questioning my whole identity

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Welcome to those who have posted for the first time in this thread. Self-diagnosis is a first step for most of us who weren't diagnosed as a child. Those in this thread that have professed to be self-diagnosed at this point are doing it in exactly the right way: You've made it clear to others here that you're self-diagnosed rather than being professionally diagnosed.

If you continue to post, please also continue to reiterate that you're self-diagnosed. The concern that I and many others here have is when a self-diagnosed person drops that distinction entirely and posts that they ARE autistic when they haven't been diagnosed. I know I'm only one person and I'm not the owner of WP, but in my opinion it's wrong for a person to do that.

I do understand your point and why this is important to you and the community. However, I got to admit that it add to my feeling of not belonging anywhere ; I do not feel like I'm like the NTs, but I'm also not really autistic either unless I can prove it. Also, I fear that even if I obtained a diagnostic, I might not be ''autistic enough'' to really fit in, which adds to my doubts about getting or not an evaluation...

Hello from Peta

You are Yourself, not a diagnosis or lack of it.
You are welcome on WP, regardless on weather you are autistic, borderline autistic, other neurodiverse or neurotypical. You are welcome to explore yourself here and share your experiences as Yourself. It's a right place for it.
Being clear about your diagnostic situation is helpful to avoid unnecessary confusion, that's it.