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Almost a year ago, when I was 14, I was diagnosed with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) but my doctor more specifically refers to it as aspergers syndrome. My parents we're not very supportive of the diagnosis and we're very open about their disapproval. My mom has had many jobs working in private practices and hospitals working with autistic kids (generally low functioning, non verbal) and helping them with speech therapy and basic social skills. My mom is highly educated on autism, and it hurt my feelings when I found out that although my symptoms are very obvious (and always have been), my mom purposely ignored them because of the stigma associated around autism. I did not get my diagnosis until I was in the hospital for a totally autism-unrelated reason, and the doctor noticed my symptoms and brought up the possibility of autism then referred me to a psychologist for neurological testing.

Fast forward to now, I now have my official diagnosis. I also do online schooling as a high schooler so I can take more courses at once and avoid the social issues I faced with my teachers and peers (yay!). I seem to excel in school, but my success in life pretty much ends there. I only have one friend, she is also autistic and a few years older. She is the first friend I have ever really had, I did not meet her until high school. We have the same special interests and she doesn't expect much from me socially, and vice versa, which is a breath of fresh air for both of us, neurotypicals are socially draining! About my family, my parents still either refuse to talk to me about anything autism related, or will talk about it for 3 minutes before getting upset and leaving saying "this topic is too intense". I can live with my peers treating me like dirt, but it just feels sh***y to have my own family invalidate my identity like this.

So fellow autistics of wrongplanet.net, this is my question to you, how did you learn to live with the psychological weight of being autistic? How did you learn to survive the bullying, disapproval, rejection, and scorn? How did you learn to accept who you are, even when the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally wont?

Wow that needs a bit of a long reply in most cases and all our experiences are a bit different. I am actually in process of writing about my experiences for a possible book which will cover most bases but it's taking a long time... will get there eventually.

High school was tough for me and I handled it badly, but now that my classmates have matured, many of them apologized at the one and only school reunion which I returned to my hometown for, for their treatment of me during our school days.

Your mom ought to know a bit more about HFA. The spectrum is quite variable and we are all different in our behaviours and outlook. I am also high functioning and although she was surprised when I was diagnosed, she began to see all the pieces were in place. My partner also understood a lot more for the first time, and wishes I could have been diagnosed sooner.

In response to your questions (shameless copy-pasting here, because I'm lazy):

How did you learn to live with the psychological weight of being autistic?
To start with, to say I'm autistic isn't exactly accurate. A more accurate description is that I have a few more autistic traits than average, but you likely won't notice them unless you did some research, knew what to look for, and spent a considerable amount of time talking to me. Even then you'd only find the social difficulties, as I don't have any sensory issues or repeditive behaviour to speak of. I don't know if this answers your question, but it's the best I can do.

How did you learn to survive the bullying, disapproval, rejection, and scorn?
That's one thing that wasn't really an issue. I pretty much grew up in the middle of nowhere (and I still live in a town of two dozen people), so there really wasn't anyone to disapprove, and I was mostly educated at home, which I think was better at preparing for university than high school education. It wasn't until I entered university that I started to speak with others to a significant degree. By that time my talents were so much more obvious than the relatively minor social difficulties that nobody really cared anymore.

How did you learn to accept who you are, even when the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally wont?
In all truth, I don't really care that much about whether I'm liked or not. I'd take honour and respect over almost anything else. So I guess that doesn't really apply?

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