Page 1 of 4 [ 53 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

redlightgreenarrow
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jan 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 8

29 Jan 2011, 11:46 pm

I am an aspie, and I absolutely despised my high school years. I feel as though that place did nothing but ruin me, and still feel depressed about it in college. I have one really great friend, but when we get into fights, I feel that I have no one to run to.

I live in an apartment with 4 roommates, and a lot of the times I feel as though I am the odd man out, it doesn't help that my roommates are the traditional college kids, and I have no social life. One time I heard them talk behind my back, and even made fun of me for having Asperger's, which I heard through the wall, when I was in my room. It seems like they just didn't know I was home at the time.

I didn't make my first real friend until I was in 12th grade, and didn't, and I guess still don't possess any social skills for me to be able to be fully independent.

I just feel now that I am just in a deep hole of depression. I have a lot of financial issues, and can't even afford to go back to school (I owed the school a lot of money, and that made it so they froze my account and I am now not allowed to sign up for classes until I pay the balance off, which also means I am denied any financial aid.)

I just need to get a few things off of my chest. I felt as though my high school did nothing for me, but set me up for depression in the future (now).



dunbots
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jan 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,721
Location: Washington, USA

30 Jan 2011, 12:02 am

edit



Last edited by dunbots on 03 Feb 2011, 11:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nosirrom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 683
Location: Inside my cranium.

30 Jan 2011, 12:28 am

Yeap I hated school. It was only now, my grade 12 year, that I actually enjoyed some school. I took acting class.
my teacher always talked about how people are insane, how the world is crazy. And I can be myself in acting more than anywhere else. In our play I got to be a Father who was paranoid.

Here is an example of my lines:
"They'll hear you, Bobby don't be naive! The government has been run by aliens since 1960. The last time we had a bald president. Aliens have full heads of hair, thats how you can tell them apart from normal people. And they don't need to use hair care products. There is just something in their scalp that keeps their hair bouncy and fresh!"

I could stare blankly into space as I said them. I could yell in peoples' faces and whatnot. I guess it was more of a way of relieving pressure. But since my teacher puts so much emphasis on being yourself.. I got better at being myself.

The rest of my classes suck though.



daydreamer84
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world

30 Jan 2011, 1:59 am

I hated grades 9 and 10 , loved grade 11, hated (and was depressed) in grade 12, but loved and did very well in OAC grade 13 (in Canada when I was in high school we had grade 13..........I am old=) I think the variability had to do with my emotional problems............ but also I liked the higher grades a lot better because there were fewer required courses and more freedom to choose. Also bullies left me alone by grade 11.......



Wyborne
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jan 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 22
Location: Western New York

30 Jan 2011, 10:38 pm

Oh yeah. I absolutely hated it while on was in it. Yet the ironic thing is looking back on it after 3 and a half years of college, I almost miss the simplicity and easy going nature of it. I swear if I had to go and do it again, I'd make it a much more enjoyable experience.



MyuziqMan
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 25

30 Jan 2011, 11:39 pm

I despised MY high school. I hope that building burns down someday(students and staff excluded obviously)...trust me it takes some real deep trauma to get a man to wish for a building's demise. Mine was the place of so many bad memories. People just took advantage of my confusion. Even women would engage in such a thing(which is why I have a hard time with women), They'd take my favorite hats and throw them in the girls bathroom and say "go get it!" and I'd get it and then I'd be sent to the principal for being a peeping tom or something. I mean seriously, hitting women isn't how I roll, but there are some truly evil and conniving women who just... :evil: Grrr! Like something out of a lifetime movie! I mean what self respecting girl kicks a guy in the balls, steals his food, and bullies him, and then mooches him for money?!

and not to mention my school was a total brothel to be proper about it! Girls would be with one guy and then be with another, and old Myuziq got no love( not that that was a bad thing, the school was #2 in the district for STDs).

Students who went there when I was there and students who go there now are like the most racist people you'll ever meet, and its not that blatant racism where they say "I hate black people," and then your like, "oh okay that's nice to know," its up in the northwest so its that subtle racism that doesn't sound like it hurts but it hurts so much when your the target. kind of like ordering shrimp at a restaurant and being brought fried chicken instead. or something ignorant like that.

When I graduated from that school, I cried. Not because I left but because In my heart I knew some other poor soul was going to have to go through the exact same thing I did.

Unfortunately...I was right.

This only proves my point that there are some kids who just......shouldn't be in school...



Vigilans
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,181
Location: Montreal

31 Jan 2011, 12:28 am

High school was definitely the worst time of my life. I didn't much like elementary school either. Teachers and students were both incredibly mean to me. I could have been an honor roll student every semester if I hadn't have been in such a horrible state of mind all the time. I had the same math teacher for most of high school and she was definitely abusive to me, I was unable to learn in that environment. In private tutoring I discovered I was actually gifted in math. Additionally most of my other teachers were cruel to me. I never got very good grades until around grade 10 when I started to have more confidence in myself after getting contact lenses. I was often needlessly sent to get 'extra help' from certain teachers assistants who were not helpful (often were abusive) and these situations were very stressful for me as they treated me very condescendingly. The fact that I was reading at 9th grade level in 2nd grade or that I was a capable student when not being pushed seems to have been ignored. I never acted up in class, I was basically a ghost, so the fact that a few teachers sent me away for no reason did me a lot of harm, I missed out on a lot of math and french because of this. I guess they sent me away because I often didn't do homework and when I was put on the spot in class I would say nothing and they took this to be arrogance... I had to do all the catching up on my own. I hated high school, it was a horrible experience. I can honestly say I learned nothing there, everything I know is by my own research. College is a lot better but still hasn't been easy for me. At least now I don't have to worry about self-promoting teachers trying to 'help' me. High school would have been great if people had just left me alone



Stellar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,249
Location: California

31 Jan 2011, 7:22 am

I hated high school and so far I'm loving college. High school and the end of middle school were my dark days so to speak.



