Hi, an Introduction, and longer than I thought!

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Hi, I'm Bunni, and fairly new here, though I've already started posting in the forums in Parents Discussions. I am 46, and mother of two kids, a 13 year old girl and a 21 year old son. My son has ADHD.

My 13 year old daughter Em, was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when she was about 8 years old. Prior to that she had been diagnosed with ADHD and PDD-NOS. For a short while she had been diagnosed with ODD, but that was changed with the Asperger's Diagnosis, and the ADHD also still remains.

She is gifted, and taught herself to read at age 3. Her speech was a bit weird as she spoke the way she read, putting all the letter sounds together. Her reason for wanting to read was to play with her brother's Gameboy. I read to her every night, and one night she asked me how to read. I told her that all the letters had sounds, which she knew, and that when you put them together they make words. The very next night she read a book to me, and she has never stopped. By Kindegarten she was reading at around a 5th grade level. Now she reads at a college level but prefers text books, encyclopedias and dictionaries.

Even before this though, we knew something wasn't quite right with Em. She would have horrible tantrums lasting hours. It was obvious to me that she had something to say but didn't have the language to say it. She had weird fears, like, she was afraid of bubbles and wind up toys or anything that moved in a way she didn't understand. She loved to line up the contents of my refrigerator next to my bed while I slept. She loved to pull sticky labels off things like video tapes and roll them sticky side up in her hands.

All of these things were replaced over the years with new fears and other stim behaviors. Currently she fears bees, but really any flying insect that invades her space. She fears high architecture, like in Walmart or Lowes as she imagines herself falling from the beams. She hates when balloons are stuck on the celing in a store because she's afraid it will pop as she walks by. Newer behaviors include biting her sleeves to the point she had holes in the fabric, and then pulling strings out of clothing. This has gotten just a little better, but has been replaced with picking at her skin. We had a short period of hair pulling to the point she had bald spots. She couldn't tell us why, and she couldn't tell us why she stopped either.

She's never had a friend. We came close when we moved to our current home a year ago, and the girl her age would come to visit. The visits stopped though, but they sit together at lunch time at school. Em rarely knows what to talk about. All the girls are interested in clothes, shoes and boys. She hates all of those things! She makes fun of girly girls, but thankfully not when they are present.

Our biggest challeneges right now are dealing with the increased social demands of middle school, getting her teachers to understand not to include social content in her classwork/homework, and helping Emily to understand that other people have thoughts and feelings too. She also has trouble with rages due to frustration and stress.

She is absolutely beautiful in so many ways I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world, and I've learned so much about people and life through her. I've had to learn to communicate on her level, but it's not really that hard for me to grasp.

I don't know whether I have Asperger's or not, but I suspect that my dad did. I see pieces of myself as a kid through my daughter. I had no friends for a long time. I didn't get alot of what was going on around me, and did I ever have a temper. I don't know how much of this was because I had such odd parents and we were moving all the time, or did I have some of these traits? Perhaps it was learned behavior, I don't know. I just know that I can relate to some of what she goes through but I also see the other side of the coin.

Anyway, lol, this is a lot longer than I intended! Thanks for reading!

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Welcome. I'm RedMage, resident Ifrit fan.

Welcome Bunni,

Em sounds like every other girl around here. I think you may be on to something.

Parenting is such an odd trip, I avoid that forum. You do seem likely to have a touch of the As yourself. At least I can understand you. I am 60, I just discoverd AS, many of our experts are kiddies. They all report the same as Em goes through, but around here they have lots of other kiddies to play with, and they pick on adults, and get away with it.

You could let Em come out and play. She has peers here.

We Dinos are from another time. Made it, almost humans now. But the kiddies have full knowledge to start with. Have to admit, they use words I do not understand. Their world is much better than ours was.

You are old enough to hang at the Dino Cafe, see what has become of the +40 set. I never knew there were people like me, now I know of many. The whole fight the world thing seems to vanish between us. We just have fun in our own world.

The kiddies are so bright I never know who I am talking to. I follow a profoudly deep and insightful post and find the writer is 14. They rank on WP by smarts, not age. It seems all of that world stuff is forgotten here. Like all kiddes they sneek out and hang together on other forums, out of sight.

