Making it Better: The future of WP
Teach51 wrote:
I firmly believe that the problem is often in the tone of the post and not alwaysthe main message. Using "in my opinion", "I see it differently," "that's one way of looking at it but....." Not negating someone elses point of view but validating their right to differ and offering an alternative POV promotes friendly discussion rather than deteriorating into a free for all.
Calling someone a flea ridden mangy dog who should be avoided at all cost and should be forced off the forum is just disagreeing I guess
Unless you say it to a left leaning person, but it’s ok to do to a non leftist, mean imagine if say Pepe called a woman here a nasty std ridden slut who should be avoided he’d be banned, and have his post deleted. I think what’s worse is the modding is selective I’d be all for no mods no rules so I can tell certain people what they are.
Wp is no different then middle school.
_________________
There is no place for me in the world. I'm going into the wilderness, probably to die
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
I firmly believe that the problem is often in the tone of the post and not alwaysthe main message. Using "in my opinion", "I see it differently," "that's one way of looking at it but....." Not negating someone elses point of view but validating their right to differ and offering an alternative POV promotes friendly discussion rather than deteriorating into a free for all.
Unfortunately, prefacing a character attack with "In my opinion", isn't going to mitigate the incidents of bullying.
It may make it easier for personal attacks to fly under the radar, and actually be excused.
That would compound the problem and make moderation more difficult.
People could say "In my opinion, you're a (personal attack of character)", and then they think it's acceptable. Others would likely defend them, saying "it was their opinion!!" without noticing the attack itself was against our rules. The victim's feelings would be dismissed, for whinging about another member's "opinion". Then, we would have debates about freedom of speech and censorship ... when the real topic should be "personal attacks" and personal accountability.
Most members who are guilty of hurling personal attacks already pad their wording so they'll seem innocent. They like to pretend they didn't mean it, or that their words are taken out of context. Adding an additional buffer of "It's my opinion" to a personal attack will only strengthen their sense of entitlement.
The bottom line is that we have to stop insulting other people, and pretending we have a right to voice insulting "opinions" about other members.
"In my opinion" is great when two people are having an open and objective debate about a topic, but not when someone wants to attack another person or break the rules using belittling language.
That's the problem we are trying to address.
I am inclined not to agree with your logic, here.
How can an insult not be seen as an insult?
To borrow from my blunt idol and mentor, not to mention my unrequited love (oh dear, I just did ), Fnord: Examples?
A while back there was a discussion about calling someone "Ignorant", which was deemed OK, but calling someone an "Ignorant bigot", was not. The word "Bigot" tipped the scales over the line, to mix metaphors.
Edit:
On reflection, people can use "trigger words or phrases" to hide the insult.
That was done to me for many years when I was being gang stalked.
But in real life, they conditioned me into reacting when someone whistled.
Yes, this actually happened.
Being thumped in the back whilst shopping, was less an insult or intimidation than a physical assault, though.
Last edited by Pepe on 19 Aug 2020, 1:38 am, edited 3 times in total.
sly279 wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
I firmly believe that the problem is often in the tone of the post and not alwaysthe main message. Using "in my opinion", "I see it differently," "that's one way of looking at it but....." Not negating someone elses point of view but validating their right to differ and offering an alternative POV promotes friendly discussion rather than deteriorating into a free for all.
Calling someone a flea ridden mangy dog who should be avoided at all cost and should be forced off the forum is just disagreeing I guess
Unless you say it to a left leaning person, but it’s ok to do to a non leftist, mean imagine if say Pepe called a woman here a nasty std ridden slut who should be avoided he’d be banned, and have his post deleted. I think what’s worse is the modding is selective I’d be all for no mods no rules so I can tell certain people what they are.
Wp is no different then middle school.
Damn!! !
I was sure I deleted that rant in the rant thread before anyone saw it. EEP!
Teach51
Veteran
Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,808
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
I firmly believe that the problem is often in the tone of the post and not alwaysthe main message. Using "in my opinion", "I see it differently," "that's one way of looking at it but....." Not negating someone elses point of view but validating their right to differ and offering an alternative POV promotes friendly discussion rather than deteriorating into a free for all.
Unfortunately, prefacing a character attack with "In my opinion", isn't going to mitigate the incidents of bullying.
It may make it easier for personal attacks to fly under the radar, and actually be excused.
That would compound the problem and make moderation more difficult.
People could say "In my opinion, you're a (personal attack of character)", and then they think it's acceptable. Others would likely defend them, saying "it was their opinion!!" without noticing the attack itself was against our rules. The victim's feelings would be dismissed, for whinging about another member's "opinion". Then, we would have debates about freedom of speech and censorship ... when the real topic should be "personal attacks" and personal accountability.
Most members who are guilty of hurling personal attacks already pad their wording so they'll seem innocent. They like to pretend they didn't mean it, or that their words are taken out of context. Adding an additional buffer of "It's my opinion" to a personal attack will only strengthen their sense of entitlement.
The bottom line is that we have to stop insulting other people, and pretending we have a right to voice insulting "opinions" about other members.
