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ToughDiamond
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14 May 2021, 5:25 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Yeah I remember when oliveoilmom called her out and told her how her post is actually sounding as and few other members chimed in saying they felt the same way. I don't think they had the balls to write it fearing it would make them sound mean and looking bad. But she didn't really cared what people thought of her so she spoke her mind.

I've noticed that snowball effect in not-particularly-autistic groups, where nobody's objecting to a thing until one does and then one by one they discover that most of them were just holding back. It seems a shame when Aspies daren't show their natural bluntness. I suppose it's because life soon teaches them to be scared of saying what they think.



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14 May 2021, 5:28 pm

VegetableMan wrote:
The first time I received that message, it really effected my self-esteem.

I must confess my first thought when it happened to me was "oh crap, what have I done now?" But I felt better when I saw the thread I'd been following was still open to me.



League_Girl
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16 May 2021, 8:01 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Yeah I remember when oliveoilmom called her out and told her how her post is actually sounding as and few other members chimed in saying they felt the same way. I don't think they had the balls to write it fearing it would make them sound mean and looking bad. But she didn't really cared what people thought of her so she spoke her mind.

I've noticed that snowball effect in not-particularly-autistic groups, where nobody's objecting to a thing until one does and then one by one they discover that most of them were just holding back. It seems a shame when Aspies daren't show their natural bluntness. I suppose it's because life soon teaches them to be scared of saying what they think.



When they do, they get painted as meanies and bullies here. I have seen it elsewhere where someone mentions they joined here and left and say people were mean here. Even my name was mentioned one time and I wondered "what did I say here that got interpreted as me being mean?" 8O

But some people just only want to hear what they want to hear and when they don't hear what they wanted to hear, they feel bullied for it. One rule of thumb is if you don't want honesty, don't ask about it because autism forums is a place to get honesty. Are there people out there that will intentionally say something mean just to troll? Yes but I would expect to not see that here and wouldn't assume people are being mean here on purpose.

Plus some people will feel bullied when you call them out on their inconsistencies or their contradictions because you want a clarification but instead they will feel like they are being called a liar.


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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

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ToughDiamond
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17 May 2021, 12:59 am

League_Girl wrote:
When they do, they get painted as meanies and bullies here. I have seen it elsewhere where someone mentions they joined here and left and say people were mean here. Even my name was mentioned one time and I wondered "what did I say here that got interpreted as me being mean?" 8O

But some people just only want to hear what they want to hear and when they don't hear what they wanted to hear, they feel bullied for it. One rule of thumb is if you don't want honesty, don't ask about it because autism forums is a place to get honesty. Are there people out there that will intentionally say something mean just to troll? Yes but I would expect to not see that here and wouldn't assume people are being mean here on purpose.

Plus some people will feel bullied when you call them out on their inconsistencies or their contradictions because you want a clarification but instead they will feel like they are being called a liar.

I still have trouble understanding why so many people feel so offended by having their ideas questioned, and god help you if you contradict them. Apparently in some circles it's considered rude to say "so what's your point?" Ask them for their evidence is for saying what they did, and they act as if you're picking a fight. To me it's quite simple. If I want to call somebody a liar, I'll say "you're a liar." If I want to accuse them of talking rubbish I'll say "you're talking rubbish." Even the mildest remark like "well, I'm not so sure, because......" seems to get translated as "You idiot!" As for you being a bully, I must have seen hundreds of your posts but I've never seen you have a go at anybody. Still, I don't suppose the whole world can be that thin-skinned.