Heya
I'm new. I'm in my 40's. I was diagnosed with Asperger's in my 30's.
I cannot work full time. I tried to work 3 days per week starting Jun 16, but physically and mentally, it was too draining and put me in the ER twice.
After years of not being social in any real way (corporate jobs were my socializing until I stopped working 8 years ago), working at my job really lifted me, I had a better attitude, I had more energy, and I liked seeing my regular clients.
I quit in December.
I'm feeling really lonely now.
As sad as it is, the Mormon missionaries that come by once or twice per week are my main social group. I have no intention of joining their church. I've said this since the beginning. I've been to their church and said the same thing to the Bishop there. Other than being Christian, my beliefs don't fit with theirs, but they are nice people, I can hide in the crowd, but I'm included.
I'm "out" as not-gonna-be-a-mormon with the people I think need to know, but there is a bit of a worry that someone is going to jump me because I hadn't become a member yet. I accept a lot of differences from people. We're all different and I'm cool with people acting or valuing something different than I do. I think it's stupid that some people REQUIRE 'normal' behaviour. That seems to include using a dumbed-down vocabulary, not letting people know I have a broad deep well of very particular information they don't expect me to know, and I tend to tell really long stories (I'm getting better at this) or share TMI. But what is TMI if it's the truth and it's appropriate to the topic? Why are people so secretive?
So I was talking to my therapist today - is it bad that I associate with groups I don't 100% agree with because they are nice?
Hiding in crowds works OK, but if people spend much time with me one-on-one and I'm relaxed, I come across as weird (I still don't know what all is included in being 'weird' but I've heard it enough to know there's some consistent perception).
My 'weird' coming out usually breaks down potential friendships. Relaxing into being myself after I have a relationship has chased people away.
My therapist suggested I try to find other people with Asperger's to hang out with.
It never occurred to me as possible.
I'm "trained" to make eye contact and pay attention to what someone else is saying, but I'll still flip out if I'm triggered while I'm tired (just diagnosed with MS...I'm tired a lot) or stressed. The flipping-out bit is what has ruined most of my relationships because I seem normal enough until I become unglued. Often, I'm better on my own.
I never really thought that there would be a group of Aspies socializing because that seems to be a common factor, but I have been around people (well, 25 years ago) that accepted my weird and my weird was just an ingredient in the group.
So I thought, maybe there are other Aspies who socialize with each other, can give each other space without a lot of questions if they need a break, and integrate everyone's weird enough that we can get into great conversations over hot chocolate or play board games or something.
I can't find anything really useful online. Aspie groups I've found are heavily weighted to family members who got stuck with an Aspie like me and how they can cope, or groups of Aspie adults who were Aspie children and their parents are trying to figure out what to do with them
Diagnosed-as-adults Aspies have a lot in common. They're in documentaries! I have things in common with those people! How do I find them?
Any ideas?
10 Feb 2017, 6:02 am