"In my opinion" is great when two people are having an open and objective debate about a topic, but not when someone wants to attack another person or break the rules using belittling language.
That's the problem we are trying to address.
When rules are broken it is easy to identify and I have read your posts an seen how hard you have worked to bring offending posts to the mods attention.
I was actually aiming at members who are not intending to offend but do so by their choice of words,unintentionally. The bullies know exactly how to beat the moderation system and get away with it. There has to be accountability for belittling, harassing and mocking. If a member shows no remorse or willingness to modify their behaviour after repeatedly trampling on people's feelings, then some action must be taken against them. All it takes is to say "I still think I am right but I am sorry I hurt your feelings." If someone can't do that then their motives are suspect.
_________________
My best will just have to be good enough.
Amity wrote:
Ok so far
-It's up to the new mod team to make the future of WP better.
-The rules need to be enforced consistently and fairly, including people who are friendly with the team, no exceptions.... I suggest a middle ground between the extremes of those sensitized and those hardened by lifes experiences.
Neither should take precedence over the other. Both are a valid response to the environment.
-All forms of communication (including what the neurotypical community would call bluntness) should be seen as normal.
Some good progress, I believe we will need more for positive change to be sustainable, other solutions that dont involve software changes?
For self moderation: Everyone needs to familiarize themselves with the rules, especially veterans, any thoughts?
-It's up to the new mod team to make the future of WP better.
-The rules need to be enforced consistently and fairly, including people who are friendly with the team, no exceptions.... I suggest a middle ground between the extremes of those sensitized and those hardened by lifes experiences.
Neither should take precedence over the other. Both are a valid response to the environment.
-All forms of communication (including what the neurotypical community would call bluntness) should be seen as normal.
Some good progress, I believe we will need more for positive change to be sustainable, other solutions that dont involve software changes?
For self moderation: Everyone needs to familiarize themselves with the rules, especially veterans, any thoughts?
Have there been any suggestions or solutions since this point, I've read the pages but I may have missed something?
Regarding application of rules:
"I suggest a middle ground between the extremes of those sensitized and those hardened by lifes experiences.
Neither should take precedence over the other. Both are a valid response to the environment."
Thoughts?
_________________
http://www.neurovoice.org
An ASD inclusive peer-orientated space for social interaction and support, where the Autism Spectrum is the norm, all are welcome.
Amity wrote:
Amity wrote:
Ok so far
-It's up to the new mod team to make the future of WP better.
-The rules need to be enforced consistently and fairly, including people who are friendly with the team, no exceptions.... I suggest a middle ground between the extremes of those sensitized and those hardened by lifes experiences.
Neither should take precedence over the other. Both are a valid response to the environment.
-All forms of communication (including what the neurotypical community would call bluntness) should be seen as normal.
Some good progress, I believe we will need more for positive change to be sustainable, other solutions that dont involve software changes?
For self moderation: Everyone needs to familiarize themselves with the rules, especially veterans, any thoughts?
-It's up to the new mod team to make the future of WP better.
-The rules need to be enforced consistently and fairly, including people who are friendly with the team, no exceptions.... I suggest a middle ground between the extremes of those sensitized and those hardened by lifes experiences.
Neither should take precedence over the other. Both are a valid response to the environment.
-All forms of communication (including what the neurotypical community would call bluntness) should be seen as normal.
Some good progress, I believe we will need more for positive change to be sustainable, other solutions that dont involve software changes?
For self moderation: Everyone needs to familiarize themselves with the rules, especially veterans, any thoughts?
Have there been any suggestions or solutions since this point, I've read the pages but I may have missed something?
Regarding application of rules:
"I suggest a middle ground between the extremes of those sensitized and those hardened by lifes experiences.
Neither should take precedence over the other. Both are a valid response to the environment."
Thoughts?
On what page did you post that?
I have said exactly the same, later.
I have met with "Snowflake" resistance, though.
That sounds reasonable, but begs the question if it's reasonable to expect more hardened individuals to put up with more excrement simply because of being as they are, and on the flip side if it's reasonable to lower the threshold for more sensitive people for the same reason. Even a strong person has their limit, and when nearing that limit being told "but you're tough and you can take it" does not seem like it would be helpful.
_________________
I'm bored out of my skull, let's play a different game. Let's pay a visit down below and cast the world in flame.
Pepe it was 53 or 54 I think.
_________________
http://www.neurovoice.org
An ASD inclusive peer-orientated space for social interaction and support, where the Autism Spectrum is the norm, all are welcome.
Wolfram87 wrote:
That sounds reasonable, but begs the question if it's reasonable to expect more hardened individuals to put up with more excrement simply because of being as they are, and on the flip side if it's reasonable to lower the threshold for more sensitive people for the same reason. Even a strong person has their limit, and when nearing that limit being told "but you're tough and you can take it" does not seem like it would be helpful.
There is the forgotten middle group, quite symptomatic of the climate today I suppose, what about them, why should those of us sensitized or hardened take precedence because we are shouting louder?
