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dgd1788
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26 Feb 2007, 6:36 pm

My brother sometimes does this; what I mean by ostracizing for being yourself is they exclude you because they think you are just to show off your knowledge. It irritates me because I am just being myself; I have gotten better with my intellect and intelligence, what I want people to see is that I am not trying to show off my knowledge or be manipulative. How many aspies intentionally manipulate people?


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27 Feb 2007, 12:32 pm

In a world of dogs, in a world of human instinct, all is manipulation. If we fought over it, there would be one person left, so we posture. The lowest use force, bullies, the next level is the other side of the coin, exclusion.

Slightly higher are those who will interact with you, so they can put you down. Emotional bullies.

Some can only play this game in groups, mini-gangs, that bait people into social interaction, so they can reject them, as a microculture.

They all seek to fill a lack in themselves.

If someone calls you their friend, it is because they are getting something out of the deal. You are being used, a position most crave. The other side is to be useless.

Two can fit in the pack dominance pecking order, near equals, which is where most "Friendships" form, and there will still be a leader, and a follower, because we are wired that way.

People who do not fit other groups, tend to form odd pairs, combined, they can have more range than equals. Of Mice and Men, is a classic. The small and smart, relating to the dangerously big and dumb. Both have their problems with life. Each brings something to the team.

If you were not so smart, others would not feel so inferior.

I am in the top range, have sixty years of study behind me, have mastered many subjects, through talent, hard work, obsession. I have been in IT since punchcards, worked on everything since flat head Fords, and become every technology I have seen.

I had problems and doubts, worked to overcome them, self help all the way. Finally, I discover WP, the lights come up, all is suddenly clear, it is not just me, I have a tribe!

It has been liberating. If I were to state my worst experience on WP, the person who upsets me by their existance, if Member Bashing was allowed, it would be that dgd1788.

Having struggled through a long life, made it through determined effort, and a great natural talent, and then I discover this "kid," who makes me feel inferior. He is not just better than me, I learn from better minds, he is so far above me, I could never reach his ability.

I do not mind the feeling in the music section, I have no talent, no interest there, but this is my field, I, The Alpha Techno Geek, feel inferior.

You are not just annoying you brother and his friends, not just your high school, city, State, you annoy a Silverback Alpha Techno Geek with Scorpio Biker Syndrom, Demonic Posession, a Bull Goose Looney, who developed the world you were so recently born into.

If it was not for the fact that I can ride the coolest motorcycle ever made, and come beat you up,

If it was not for the fact that I can exclude you from the biker machine head tribe,

If it was not for the fact that I can manipulate your mind and use it against you,

I would feel totally inferior, but as it is, only your Knowledge, your smartass seperation of Intellect from Intelligence, make me feel like a complete loser.

I hope this answers your question, the only thing I enjoy about you is your misery.

You make me feel like Lenny.

Go hang out with Stephan Hawkings, he is your Lenney, but he can not beat you up, watch out for the wheels.



postpaleo
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01 Mar 2007, 7:26 am

dgd1788 wrote:
I have gotten better with my intellect and intelligence, what I want people to see is that I am not trying to show off my knowledge or be manipulative. How many aspies intentionally manipulate people?


I see two questions here. I'll give my thoughts on the last first. It is my nature, I'm very often back asswards. I don't like cookbooks either.

Can I manipulate? Yup. Do I intentionaly manipulate? Yup. Is it good or is it evil? I don't think those two things exist. Is it good or is it bad? Yup. Are you a good witch or are you a bad witch? I dunno, but I do know I'm a still a witch.

What I want people to see? Talk nice things about someone and they will listen for hours. Talk about yourself and they'll be gone as soon as they can find an excuse. Find a common ground and it might be plesant for both. How do I find a common ground? I hold up a mirror. I drop my mask for just long enough for them to relate to something in me that they can relate to in themselves. You might hear "wow, I can relate to that" the words will be different but listen for it. Listening, it is not any easy thing to do sometimes. If you listen you might hear the mirror in them. Relax, enjoy their little show, when you see the equalizer, then it's time to open it up, join the show. Sometimes there is no equalizer, then I just grin and move on. Well, that's how I do it, there are other ways too. It get's easier to do as you get older, or better put, as you practice. I'd rather watch the show anyways, maybe because I like lazy.

I was on a walk with my Dad. All of a sudden he said listen. I said Dad I don't hear anything. He then said rather sternly LISTEN. Then I heard it. It was silence. I was so caught up in my own brain words, I hadn't even noticed there wasn't a sound. Complete silence. It's easy to talk, it isn't easy to listen.

Did I just manipulate you?



9CatMom
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01 Mar 2007, 10:08 am

I have learned to keep my interests to myself so people don't think I'm strange, unless it is cats and animals. I'm not ashamed of my love for cats. Luckily, I have several places where I can freely talk about cats.



OddCoyote
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01 Mar 2007, 6:34 pm

dgd1788 wrote:
My brother sometimes does this; what I mean by ostracizing for being yourself is they exclude you because they think you are just to show off your knowledge. It irritates me because I am just being myself; I have gotten better with my intellect and intelligence, what I want people to see is that I am not trying to show off my knowledge or be manipulative. How many aspies intentionally manipulate people?


Im manipulative.


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dgd1788
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01 Mar 2007, 7:37 pm

OddCoyote wrote:
dgd1788 wrote:
My brother sometimes does this; what I mean by ostracizing for being yourself is they exclude you because they think you are just to show off your knowledge. It irritates me because I am just being myself; I have gotten better with my intellect and intelligence, what I want people to see is that I am not trying to show off my knowledge or be manipulative. How many aspies intentionally manipulate people?


Im manipulative.


Why do you manipulate others?


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OddCoyote
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01 Mar 2007, 7:44 pm

dgd1788 wrote:
OddCoyote wrote:
dgd1788 wrote:
My brother sometimes does this; what I mean by ostracizing for being yourself is they exclude you because they think you are just to show off your knowledge. It irritates me because I am just being myself; I have gotten better with my intellect and intelligence, what I want people to see is that I am not trying to show off my knowledge or be manipulative. How many aspies intentionally manipulate people?


Im manipulative.


Why do you manipulate others?


It has to do with my personality I guess out of my neurological state. I enjoy molding other people with my help. This might help a bit. Im not sure though.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ic&t=26475


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catsarenice
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02 Mar 2007, 9:27 am

I used to be the same way, but its really a turn-off and buzzkill to other people/friends that don't do the same thing.

Let me put it this way, .. lets say talking about football absolutely disgusts you (if football doesn't, think of another sport or topic that .. absolutely disgusts you to even hear people talking about it), thats how people who aren't into talking about intellectual/smart stuff see you. It took me years to adapt, but when I did I ended up with a lot more friends in the longrun.