Meeting others like myself was liberating. You can parent all you want, it is still Em who has to find her place in the world. There are lots like her here. Just knowing I am not alone is great.

When RedMage was that age she caused a drought in Australia, sun spots that shut down the internet, and altered the fabric of time and space. Now she has WP for a fan club and the universe is a much safer place.

Em could have worse toys. We do have the best collection anywhere. There are girls of all types, thinkers, scientists, musicians, shoppers, and excapees from video games. They are beyond herding, they wander at will, only part of their world shows here, but they have one.

Come hang at the Dino Cafe and see that we do turn into something, not sure what, but working on it.

I did show Em the site, and she had me search to see if anyone is enjoying playing Kingdom Hearts. I did find a few posts about it, and told her so. Her response was "cool", so I'm hoping that she is thinking of joining here as well. She needs a community, and so do I.

Thanks for everything you've all said, and the welcomes! I'll check out the Dino Cafe

Thanks again!

Em will love place if she's a gamer.

Most of the teens around here are big on it.

Especially me but I'm into games like Starcraft and Advance Wars mostly.

All of my long life lesser beings have called me stupid, I discovered AS a month ago. I thought I was the only one. I have never felt stupid, but around here I can feel inferior. Karel Capek came up in a post, and I found nothing I could add. It was covered from all angles, and well done. I have never been in such company.

Coming up now, knowing about AS, having the internet, understanding, support, a peer group, is such a different world. You all are that good. If I told the whole truth, your head would expode. I was the smartest and best informed, then there was that VCR flashing 12:00. I have a kid, she fixed it for me.

The kiddies around send me to Wilki. I never had to work at it to keep up before. This is great. I have been called Professor since I was 14, I finally found a place I can be a student. I was 43 when Windows 3.0 came out.

Bunni is trying, but lets let Em tell her own story, parents are so embarassing.

Inventor hobbles off to the Dino Cafe, the kiddies will take care of each other.

Welcome Bunni, see you at the Cafe (to use Inventor's word "kiddies" are welcome to visit... some even stay... I find people aged between -0.76 and 5,000 are always worth talking to).

The Cafe is full of Adult Content, and not the interesting kind, it is a boring place for those who need a sheltered life. We talk of the good old days, the Mesolithic. What can you do with people who say things like, "Color Television."

She made a few more posts. She won't type for herself right now...I need to do some upgrades on her computer. I offered to let her say hello to the Dino's but she wasn't interested in the least. She did want to know where the younger one's hung out though, which is a good sign. It's going to take her a while to warm up.

I should get my mum to join, but she won't post much as I use the computer the most.

welcome!

i don't know what i'd do w/o WP. i hope to see more of both of you

and another parent that comes to understand somethings about other people once her child gets diagnosed...

and she sounds like a savant, most of which do have some form of autism. she also sounds rather cheerfull and whimsical.

ow just a general routine type thing advise, she may be your special little girl, but dont make it neglect your son. that sometimes tends to happen, or so iv heard.

anyway hope youl find what your looking for here, seems you really might.

My son has never been neglected, no worries. He has ADHD, Anxiety disorder, PTSD, and other issues....I learned very well the system of IEP's and accomodation with him first. He is 21. I understood alot before my daughter was diagnosed, as I have these traits myself, I saw them in my father, I saw them in my ex.

We've learned, my children and I to help each other, tolerate others, embrace differences. My son is a wonderful advocate for my daughter, and sometimes himself. I advocate for both on a regular basis. We support each other because we are what we truly have in this world. We value things like respect, honesty, and trust.

Em is special in her way and my son is in his too. They're both reminded often, or as often as they'll hear it What's really really cool..my son has been off at college for two years, and he comes home and talks to Em about verious issues...and he sounds like me talking to him when he was young. He was listening all those years!! We're busy getting him some more education, and he thinks he might now go for Psychology. He wants to help others the way he was helped. I'm very proud of him. I'm proud of both of them.

You should be proud of yourself Bunni! I can tell you love them both a lot, and that counts for most!