_________________
http://www.neurovoice.org
An ASD inclusive peer-orientated space for social interaction and support, where the Autism Spectrum is the norm, all are welcome.
sly279 wrote:
Calling someone a flea ridden mangy dog who should be avoided at all cost and should be forced off the forum is just disagreeing I guess
This is a plain insult that does not even try to pretend to attack an opinion.
I'm sorry it happened to you on WP. I'm starting to understand why some members were so concerned - I was absent in late June when, I presume, it all took place.
It should have never happened and if it did, a mod should have firmly stepped in, no matter what political, religious or philosophical opinions had been exchanged before.
_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
Amity wrote:
There is the forgotten middle group, quite symptomatic of the climate today I suppose, what about them, why should those of us sensitized or hardened take precedence because we are shouting louder?
Well, that is of course also an aspect. I guess what I'm really asking is how wide is this middle ground. I realise it's a difficult question to give a tangible answer to, so maybe I'm just an aspie looking for hard points of reference where none is to be found.
_________________
I'm bored out of my skull, let's play a different game. Let's pay a visit down below and cast the world in flame.
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'm confused about the topic here. Are we still talking about how to help WP or is that passé?
It boggles the mind that with all the problems we've been having here in the last year or so, people still use this thread to harp about Fnord
kraftiekortie wrote:
I wish some MORE would return. Show that they’re not intimidated by the schmucks in our midst.
The majority of the membership would take them over all the people whose only motivation is to bully and show off their superiority.
That’s my whole point, really. The Amiable Ones should wield their strength in numbers.
The majority of the membership would take them over all the people whose only motivation is to bully and show off their superiority.
That’s my whole point, really. The Amiable Ones should wield their strength in numbers.
Not everybody left because they felt being intimidated. Some of us see it as a matter of self-respect not to be part of a group that allows or even encourages bullying and ganging up on people we don't like or disagree with.
Most of the people who left were not part of the problem and I seriously doubt they will return unless something changes significantly.
It's not the membership's job to deal (or just put up) with these "schmucks" when half of the forum becomes impossible to use because they were not moderated. By the time the feuds, grudges and pettiness born mostly in the PPR spilt into the Haven, Random, and all over the place, it was too late for those of us who have been making efforts to keep things civil and even mediate conflicts for years to do much.
_________________
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley
IsabellaLinton wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I believe there must be rules against bullies.....and that they must be enforced.
But I also believe in “strength in numbers” and that allowing one bully to ruin one’s experience is detrimental. This sort of takes away the impact and the strength of those who are not bullies. And it gives me the feeling that the bullies have credence and that the rank and file (the main body of WP) does not. And that the bullies feed off this credence.
This is my subjective impression.
But I also believe in “strength in numbers” and that allowing one bully to ruin one’s experience is detrimental. This sort of takes away the impact and the strength of those who are not bullies. And it gives me the feeling that the bullies have credence and that the rank and file (the main body of WP) does not. And that the bullies feed off this credence.
This is my subjective impression.
I agree. Unfortunately that's a moderation issue, and not really something that members can fix on their own. It's why WP is losing members, and it's why this thread was created. I've been trying to highlight the areas where our moderation needs to be more consistent to improve the experience for all members while respecting Alex's rules.
Far too many good people are lost and disillusioned right now, and it doesn't need to be this way.
This, in a nutshell. But as long as people use this thread to make small talk or shred Fnord to pieces we don't have to discuss the real problems.
Anybody can go back through this thread and see how many moderators participated here and how many of the questions regarding past and future moderation were answered. Not even one of my questions regarding the moderation process has been answered and I haven't seen yours being addressed either. It's easier to let them get lost in the sea of off-topic posts I guess
_________________
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley
Wolfram87 wrote:
Amity wrote:
There is the forgotten middle group, quite symptomatic of the climate today I suppose, what about them, why should those of us sensitized or hardened take precedence because we are shouting louder?
Well, that is of course also an aspect. I guess what I'm really asking is how wide is this middle ground. I realise it's a difficult question to give a tangible answer to, so maybe I'm just an aspie looking for hard points of reference where none is to be found.
I dont think it can be defined clearly, it is a case by case basis, this is the issue with the rules, they will always be interpreted differently.
That requires unbiased decision making and significant levels of trust in those making the decisions.
Openness and transparency is how this would be ideally achieved, not a debate, but decisions that can be verified by others, where there is concern about impartiality or fairness.
It's why I've suggested before that WP needs roles outside of moderators, to properly accommodate our autistic abilities.
Private information remains confidential, yet by having a small group of people assigned to verify these decisions there is less pressure on the mod team to behave as NTs, leading to this repeated cycle of mod burn out.
I'm suggesting an internal verification, a sampling of decisions made, to identify issues and promote trust.
If issues are identified, then all decisions will need examination, this is about constructive feedback and support as we often need as people on the autism spectrum.
Just ideas for potential long term solutions.
_________________
http://www.neurovoice.org
An ASD inclusive peer-orientated space for social interaction and support, where the Autism Spectrum is the norm, all are welcome.
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