Hello, I'm new. I was diagnosed HFA/Aspergers 4 days ago

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Blender, Congratulations and welcome

While a lot of posts by us "mature adults" note the complete lack of medical knowledge back in the day we should not underestimate that there was no internet and thus no forums or facebook etc. That meant if your condition was undiscovered you had no way of knowing there were others like you. No way for a bunch of people to say 'We think the medical establishment is missing this or is wrong about this". It was whatever you could figure out by onand implementing. A lot of people get depressed about missing out because it was unknown. But for me there is nobody to feel angry towered and that has been freed me to feel some as you said pride in what I was able to accomplish with undiagnosed moderately severe Asperger's.

My employer back in the late 90's the told me I was "a little bit autistic" and that I did not make eye contact and people would think I was rude. I thought this was the strangest way anyone had ever tried to bully me. This eye contact thing he was harping on about seemed so trivial. I really was that clueless. I went along with it because he was paying my checks and further employment even in the booming economy of that era looked problematic. Even though I thought was a charade he did help me with eye contact.

In the mid 2000's I related the main character in the TV show Bones, she was a female version of me. I did read a few articles about her "Aspergers" and I did think I probably "had it". In most diagnosis stories massive research with "Oh my God" after "Oh my God" moments of recognition follows. That is not how it went for me this never became more then a mild curiosity and I never got passed the personality traits to understand the pervasiveness of this. I was not ready.

By 2013 my career was gone with no prospect of turning things around that I could see. I was burnt out numb going moment to moment existing not living, still at home. My sister a speech pathologist who works with autistic kids figured it out and with my brother and staged "soft intervention" . In a meeting with a family financial advisor it was brought to my attention that I was not only putting my self I trouble but endangering my family. I was given a name of psych told she had 30 years experience and asked would I see her. I said yes just came out. Me and my siblings looked at each other because everybody expected a no followed by a long shutdown. I was shocked how smoothly and naturally that "Yes" came out. I was ready. I got the diagnoses and was numb until I hit the street. You ever see those movies when an alien is born and these bolts of electricity run through them. I did feel something like electric currents running though it was wonderful but also scary because I ever expensed emotion remotely that intense. It really as a second birthday.

For the OP my advices is a naturally as it is after all these years don't fight the mixed emotions, let your atistic brain do what it needs to do.

They are sill diagnosing people with Aspergers. Interesting, Glad to hear but I guess that is a topic for another thread.