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babyheart
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02 Sep 2014, 1:45 am

I like hugs, but not having to hug lots of friends & family at get-together's. Would rather just like to be able to walk in and say hi on such occasions.



DreamingCloud7
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02 Sep 2014, 6:26 am

Most of the time, couldn't stand them when I was a child though.



Daveytn
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02 Sep 2014, 6:34 am

I hate the idea of people touching me, however hugs with my girlfriend are actually amazing which I would never have thought.



babyheart
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03 Sep 2014, 5:17 am

Quote:
Daveytn: I hate the idea of people touching me, however hugs with my girlfriend are actually amazing which I would never have thought.


I think that's more or less what I wanted to say that there has to be that emotional bond for hugging to be comfortable. Uh! Sometimes (well most of the time), I say the simplest things in the most complicated ways lol.



italstallianion
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03 Sep 2014, 6:58 pm

I'm about that hug life.


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Gita
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03 Sep 2014, 9:53 pm

My parents never ever huged me.touching people is gross. My mother seemed like she was dead. My dad was rough and hurt me and I hated him touching me. My mother abandoned me, so she did not have o deal with me any more. I never trusted anyone who tried to hug me after that.



MonaLisa1992
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04 Sep 2014, 7:04 am

I can hug two men. And a handful of women that I know. Everyone else- stay clear or I'll shoot through the roof!
I like hands. Hand touching is okay in my book once you get past the germ thing. My face and my neck are a no go for anybody though. As you can probably tell I don't date much.


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italstallianion
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04 Sep 2014, 8:07 pm

MonaLisa1992 wrote:
I can hug two men. And a handful of women that I know. Everyone else- stay clear or I'll shoot through the roof!
I like hands. Hand touching is okay in my book once you get past the germ thing. My face and my neck are a no go for anybody though. As you can probably tell I don't date much.


I don't date much either, but it's not because of my hug life, it's just that women don't like me.


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The rain came pourin' down, and when I drowned,
was when I could finally breathe,
and by mornin', gone was any trace of you,
now I think I am finally clean. #Dat Angst


MonaLisa1992
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04 Sep 2014, 10:26 pm

italstallianion wrote:
MonaLisa1992 wrote:
I can hug two men. And a handful of women that I know. Everyone else- stay clear or I'll shoot through the roof!
I like hands. Hand touching is okay in my book once you get past the germ thing. My face and my neck are a no go for anybody though. As you can probably tell I don't date much.


I don't date much either, but it's not because of my hug life, it's just that women don't like me.


Women are b*****s.
I would know. I am one.


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babyheart
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04 Sep 2014, 11:36 pm

MonaLisa1992 wrote:
I can hug two men. And a handful of women that I know. Everyone else- stay clear or I'll shoot through the roof!
I like hands. Hand touching is okay in my book once you get past the germ thing. My face and my neck are a no go for anybody though. As you can probably tell I don't date much.


I hope you don't mind me saying, but when I read the first line of this post, I thought you meant you can hug two men at the same time. It was only when I read the second line I understood the meaning. I've not been diagnosed as having asperger's but does this indicate aspergian traits?

Sorry to go off topic. I need to understand : (



MonaLisa1992
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05 Sep 2014, 5:21 am

babyheart wrote:
MonaLisa1992 wrote:
I can hug two men. And a handful of women that I know. Everyone else- stay clear or I'll shoot through the roof!
I like hands. Hand touching is okay in my book once you get past the germ thing. My face and my neck are a no go for anybody though. As you can probably tell I don't date much.


I hope you don't mind me saying, but when I read the first line of this post, I thought you meant you can hug two men at the same time. It was only when I read the second line I understood the meaning. I've not been diagnosed as having asperger's but does this indicate aspergian traits?

Sorry to go off topic. I need to understand : (


I have kind of short arms. Maybe if we squished I could hug two of them but that might be weird.

I've never heard the word asperigan but it sounds neat. I'm not a doctor though so maybe you should ask a doctor about the aspergers diagnosing stuff.


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LyraLuthTinu
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06 Sep 2014, 3:34 pm

babyheart wrote:
MonaLisa1992 wrote:
I can hug two men. And a handful of women that I know. Everyone else- stay clear or I'll shoot through the roof!
I like hands. Hand touching is okay in my book once you get past the germ thing. My face and my neck are a no go for anybody though. As you can probably tell I don't date much.


I hope you don't mind me saying, but when I read the first line of this post, I thought you meant you can hug two men at the same time. It was only when I read the second line I understood the meaning. I've not been diagnosed as having asperger's but does this indicate aspergian traits?

