Making it Better: The future of WP

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Too amiable.

Not enough picking on your own species.

Conflict, grabbing onto minutiae, making a mountain over them, and intentional meanness,
Unrepentant rudeness, etc
is what has spurred the past few pages of tthis thread it seems.

Esp I'm guessing with the tension from this past covid19 lockdown and the fallout from that...

Make it worse. 10 times more hurtful. I'll volunteer as a target.

I think this started a long time ago but some members have engaged in covert bullying - that is a fact.

It is also a fact that some people misinterpret behaviour as covert bullying.

toxic behaviour has a caused an atmosphere of paranoia for some.

Let me try a few of these sweeping generalizations ...

• "All successful people lied, cheated, and stole their way to the top."

• "All neurotypicals are shallow, vain, and lacking in empathy for others."

• "All smart people derive great pleasure from making others look stupid."

• "All people in relationships are that way only because of luck, not attractiveness."

• "All employed people are hired and/or promoted only because of luck, not skill or ability."

I have read these, or variations of these, on this website, and no one has been banned for saying them.  So how far should bigotry be prosecuted?  Is it only women and minorities that should enjoy the benefits of anti-bigotry laws or rules?  Should sweeping generalizations be banned as well?  How about other fallacies of reason?

If the alleged bullying was indeed covert, then how was it "discovered"?Ah-HAH!  I have my answer!

Some people imagine personal attacks where there are none.

Fallacies of reason are to be expected when any group of people chat. They also spark discussions to put things in a broader perspective and explore aspects with people's own experiences added on.Discussions are fluid.
Walk around in normal life and see how it goes.
Most of what you've written seems to have been examples of people venting and a portion of what is then discussed and gone over not something written in stone or printed in a freaking textbook.


But some take the opportunity to pretend that is not the case-- to get out whatever moral superiority and poisonous sanctimony they needed to expunge probably in real life but online it's easier to do it

Yes, there is covert bullying and there is misinterpretation of innocent behaviors as covert bullying.
There are also a lot of triggers that may have effect of real covert bullying despite no such intention.
These situations need to be clarified, so the accidental bully can learn how to correct their behaviors.
In drastic cases, some users may be told not to interact with some other users.

If a case of real covert bullying was managed that way and it led to improvement of behavior, I don't give a damn about the original evil intention. Yes, I'm pragmatic.

They do. Or they read something applied to a group and take it as a personal attack. In which case they are free to fire back or free to....Here's the word... In shimmering rainbow colours... Could it be...

IGNORE

Yes, that would be a far better way of handling alleged cases of "covert bullying" than 50+ pages of accusations and no proof.

Probably the same way anything is discovered , reports , PM's and moderator interpretation

I don't have access to my old account otherwise I could send you the PM's I have for evidence.

If you want one example:

A member here gaslighted and manipulated me , they then created a sock puppet to claim I was a sock puppet of another member they thought I was. This is all proved and documented.

Yeah, people generalizations have been banned for a long time.

I'm sorry that happened.

Still, I take issue with the idea of "covert" activity that everybody (except me) seems to see everywhere, especially that the word "covert" means "hidden".  How can something be so obvious to so many people if it is hidden?  If it is so obvious, then why refer to it as "hidden" in the first place?

It's like saying that a hidden 18-wheeler sneaked up behind me, covertly sounded its 140-dB air-horn, and I was the only one who didn't hear or see it.

Granted, I haven't been here that long, but I don't see this covert activity either. So much so that I reached out to someone here to point me to it. Still couldn't see it though.

Sorry but I don't have the energy to explain in detail what covert bullying and it's many forms are but if you are a victim of it eventually you will be mentally affected by it , you are sometimes the last to know that it is happening.

If you are genuinely interested , there are numerous articles that could explain it better than I could.

Maybe you were the one driving the 18-wheeler and too used to the sound to notice or deaf to it?

although...
apparently that is my case in regular life but have noticed it's stated by the ppl who dont want to see what I've pointed out about their actual bullying over time...or 2 cases actual gaslighting. (Yess.. With proof )

I did not think on WP people are generally given to such accusations with manipulative intent like 'gaslighting'...


except possibly when talking about politics ...which I guess is only because of how divisive and combative things have become in real life. Or because a certain person represents to them ppl they have had issues with in real life even if that person is coming from an entirely different place

By osmosis things take on that tone here too but the trouble is we are not intrinsically skilled enough to know what we're doing half the time if we actually attempt to mimic it, so it becomes a muddled mess and lots of theory of mind and other actual Autistic issues present themselves no matter how intelligent the person thinks they are we all have blind spots .. As it's a spectrum, the interpretations and harsh views and emotional ranges keep conflicting because in each persons mind, their reality is truth.

Those who seem more affected by ASD in this regard don't see the point of those who aren't and vice versa. But 'more/less' also varies. .

in all that mess ppl who are expert assh0les/manipulators/bullies/intentionally cruel jerks.. have a 'free for all' as they wish and can use whatever explanation (above) to defend themselves

Writing on phone in a rush as usual so plz understand that too

Last edited by blooiejagwa on 25 Aug 2020, 10:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

^^^No worries, Ferris.  I guess it's good for me that any "covert bullying" directed at me flies so low under my radar that I simply don't notice it.  Heck, I don't usually know that I'm being gaslighted until someone else points it out!

Last edited by Fnord on 25 Aug 2020, 10:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks dude