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Mirta
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21 Nov 2014, 5:18 pm

Hello everybody!

I'm Mirta, I'm new here, I'm in my thirties and have Aspergers!

Nice evening!



AspieUtah
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21 Nov 2014, 5:22 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Note: Wrong Planet will be doing a system upgrade tonight at 8:30 p.m. EST through sometime tomorrow.


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Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


cathylynn
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21 Nov 2014, 6:01 pm

hi, mirta, welcome, what sorts of things do you like to do?



RoadRatt
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21 Nov 2014, 6:10 pm

Hey Mirta welcome. :sunny:


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AnonymousAnonymous
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21 Nov 2014, 6:11 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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Kitty4670
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23 Nov 2014, 3:05 am

Hi there!



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23 Nov 2014, 10:20 am

Welcome! :)


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ziggyramone
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24 Nov 2014, 11:12 am

Welcome!


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Verinda
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24 Nov 2014, 12:02 pm

Hello mirta, welcome to the forum :D



Mirta
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09 Jan 2016, 9:32 am

Hello everybody!

I have some question. Well, I have very hard times when I have to wait for something, especially when I don't know for how long I have to wait. I mean I can really feel bad. I've read it's tipically aspie to have problems waiting (I read a lot since I'm aware I'm an aspie, before and after my diagnosis). And even if people tell me "don't worry!" it doesn't help me. I'm not worrying. It's not that. And "you'll see!" makes me crazy!
What would help me is to know "when", "how long" etc...
How can we cope with that?
And how can I explain to non-aspie people, so that they don't think I'm an impatient baby making a tantrum? Because it's very hurtfull that people can think that. And to explain to them that I need them to tell me and that they must not refuse to tell me and must not tell me "you'll see" or "don't worry"?



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09 Jan 2016, 10:55 am

I will try to help, but I am sure there are others who can express it better.

In some ways it is like you are working with an emotional/social blindfold on.

I think that is why most of us like order in our lives and like knowing what to expect.

I have Asperger and I have a lot of anxiety issues. Not every person with Asperger's does, but I think most do have anxiety issues.
What kind of support group or family do you have? Give them time to come to grow to understand you. Dont try to hard to "educate" them if they seem disinterested or dont understand, they will come around over time.

When you dont have a set agenda or plan that you know and are familiar with, it is like asking a blindfolded person to go into a room that they are not familiar with - they dont know what to expect.
I think that is why my Aspie kids as well as me get anxious when we dont know the plan or the plan changes. We are not sure what will be expected of us socially or emotionally. We are not sure to what degree we have a say so in the change of plans. We are not sure if our desires or needs will be met or if it is appropriate to express our deisres or needs.
I know waiting for something you are excited about is not exactly the same thing, but I think it applies to that as well

sorry for rambling, I think that might have made more sense in my head.



Mirta
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09 Jan 2016, 12:37 pm

It's very well expressed! And it's exactly that!

Quote:
What kind of support group or family do you have?


support group: none

Quote:
Give them time to come to grow to understand you. Dont try to hard to "educate" them if they seem disinterested or dont understand, they will come around over time.


how much time? I can't just feel bad all the time because of that and just wait 'till I don't know what happens.
And I'm not trying hard to educate people. It's just....when someone does something hurtfull, what should I do? I can't just feel hurt and voilà....I mean....

Quote:
When you dont have a set agenda or plan that you know and are familiar with, it is like asking a blindfolded person to go into a room that they are not familiar with - they dont know what to expect.


It's exactly that! And I'd ad that..what if, when that blind person asks where the things are in the room, we'd reply "you'll see" or "don't worry" as only answer and refuse to tell him?

Quote:
I know waiting for something you are excited about is not exactly the same thing, but I think it applies to that as well


yup! It applies to!
If I try to espress how I feel, it would be like if I had a ticket for my favorite band, but without any date on it, like I don't know when the concert will be, and when I ask, the only answer would be "don't worry, your ticket will be avaible whatever the date is! What make's you worry like that?" or "You'll see! You'll know when they tell!"
It would make me totally crazy!



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09 Jan 2016, 1:00 pm

Mirta wrote:
Quote:
What kind of support group or family do you have?


support group: none

Quote:
Give them time to come to grow to understand you. Dont try to hard to "educate" them if they seem disinterested or dont understand, they will come around over time.


how much time? I can't just feel bad all the time because of that and just wait 'till I don't know what happens.
And I'm not trying hard to educate people. It's just....when someone does something hurtfull, what should I do? I can't just feel hurt and voilà....I mean....


I know it is not the same as support in the real world, but I would be glad to listen any time (thru the dealy of my reading your post) I cant guarantee I would have good advice. And there are lots of people here who will listena nd give better advice

As far as people not understanding you and your differences... that is the big unending question in my life, but the bigger life lesson whether you are NT or Aspie or Autistic is relationships develop over time and differ in degrees. You have to work hard, sometimes harder than the other person. But guard each relationship like a flower in a garden and trust people. Dont sweat the little stuff, which is hard because with Aspergers it is hard to tell the difference. Dont give up on people because they dont understand, just give a little more time.

Sorry told you advice not great, but it is free.



Mirta
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09 Jan 2016, 3:35 pm

thank you! :)



Mirta
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20 Jan 2016, 2:30 pm

can I send you a PM?