my little boy has Asperger's

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Hi. My son was diagnosed with autism at 20 months and then Asperger's at age 4, and he'll be 6 this summer. The best advice that I can try to give is to learn as much as you can and try to become the best advocate you can. I'm still working on both, and probably always will be, but you have to keep going forward.
I felt like life was over when we got his diagnosis, and I was very mad for a long time, and sometimes I still feel that way. It seems so unfair. But then reality steps in and you just learn to do the best you can.
I don't know what types of help you have access to, but look into whatever you can. The spectrum varies so greatly and trying to find someone that has a similar child is not always so easy. I was lucky to find a support group when our son was diagnosed, but we have found that with the diagnosis changing to Asperger's, we don't have much in common as far as issues and behaviors go, but the support is still there. I would suggest trying to find other parents that you could actually meet with as well.
Does your school district offer much support for special needs?
Stay positive
Jacksmom

There are a lot of people who lead sucessful lives with aspergers. Bill Gates to name one.

It can be used to make decent money. There are a lot of fields where it is quite useful. Engineering, Accounting, Finance, etc. Anybody who has to deal with a lot of numbers (if they are good at them). Nothing like being able to focus on numbers, money etc for 8 hours a day 5 days a week to pay some bills.

I've known a few friends with other problems like epilepsy etc. The ones who seemed to do best were those whose parents treated them like normal children, an allowance here and there for their disability but nothing more. They should be made to feel as normal as possible.

Watch what you read. I am from the old days, Bookish was the most common word for people like me. On my own I bought my first Harris Tweed at fifteen, and three years later was working IT. A natural born Geek. Us Dinos made it in the world.

Then comes the psycobabble era, junior shrinks with apointment books to fill, who just wanted to work full time. The Symtoms of AS range from being born, to dieing, with a bunch of made up stuff in the middle.

Then comes better living through supporting drug companies, a pill for everything.

Last and most recent, a bunch of bright well adjusted young people on WP, life is good, they have some friends, knowing where they differ, they accomadate the world. They think psycobabble is a quaint form of speech. They do not approve of drugs in general, and want to know in detail all effects and side effects before even considering dopeing their problems.

Don't trust anyone over sixteen!

AS has no cause, treatment, cure, no two people here have the same AS. We have 10,000 versions?

AS is the only disability with major writers, Vonngut, Resturant at the end of the Universe, a science department that includes Newton, Tesla, Bill Gates, NASA, we are one in three hundred, yet hold most first chairs in most major orcastras, Mathematics and Information Technology would be lost without us. Art and animation seem to be AS owned fields. IQs group around 140. We are 1,000,000 in the US alone.

In short, we have a culture superior to the mass culture. On WP we find common interests, no longer feel isolated or not understood, age and gender seem to be no barriors to relating. We are a tribe. We are now self defining, I mean, would you let someone with a 60 IQ define people with a 100 IQ?

By the time your child grows up we will be an established sub-culture. They are one out of three hundred who can join. There will be a place in life for them. Just let them grow to become themselves. Twelve hangs out here, and if more parents gave two's laptops, well we spontainously learn to read at four, often have University level knowledge in some fields by seven. Everyone wants a network of peers and equals.

If we had half the money that has been made on us we would be very rich. Microsoft is twenty? Windows 3.0 1990?

We do take a bit longer to grow up, we are opinionated and will protest, but we are Geeks, and know the first rule of computers from birth, GIGO, Garbage In=Garbage Out. We want nothing but a slow and safe childhood, a time to grow a brain near half again as complex. Turn off the TV, Radio, lower the lights, speak softly, and life is much better. Wash our clothes, sheets, towels, twice, first with unscented soap, then with pure water. We are highly tuned and overload on lights, sounds, smells. Keep the load down and we develop faster. Try to teach us the right way to use a spoon, a pencil, and we may never get it, non functional areas are just shut down. Partitioned is the computer term.

The more you learn about computers the better you will understand us. We are not machines, we invented them as logical extentions of AS brains, and this Internet, both of which were described in Patents by Tesla in 1903.

Skip the doctors and pills, get the kid a laptop and broadband, something a small child can understand. Knowledge and technology are doubling every few years. Only some can keep up. By the time your child grows up it will be a much different world. They may teleport to the Mars colony.

Since you asked &/or seem curious about the future for your Aspie child, I will reveal, partly, my identity for you. I attach no value judgment; I am objective. I collect data continuously and do not necessarily assign meaning to what I observe. I have an enhanced sensory modality (my senses overlap) and therefore and eidetic (photographic) memory. However, I can and do become faint when overwhelmed. I am prone to screaming crying "meltdowns" (I hate that word). Otherwise, I am quite impassive and sometimes described as a "cyborg" or "vulcan." Physically, I am very feminine and very pretty and definitely heterosexual - I only like older protective men though. I am painfully shy and afraid of strangers.

I am a strong scientist and chemist. After my masters degree I finished a research project in photochemistry. I love the laboratory, where I feel at home - I am an analyst/chemist in an analytical research laboratory. When I was a child I did well in school but mostly was not mainstreamed. Apparently, I have an IQ of 160 + but I am uncertain how a complex dynamic like human intelligence can be represented in a ration number. Significantly, I am very artistic. I am creative! I paint and love to draw. At my lab I often draw &/or write instead of speak. I forgot to mention: I am nearly mute. I carry pen & paper in my purse since I virtually do not speak in public. I am often misinterpreted. I am told I have a haunted Aspie look (there truly is such a thing). I am ghastly pale with big dark green eyes and around my eyes I'm kind of dark. I have dark blonde hair.

Sometimes strangers think I am deaf, blind, drugged, or psychotic (I am not, nor have I ever been, any of these). Personally, I love to read and I'm physically quite active but not athletic. I do "stim," which probably sets me apart too. When I speak, like at the lab, I often speak like a child (I am told) and use numbers instead of words. I am psychologically fragile and try hard to please. Those who know me say I'm kind of eccentric but "very sweet." I am naively honest and interpret literally. In many ways, I am like a child while being deeply wise from having a different perspective. I have been hurt and I am not unscathed; I have been crippled by critism.

So, I am heartened that you are a good and loving parent! If your child does not make eye contact (I do not) do not be alarmed - there are other ways. Does this help at all? I'm thinking not.......anyway, I am grateful for what I have been given. Aspies are analytical thinkers without pretense. Good luck.

I would say that you could protect him, by not protecting him so much. If he does grow up to have social problems, its better that he learn how things are instead of telling him it'll get better when it won't. Teach to him to deal with his differences instead of trying to avoid and cover them up.

Then, again, I rather favor the tough love approach, so this may not be your style.

I can honestly say that I have it and I have a degree in engineering. I have been working as an engineer for 12 years and I am working on my masters thesis at this time. If all goes well, I may go for a PH-D.

Discipline, drive and hard work can get you far in this world. Even with AS you can still achieve your dreams.