Should I tell anyone I have Aspergers or not?

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Should I tell?
Yes 59%  59%  [ 16 ]
No 41%  41%  [ 11 ]
Total votes : 27

Fadora
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18 Aug 2010, 12:19 am

Iv'e been in college for 3 years now and I am not registered as a 504 student. Should I ask for extra help or tell my other teachers I have AS. I need extra help with math, but I'm to shy to ask for it. I lost my health benefits because I'm 23, but I was being diagnosed with Aspergers when I was around 13 or so. I didn't get to finish a full diagnosis, but my documents say that I am severe Aspergers. I didn't get an IQ test or a finished over all diagnosis, so I don't know If I have a mixture of AS and Savant. I tend to seclude myself from my classmates. When I was in high school I was registered as a 504 student, but at the time my parents never told me I had AS. I first found out I had AS when I was on my Freshmen year in college. I just got done telling my math teacher that I had it, but I was so embarrassed I started shaking. At school I tend to get a lot of sensory overload, and people who know me know that I am eccentric and quirky. I walk around campus with my headphones on because I'm to nervous to talk to anybody. Also, I have told none of my friends or roommates that I have Aspergers, I guess hence the reason why I've been single for 23 years.



MrXxx
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18 Aug 2010, 1:02 am

Yes, but only if necessary. I took part in an online mentor-ship/internship for about six months, lead by a former instructor. There was a lot of written communication required and, as you might expect, sometimes I don't know the right thing to say or do. As soon as i noticed the program administrator seeming to sense a problem, I wrote to him about Asperger's, and told him I have it. I told him the kinds of things to watch out for in me, and asked him to let me know if he noticed I might need to just shut up and lay low. He was very understanding, and wasn't afraid to tell me to muzzle it once in a while.

It helped.

I wouldn't go telling anyone and everyone though. Most are not going to get it anyway. It takes a lot more than just reading an article or two online to understand it, and wikipedia is a horrendous source. The fact is, you don't have time to educate everyone around you. Not every instructor needs to know, but if you took a course in communication, I might talk to that instructor. The key is to pick only key people who may really need to know, not to spread the word from the mountain tops. A good place to start would be a school counselor. You may have to educate them though.


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pschristmas
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18 Aug 2010, 1:09 am

If you need classroom accommodations, then definitely do so. It doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing thing, though. For instance, you can contact your uni's office of disability services and they will ask you which professors or departments you want notified, if any. You don't have to tell your classmates at all if you don't want to. I'm working with my uni's disability services and DARS offices right now to get a neuropsych eval, and I've opted not to inform any of my professors at this time since I don't feel I really need the sort of in-class help they list in the brochure, but they did ask if I wanted them to contact them for me. If you do need that help, then definitely do get it. Your professors chose to become educators because they want to teach, but they can't help you if they don't know there's a problem or what the problem is.



Fadora
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18 Aug 2010, 1:29 am

Thanks for the replies, I just never seem to know what to do sometimes. I guess I will just tell my teachers about it. I always needed help with mathematics, but I was to afraid to say anything. I also have a speech class I'm attending, but that teacher doesn't know I have Aspergers. I have yet to tell my parents that I told a teacher that I need help. Hopefully they will understand. I think I will hold off on telling friends though. I don't think that they would understand me better knowing that I have it. I just have to have my parents fax over some documents, and hope that the school staff will better understand the way I learn.



MrXxx
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18 Aug 2010, 1:34 am

Sounds like a plan. Speech teacher is a good idea to talk to. I don't think it's necessary to tell every instructor though. Many will never see a problem. For me, I only did it when I thought the social stuff might cause problems. I didn't bring it up as far as understanding class material, but maybe I just didn't need to, or at least thought I didn't. I think if you feel you need to, you probably should. If you can explain it well that is.


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pschristmas
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18 Aug 2010, 1:47 am

It's a good idea to talk to the specific teachers involved. Do check your uni's website, though; you may need to formally register with the office of disability services in order to request in-class accommodations, if you need them.

Good luck in the future.



Fadora
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18 Aug 2010, 2:33 am

I will guys thanks for the support and info. In speech class it was pretty hard to talk in front of the whole class. We had to talk about 3 things about ourselves, which I started to stutter and looked down a lot. I think a lot of people think I'm odd because they don't know what I have.



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18 Aug 2010, 8:05 am

I am very picky about who I tell. I had a teacher who hated me and I made the mistake of telling her. She knew enough about AS to be able to push my buttons and cause me to have a meltdown at a bad time. I do tell close friends, but not friends who aren't that close.

I considered the mentally disabled thing when I was in college - for about a nanosecond. They give you a little extra time on tests or have people give it to you orally and things like that. Other than that, it has no benefit and I turned it down. You just need to look at what your section 504 thing will do for you. Chances are, not much.

Aspies are not any more shy than NT's. Its a myth that aspies are all shy. However, we do like being left alone and its easy to mistake that trait for shyness. So there is nothing specific about AS that prevents you from pulling the headphones off and actually talking to people. In fact, if you really want to succeed at life, you should start talking to people when the opportunity arises. Otherwise, you are going to dig yourself a hole and get stuck there.