Kvornan
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 245
Location: Thailand

31 Jan 2011, 8:40 am

I hated high school to the nut-sack. I was bullied by even 11th graders in 12th grade. Even to the level of almost chocking another bully. I really hated it.

Bully free right now in college but substituted by the layers and layers of assignments, whilst I'm still an 8 year old at heart.



AstroGeek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jan 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,582

31 Jan 2011, 3:46 pm

Honestly, high school hasn't been that bad for me. Grade 9 was kind of useless and I won't even talk about middle school, but from grade 10 on its been pretty good. The reason for that is actually quite simple. Starting in grade 10 I was taking advanced classes (the IB program, if anyone knows what that is). That meant the classes were actually interesting and challenging and the work environment was one which worked well for me. Also, it was pretty much the same people in each class, forcing me to make friends. It still wasn't until grade 11 that I made any close friends (and the term "close" is being used loosely here) but thngs have been a lot better. Believe me, there are plenty of people I don't like, although I can never tell if they are actually trying to be friendly or are teasing me and are too subtle for me to be sure. But I still have friends I can go to and who seem to accept me.



Nosirrom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 683
Location: Inside my cranium.

31 Jan 2011, 4:47 pm

I have trouble in biology class. I keep falling asleep. I am fully awake the class before and after bio but I can't stay awake in bio. It is soooo boring. all class all we do is take out a note package which the teachers gave us and listen to the teacher read over the note package. that is the entire class. eventually we have a test. and that is the year.
I love bio. I am getting the highest mark in class... but if I keep falling asleep I don't know if I can keep it up.



redlightgreenarrow
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jan 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 8

04 Feb 2011, 11:28 pm

I have had bullies all throughout high school as well. I felt very lonely, and didn't really know what to do at all. All I wanted was somebody to understand and talk to. Someone I could run to, but I really didn't have anyone to do that.

Now I am in college, and feel in the same boat :(.



orionsjoy
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 3

06 Feb 2011, 12:13 am

I switched school between the fifth and sixth grades hoping another school would help but it didn't. I dropped out of the school system after the eighth grade because I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't handle listening to all the kids talk to each other so easily. I just wanted everyone to shut up and learn like I was trying to do. Though really it was envy for what they had; communication. I would often go into the bathrooms and punch the walls and cry. By the eighth grade I was not attending any classes but one. I would do a years worth of work so I didn't have to go back to class. I couldn't imagine having to go to high school, the thought still terrifies me.

I did however go to college. I did my Bachelors online. I attended grad school but had to drop out because of a medical condition that was aggravated by stress. I have gone back to school in a paralegal program and am finishing up. I don't really talk to anyone but a girl I met in my first class of my first semester. I only ever have one friend if any at a give point in time. I find that is all I can handle and that often gets hard.

I try to keep to myself but it is nice to have someone there. I have always found outcasts like myself to hangout with. They may not have the same problems but they seem to be more understanding and accepting of me. It takes me about a year before I feel comfortable anywhere and I have just hit a year at this school. I am able to talk to a few more people but honestly I don't want to. I love the socialization because I feel like one of them for a moment but it is short lived because I can't talk beyond the class topic or assignment and then only if I am approached.



KBerg
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 400

06 Feb 2011, 2:12 am

Hate is somewhat mild word for what I felt at the time. While there I fantasized almost every day about locking all the exits and setting fire to the building, then sitting outside and just listening to everyone in there die screaming (except for a few select teachers and 4 of my fellow students I liked). Unlike my fellow students I had too strong morals views against doing harm to others to ever seriously consider doing anything like that. Now I want to just not have to go there to vote, every time they hold elections the voting places are in that place. My father's values run too strong in me, I can't not vote, but I feel stupid, weak, and exposed just going in that building to do it and always have to get myself some treat so it doesn't drag my mood down.

Today I, it's a strange thing, I can remember most of my life. Not down to details, but I remember most of my life as happening to me. I don't remember high school. I know it happened. The same way that if I've read a synopsis of a movie I know what happens and if I've seen a trailer I have a few scenes memorized. But all I remember are small fragments. I have no idea if that's normal or if there's just something wrong with my memory. It bothers me that I have such a strong emotional reaction every time something tries to force a recall of those times with the dreaded "Don't you remember me? From high school" even when the fog over it is impenetrable.

I know exactly what you mean by high school doing nothing but setting you up for future misery. Any trust I had towards others at the start of HS, students and authority figures was so eroded by the time I hit college that it took three tries. My third school wasn't even a 'real' college. It was set up to help working electricians transition into the, at the time, brand new job there was a huge demand for: Network Administration. Yeah, even there I had one incident of bullying very late in the later year. But still those middle aged electricians were the finest people I've ever studied with, and that includes my 3 attempts so far at Uni to go from an evaluated Associate's degree to a BS.



Jonsi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,219

06 Feb 2011, 7:41 pm

I am loving high school. Music, chemistry, media arts and a spare. This semester is going to be great. :D I want my weekend to end already because I can't wait for school.



Tory_canuck
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,373
Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

14 Feb 2011, 2:45 am

Liked many of the teachers and one or two students but hated everyone else.....it seemed like it was all of them against me. My vice principal was really good and I liked and respected her.High school was mostly one big putofest.


_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.

ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!