Sorry to go off topic. I need to understand : (


babyheart,Taking words at their literal meaning is indeed an Asperger's Syndrome trait. But it is only one of many. You should take more tests to self-diagnose, because there are Aspies and autistics who do like hugs. There are Aspies and autistics whose sensory issues include not liking hugs, too.

MonaLisa1992, there's no need to go bashing all women by calling us b*****s even if you are a self-proclaimed one.

Some of us actually try to be nice and are hurt when our failures to connect emotionally the way "nypicals" want get us called "b*****s." I get called that when I fail to read my nypical husband's non-verbal cues that he wants a hug. If I know he wants a hug, he gets one. But if he sends me nonverbal signals and I'm so busy washing dishes or whatever that I miss them he calls me a b***h. It hurts my feelings. I'm trying to be a good wife but sometimes I get called a b***h just because I can't read his neurotypical mind. If you want to call yourself a b***h that's fine but don't call all of us that. It's just rude and hurtful.

Plus there are other reasons for not wanting to hug a guy than being a b***h. Some of us have sensory issues. Some of us are afraid a hug will turn into an unwanted groping session. Some of us don't want a guy to spring an awkward boner when we hug him. And, as many in this thread have mentioned, some of us have phobias about germs or even body odors.

Stop throwing around the b-word, it just makes you look rude and ignorant.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 141 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 71 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Official diagnosis: Austism Spectrum Disorder Level One, without learning disability, without speech/language delay; Requiring Support


MonaLisa1992
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06 Sep 2014, 6:41 pm

LyraLuthTinu wrote:
babyheart wrote:
MonaLisa1992 wrote:
I can hug two men. And a handful of women that I know. Everyone else- stay clear or I'll shoot through the roof!
I like hands. Hand touching is okay in my book once you get past the germ thing. My face and my neck are a no go for anybody though. As you can probably tell I don't date much.


I hope you don't mind me saying, but when I read the first line of this post, I thought you meant you can hug two men at the same time. It was only when I read the second line I understood the meaning. I've not been diagnosed as having asperger's but does this indicate aspergian traits?

Sorry to go off topic. I need to understand : (


babyheart,Taking words at their literal meaning is indeed an Asperger's Syndrome trait. But it is only one of many. You should take more tests to self-diagnose, because there are Aspies and autistics who do like hugs. There are Aspies and autistics whose sensory issues include not liking hugs, too.

MonaLisa1992, there's no need to go bashing all women by calling us b*****s even if you are a self-proclaimed one.

Some of us actually try to be nice and are hurt when our failures to connect emotionally the way "nypicals" want get us called "b*****s." I get called that when I fail to read my nypical husband's non-verbal cues that he wants a hug. If I know he wants a hug, he gets one. But if he sends me nonverbal signals and I'm so busy washing dishes or whatever that I miss them he calls me a b***h. It hurts my feelings. I'm trying to be a good wife but sometimes I get called a b***h just because I can't read his neurotypical mind. If you want to call yourself a b***h that's fine but don't call all of us that. It's just rude and hurtful.

Plus there are other reasons for not wanting to hug a guy than being a b***h. Some of us have sensory issues. Some of us are afraid a hug will turn into an unwanted groping session. Some of us don't want a guy to spring an awkward boner when we hug him. And, as many in this thread have mentioned, some of us have phobias about germs or even body odors.

Stop throwing around the b-word, it just makes you look rude and ignorant.


I absolutely apologize for any misconception! I was trying to make a joke. I should have been more clear with that and I see how that was a hurtful statement.


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LyraLuthTinu
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09 Sep 2014, 8:09 pm

All right then! No hard feelings. :)


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 141 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 71 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Official diagnosis: Austism Spectrum Disorder Level One, without learning disability, without speech/language delay; Requiring Support


foodeater
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10 Sep 2014, 10:10 am

the actual hug, i like. it's more the processing the different timings and firmness people expect in reciprocation gets stressful, like a pop quiz. like, some people will do almost more like a chest bump where you happen to pat their back or conversely if they do longer hugs if you stop before they do they can get offended. and even the same people have different expectations and hugs in different situations...but, yeah the general sensation is fine/good. it's the similar problem i have with handshakes, with too many, for me, little things to pay attention to comfortably coming at me quickly, compared to holding hands with someone i know, which can help give me something to focus on and is generally really nice.

so it's more okay it if it's done regularly with someone and it's actually fun to practice and figure out. as long as they don't smell, haha.