping out, too.

Why say something that could bring harm or even difficulty to someone you love?

Is "game" the right word?

Yours,
Quasimodo


imaginif wrote:
Hi Jus
Yes, my son has very high anxiety. It's much worse than the Aspergers. We're trying to stay away from medication but somedays, if we had it, I'd take it!! !! !! !

Interesting that you son hates the Aspergers label. My boy just won't have a bar of it. We have no problem with it - we're actually pleased that we finally have a diagnosis.

He flips out if he hears me tell anyone he has Aspergers and I REFUSE to play the secret game. He's also very anxious around the home schooling thing. He thinks he's going to be seen as a lesser mortal.

Where abouts in Oz are you? We adore where we live in Cairns but by gee it's HOT at the moment.

I also have found all the forums and posts incredibly helpful - especially speaking with adults who have Aspergers. Their perspective is more valued to me than the advise from all the professionals. I've added this site to my favorites list on our Home School Aspergers blog. I hope that if there's any other struggling parents or people with Aspergers that they will join this site and find themselves some relief.



Prof_Pretorius
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05 Jan 2007, 8:28 am

Imaginif, do tell us about your advocacy blogspot website ???! !!


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I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke