Hi and welcome. A couple of weeks ago I was put on the list to be assessed. It took me two years of wanting to ask before I finally asked.
In many ways I think it is just my character. Nothing wrong with me...! Well, I ad a few people in recent years say they thought I had asperges. I kinda laughted it off. Me? Asperges? No...
However, about three weeks ago I was half trying to trace the causes of energy loss, and also as I get faceblindness I was sidetracked into a youtube loop about the subject (Prosoprognosia is the official term). I kept avoiding a youtube link that was called "Ask an autistic". "Why click on the link. I don't have autism" were my thoughts. But after about two days of the same link repeating I thought "I may as well. I have watched most of the other links on the subject".
Wow! The young lady put things in such a clear and precise way that being me, I had to watch them all! While I was watching I was half thinking about some of the aspects and thinking "I know what she means..." but also half ignoring it. However, then I thought of the people who claimed I had asperges syndrome. One of which is a lovely lady who I had been dating a few years ago who has an autistic son (She has asperges). Now during the time I was dating her I asked her if I had it and she gave me a link to an online test. I was half joking and I kinda wanted to prove I didn't have it but wanted a true result. However, some questions on the test I put "No" to as I didn't really know what they meant. I had a score of about 32 or 34 if I remember out of 50 which was just near the borderline. "Great" I thought. It says to see my doctor. Well. I certainly know what I doctor is likely to say with a 50/50 score! So back then I wanted to ask while at the doctors for other things but was too nurvous so couldn't get myself to ask. Brain blnk times due to nurves, and then default setting so I talked about other conditions which were the origional reason for the visit.
However, after watching this lady on youtube I thought I have to ask. To make sure I asked, I took my Mum with me as I often come out of doctors not remembering what they said.. Just haveing a second person to be there to remember helps.
Somehow I did manage to ask and the doctor said "Symptoms?" My mind went blank again. I already said about faceblindness which my doctor didn't see it was an issue in itself. (My Mum also has had it). Well. My Mum said about how I have difficulties getting or rather, staying in a job as if I get a lot of energy loss situations I eventually hand in my notice if things get too much and even part time jobs are scarce down here, and I am petrified to sign on so I don't.
Then I was able to speak but I didn't say much. She said it was doubtful they will consider me... But they did. I was so relieved. But it is quite a wait. I wanted to see if the energy loss was linked to the autistic spectrum in any way as I have had it on and off since I was seven or just before, and I tend to get it a few times a day on occasions these days. So after asking on a model railway site someow showed me the link to the online test so i took it again. I hardly remembered any of the questions from before at all, but I was armed in that I now knew what some of the technical terms meant. So I did it and my score was 41 out of 50. Umm. Scary!
Well. As on the model railway site I asked... I was boring them, so I thought "They'll know!" So I took the very unusual step (For me) of joining another site and here I am.
And since joining and asking questions I have been numb with shock after shock after shock! In a surreal world of denial but also of discovery. Such a wierd place to be.
So am I on the spectrum? I don't have a clue. But if I am I won't be too surprized! If I am not I have many questions to ask!
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02 Jun 2019, 11:57 pm
