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OhkaBaka
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17 Jul 2014, 6:55 pm

This one is one of those weird holdouts in my own collection of behaviours that is reported atypically from my own experience so universally I'm dumbfounded.

I come from very close folk, we hugged, my rugged father says he loves me... my sister tickled me (mercilessly) (and it was not ok)... my mom squeezed me like I might get away... every day of my childhood.

Mind you "touch" is still a very real and very upsetting input for me... Tags have to be cut off; yogurt-pudding-whipped anything does not go in my mouth; but touching people is not just OK, it is...

...it is...

...I'm gonna go with "anchor" It gives me another tool to communicate... something... meh... I would say I use my superpowers to measure their temperature and heartrate, to check if they are relaxed or taut, if their skin is still or twitchy... except I don't think I can cognitively do any of those things. Maybe I can, but I can't percieve it.

It is good, but it is as UNTRUSTWORTHY as any other communication tool: I absolutely refuse to purchase any large ticket item from a female. I don't mean to be sexist, but if she touches my arm, my brain shorts out and money starts shooting out of my wallet like a broken ATM (in any stupid movie in the 90s with a broken ATM)...

My ASD boy gets the same treatment I got... Sometimes the quite of our house gets errupted by "HEY," my wife will yell, "YOU COME HERE AND GET LOVE FROM YOUR MOTHER!" and then a scuffle... and then the inevitable hugs as she catches him... and I hug him and pick him up half a dozen times a day... he doesn't dislike it... he is like me that way... but he needs to PREPARE for it.

NO ONE is allowed to tickle him, Daddy is his enforcer on that one.

...he does a Lean (like a Boxer or a Doberman if you know dogs)... anchoring... exactly the way I do...

We can't REALLY be the only two that do this...



BirdInFlight
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17 Jul 2014, 7:04 pm

Although I do remember cuddling with my mother, mine was a family who basically never touched each other. No hugs, nothing. I have family photos of us standing together like a loose crowd of strangers -- nobody is putting an arm around the nearest person, not even to pull into the frame of the camera. It's freaking weird.

I now only enjoy hugs if they come from someone I am in a love-relationship with. Everyone else, I feel awkward.

.



Kiprobalhato
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17 Jul 2014, 11:34 pm

i like hugs. those from my friends are the ones i enjoy the most. also strangely enough i have little problem with strangers hugging me as long as i know they're not dangerous.
my family is very touchy though. always hugging and kissing.


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nyxjord
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18 Jul 2014, 10:19 am

When I was growing up, I liked to rough house with my dad... but he was the only person who really displayed affection. Now, I only like being touched/ hugged by really close friends and my fiance. Other than that, I don't really like being in that close of proximity to others.


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kraftiekortie
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18 Jul 2014, 3:58 pm

I'm huggable with ladies; not so much with men.



bleh12345
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18 Jul 2014, 4:15 pm

My sensory issues with touch were pretty bad in regards to clothing, food textures, and repeated tapping in the same spot. However, I always loved hugs until I was about 14. Bad stuff was going on at home, though. I love hugs again. I have to force my aspie husband to hug me, because he doesn't like it. Well, maybe that's mean, but it's only for a second. I'm the type of person that will go and hug animals, children, and all sorts of people (if they allow me). I also love holding hands. My favorite type of touch is a "bear hug", though. I love the sensation.



LyraLuthTinu
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19 Jul 2014, 5:54 pm

Yes, I love hugs. I'm sometimes a bit freaked out when my hugs are taken as sexy flirts instead of brother/sister phileo love for all my friends hugs though.

When I was a teen my big brother had a bff whose little brother has Autism.

He was my stereotype of What Autism Is for almost 30 years.

Now, studying the spectrum and seeing how many ASD/Aspie traits I have I'm embarrassed at the way I always treated him.

He would ask me when he could have a hug from me--and I would say "never." Now I can only wonder how much that hurt him. But I still wonder if he would have taken it to mean we could be more than friends!


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OhkaBaka
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21 Jul 2014, 6:20 pm

bleh12345 wrote:
My favorite type of touch is a "bear hug", though. I love the sensation.

Compression + Warm + its People! I agree.



OhkaBaka
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21 Jul 2014, 6:24 pm

LyraLuthTinu wrote:
Yes, I love hugs. I'm sometimes a bit freaked out when my hugs are taken as sexy flirts instead of brother/sister phileo love for all my friends hugs though.


{ Shamefully raises hand }

I apologize for as many of us NT and Aspie alike. I don't get it in the NTs (they are supposed to know better)... of course... I KNOW BETTER TOO... but that's me... my hair trigger emotional response trigger... touch my arm and I'll buy a car from you... gimme a hug and MARRIAGE! {facepalm}



OhkaBaka
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21 Jul 2014, 6:26 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm huggable with ladies; not so much with men.


I'm weird about it, even though I don't intend to be. I have strongly bonded male friends that I hug, guys I trust and love as brothers... and still...

I'll hug my ACTUAL brothers with no hesitation... it is that weird.

Strangers who hug, culturally or whatever... AAAAH... I want to support hugs... but AAAAAAH!



OhkaBaka
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21 Jul 2014, 6:29 pm

nyxjord wrote:
Other than that, I don't really like being in that close of proximity to others.


Holy nuts! I hadn't even thought of it until you said that... but I'd bet for me it is THAT exactly... if I'm in contact with someone I know where they are, and how they are moving, even if I'm not looking directly at them (yeah... like THATS gonna happen)...



FracturedRocket
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28 Jul 2014, 5:56 pm

Unless they're from really close friends or immediate family, I hate hugs. I can't stand having people touch me. :?


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Tim_Tex
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28 Jul 2014, 5:58 pm

I love them.


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chipchipchoka
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29 Jul 2014, 5:58 am

i like them very much



LyraLuthTinu
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29 Jul 2014, 8:54 pm

I need more hugs. When my husband is working out of town I usually don't get any and it's like I'm withering away for lack of tangible affection.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 141 of 200
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You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Official diagnosis: Austism Spectrum Disorder Level One, without learning disability, without speech/language delay; Requiring Support