Occasional lurker turned member

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I've been debating seeing someone about a dx for about a year now. I built up the courage to call for an appointment last summer and the wait was 8 months, so I declined. Perhaps I should mention it to my general practitioner. He'll probably just say "You don't have aspergers" along with a little eye roll... exactly what one of my friends did when my husband told her he thought I had it. He says I "go mute" when we leave the house. Crowded or social situations make my brain stop functioning properly... like I'm in a fog. It's not intentional. It's also not a problem normally because I don't desire attending social functions, so it's not like I'm missing out. Though it does occasionally cause problems.

Many years ago, I accepted myself for who I am. I've been called "weird" a lot. Who would have thought I'd ever find a forum of people that I share so many traits with. Anyway, glad to meet you all!

hi from another aspie without an oficial diagnosis.

greetings from the uk, I was diagnosed when I was 9 even tho I was not told until recently . would hate to think what it would feel like to have to find out myself that I have AS by asking the doc myself.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome. Whether or not you have autism, you are welcome here!

Thank you for the welcome. Feeling really isolated lately and reading here has helped.

A sweet welcome to WPea!

It's not easy to tell people the reason's I believe I have Asperger's... especially considering the 37 years I've spent just trying to be normal, accepted, and liked. I've failed miserably at all three. Over a year ago, my husband and I were watching a movie about a guy with Asperger's. I don't remember the name of the movie, but anyway, my husband kept saying "You do that!" over and over... and then the guy hit himself in the head and yes... I do that. The more I read, the more it confirms my suspicions.

When I was a child, I had few friends. I felt like there was something wrong with me as long as I can remember. My parents would yell at me asking me why I did this or that, and I would just stand there... the answer racing through my head but not coming out my mouth. That still happens sometimes even today, mostly when I know that no matter what I say it won't make a difference. I hear their unsaid responses to my unsaid statements, the whole conversation, I know how it ends... so why waste the breath?

In 4th grade, my grades severely went down hill even though I was quite smart. When I was 11 and in 7th grade, I was kicked out of my school because the teachers couldn't keep me in the classroom. When the kids or teacher would start on me, my heart would race, and I had to go... get out of there... fight or flight, I guess. My next school wasn't any better. Became a teen mom at 15. I dropped out of high school just a few weeks into 11th grade. Scored 285 out of 300 on my GED and then got my associates degree where I was always on dean's list and a member of Phi Theta Kappa.

I worked for a pizza shop for 7 years. I enjoyed the people I worked with and I actually fit in. After that, I worked a few other jobs, nothing that lasted more than a couple months. I Haven't been out in the work force in 11 years now, though I do earn a little online. I don't leave the house often. My family life is good. I only have 2 friends and relationships with extended family are non-existent.

I suppose all of that could be chalked up to any number of psychological issues... except... I dig my skin, dig my nails into my palms, rub my hands, twist back and forth, wear jeans and a hoodie every day, avoid foods because of texture, can't stand quiet repetitive noises (this is a huge one, we moved out of our last place two months before our lease was up because the heat hummed and drove me insane. Leaving early cost us $2800 in rent to buy out our lease for time we weren't there.), I pick up people's accents (embarrassing, especially since I recognize that I do it and try not to), can't be in crowded places because my brain stops working, cars with loud bass makes my heart race, I don't believe in excuses and think everyone should be responsible for themselves, can't stand it when people don't follow the rules, prefer educational shows to sitcoms, prefer reading educational things to stories, hobbies! It'd be safe to say my hobby is throwing myself 100% into new hobbies. My husband is so supportive of this because he's great... and of course, I have done the hit myself in the head thing. Over the past 5 or 6 years, I've been much better at avoiding meltdowns though.

Well, that's the condensed version of my life story. I'm sure I missed a few things, but that's the gist of it. I'm not unhappy with who I am and over the years, I've shaped my surroundings into a comfortable life. I don't know what the benefit of an official diagnosis would be... maybe I could learn some skills to function better outside of my bubble. The only complaint I have is sometimes I do get lonely and wish I had more of a social life. After a social situation, things play in my head for days and day... things I wish I hadn't said, done, etc... things people said to me that I wonder how I should take it.