1986 wrote:
In any case, as for successful people with ASD, my two cents is that it comes down to a certain "will to cope socially" as much as brute IQ. I'm not successful by any means but I hold a job and I'm married. I don't think my job is technically difficult (it's mostly boring), but socially, it takes a great toll on me to work in a team all day. When the day is over, I have to go home and chat and pay attention to my significant other. I've been tired for more than a decade now, but it's not a tiredness that can be treated (like for social anxiety disorder) so I'm left to simply live with it and enjoy a certain pride in being an integral part of a wider social circle, even if that pride is mostly intellectual.
To me, this "will to cope socially" is the will to work hard and suffer day after day, and keep coming back for more, year after year, with no real end in sight... and the willingness to fake your way through anything to get by. All for the opportunity to be a "normal" part of society, with friends and a decent job and a partner. And if I had to point to one thing that's gotten me these things, it would be that "will".
Also big contributors: supportive (if not understanding) parents, a decent IQ, being a white "normal" looking male, and a lot of luck & opportunities. It's a s***** world where success for those on the spectrum comes mostly for those lucky enough to have so many things fall into place and willing to give up so much of their selves and identities to adapt to their environment.