Successfully integrating with NT's is rather difficult for an aspie, but you CAN do it if you work hard enough. Think of it like you are trying to learn a new language. Its total confusion at first, but eventually you start thinking in that language if you get good enough. Try to find a girl to be your study partner for class. The informal relationship helps you to learn to properly interact with females. Not only that, but more girls will say yes to being a study partner and no if you ask to buy them lunch.



Fadora
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18 Aug 2010, 4:24 pm

Just got back from 3 classes. For some reason they filter out ip addresses of chatting websites 8O. The only reason that I considered a 504, is because I tend to need one on one attention for subjects that aren't my interests like Math or Speech. I know that all AS aren't shy, but Iv'e always been really shy myself. I did talk to a few people in class, but I tend to cut it short because I can't think of anything else to say besides my interests. I have not told my closest friends that I have Aspergers. I guess I'm afraid of what they would think of me. Most of my interests are in science, music, and art. So a lot of people find me a little strange. I do have a friend who is a girl, that introduced me to two of her female friends and they acted like I wasn't there. It's just hard to meet new people, when most people treat you like your invisible. I'll just keep on trying because that's all I can do for now. :?



nomii
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20 Aug 2010, 2:15 pm

It really depends on who to tell.
If it's someone you feel closer to and is mature enough to understand your condition, then it's ok to be open about it. I'm sure they'll accept you for who you are. You just have to stand up for yourself and be motivated to improve.
However avoid talking about it to shallow people or they'll tease you and be like "ASS BURGERS?! OMG WHAT IS THAT?".
However not everyone knows about the condition which in this case you have to explain it to them. Hopefully they become aware of the condition and accept you for who you are.

I tell most of my closest friends about my condition because if I don't my friends would be suspicious about my quirkiness. AS is something that people should not look down upon, even if they think it's strange. It's heartbreaking just like opening up the closet.

And no, I would never tell that to the profs.



Fadora
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20 Aug 2010, 6:12 pm

Well good news is that I just told my friend I had AS, and she said she actually had another friend that has it too :roll: . I think I kind of got lucky because she knew what it was, even though she doesn't know all of my symptoms. As for telling my teachers, I'm going to transfer a 504 form and info. from my old high school. I think it will make more sense to them if they know why I'm so quiet. I was also told that I was suppost to get a further diagnosis. I didn't take an IQ test or some other tests. But once I get my health insurance back I can see a psychologist. I chose to tell my teachers because I need that extra one on one help. It's hard to pay attention to a subject when you have narrow interests.



astaut
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22 Aug 2010, 11:06 pm

I would tell disability support services/academic services and they will tell your teacher (they don't specify the condition unless you wish for them to, which is nice), but I wouldn't tell peers. My DSS/academic support person knows but no one else.


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Fadora
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22 Aug 2010, 11:27 pm

Iv'e got to go to the disability office this week when I can. I was just told that I need further testing in the Aspergers department. I was diagnosed by a pediatrician when I was 5 years old of having ADD. When I lived overseas at age 14 I went to a psychologist and she told my parents that I was Aspergers, but that she needed to do more testing. I moved and was unable to get tested, so on my 504 it still says ADD. I'm just hoping I can get a free diagnosis with the school, or get my health insurance back. I was miss-diagnosed when I was young and a lot of my teachers thought I had ADD. I just hope that the office can help me out. :?



neves
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24 Aug 2010, 2:00 am

Fadora wrote:
I didn't get to finish a full diagnosis, but my documents say that I am severe Aspergers. I didn't get an IQ test or a finished over all diagnosis, so I don't know If I have a mixture of AS and Savant.


I never got my full diagnosis, but sometimes I run into Asperger's related issues in university. My close-knit group of friends (five of them) know about my Asperger's, because I felt they needed to see that if I were ever rude or weird, they could tell me about it if they felt uncomfortable. Also, I told two professor's within my chosen department that I'll be studying and one day hopefully working for.

If you have problems with maths, for example, you could maybe approach your professor and tell them what issues you are dealing with and, beforehand, try to figure out specifically how they relate to Asperger's. I found that it was very helpful to say "I have Asperger's Syndrome, which means I find it hard to figure out abstract concepts or words you offer during classes, because I'm afraid that if I do think about what they might mean, I'll be wrong. How do you think I can learn to relate to things I know already and have a more open setting about handling abstract concepts?"
I got the greatest answer I've ever gotten in my life, now my teacher and I can work together very well and I enjoy the class so much more!



Fadora
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24 Aug 2010, 10:57 pm

@neves,

Thanks for the advice, it always helps with a second hand opinion. I came down ill this week, so I didn't have a chance to talk to all of my teachers. My mother is sending me some of the 504 paper work from high school. I'm going to find the office after my 3 classes tomorrow. I do have the possibility of getting my health insurance back this October. My father is retired military, so my health benefits were cut off because i'm 23, but a bill might pass that turns the age to 26. I could use those extra 3 years 8O. If I do get it back, I want to find a psychologist to test me some more. Until then, all I can do is hope it passes. :?



Brianm
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31 Aug 2010, 7:30 pm

I wouldn't dare tell anybody.