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antifeministfrills
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10 Nov 2012, 6:38 am

It's annoying because while there are good features to it, I find it cruel when for example, a teacher says that one of my ideas is 'boring'. I don't know if it's normal to perceive that comment so negatively, but it seemed to upset me much more than it would others. I didn't cry about it (I'm referring to a particular instance), but I struggle with handing in work to a teacher who is like that, which means failing the class.
I'm not sure whether I have AS; some people think that I do, others don't. I've been assessed before by a student psychologist and according to that assessment I don't have it. According to the test people on WP like, I'm likely an Aspie. I am an introvert, identify with Aron's Highly Sensitive personality trait, and struggle with social anxiety. My IQ isn't in the gifted range but I suspect that there's a discrepancy between my verbal and performance IQs. I get along best with 'gifted' people (birds of a feather flock together?) but I don't know if that's because they tend to be social outliers like myself. I think of myself as exceptionally stupid but also pretty smart in ways (although I'm self-conscious about saying that - I must emphasize that just because I acknowledge that I'm decent at some things doesn't mean I think I'm perfect). There's some overlap with introvertedness, giftedness, social anxiety, HSPness, and AS, which is why I brought up those things. I know none of you can diagnose me, and I feel too embarrassed to bring it up at a doctor's appointment. I just thought I'd share some thoughts. I feel like people will think I want the label to be a special snowflake, or that I'm silly to think I could have it because I can make eye contact and I'm bad at maths. The truth is that I'm really struggling with life, although I'm the kind of person who 'slips through the net' due to my quietness and my difficulty with communicating. Makes me wish I was the histrionic type rather than the reflective type, if you know what I mean.



Jenibear
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10 Nov 2012, 7:08 am

I don't think that's an abnormal reaction. I would find it highly discouraging if a teacher told me that, and would probably feel just as self conscious about anything else I did in that class as well. As far as seeking a diagnoses, don't be embarrassed to bring it up during an appointment, it's their job to try and help you right? I could see how it might feel weird to suggest it, but I think it would help talking to someone other than a student psych about something like this. I can also really relate to where you said you think of yourself as "exeptionally stupid" with some exeptions, and further down where you said you can't do math. I can't do math either. I've stopped being able to comprehend math since 5th grade. You sound very much like myself in a lot of what you wrote. I can't make eye contact, but I am practicing. I don't have AS though, I have classic Autism.



profofhumanities
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10 Nov 2012, 11:47 am

I do hope you will muster the courage for a formal evaluation. I get a sense that the not-knowing is weighing on you.
You are certainly correct about all the cross-contamination of symptoms with giftedness and such. For years I thought my son had really bad ADHD and an IQ in the severely gifted category (over 160, like his dad). At that point, I had not heard of HFA or AS and thought of autism in terms of Rainman. No way did my kid have an ASD.
Well, I was wrong. It took some net surfing for me to put the signs together and then find someone to do a diagnosis. Sure enough, my son has it AND my husband has it. The more I learn, the more I see signs in myself, lately wondering if I should be screened as well. My hunch is we will both discover we have traits but do not meet the criteria for a full diagnosis. (Your original post is something I could easily have said myself.)
Maybe we could be "testing buddies," kind of like a weight loss support system, but for getting tested. I'll get evaluated if you will too and we can talk each other through our experiences.
Want to try?


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antifeministfrills
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10 Nov 2012, 5:48 pm

profofhumanities wrote:
I do hope you will muster the courage for a formal evaluation. I get a sense that the not-knowing is weighing on you.
You are certainly correct about all the cross-contamination of symptoms with giftedness and such. For years I thought my son had really bad ADHD and an IQ in the severely gifted category (over 160, like his dad). At that point, I had not heard of HFA or AS and thought of autism in terms of Rainman. No way did my kid have an ASD.
Well, I was wrong. It took some net surfing for me to put the signs together and then find someone to do a diagnosis. Sure enough, my son has it AND my husband has it. The more I learn, the more I see signs in myself, lately wondering if I should be screened as well. My hunch is we will both discover we have traits but do not meet the criteria for a full diagnosis. (Your original post is something I could easily have said myself.)
Maybe we could be "testing buddies," kind of like a weight loss support system, but for getting tested. I'll get evaluated if you will too and we can talk each other through our experiences.
Want to try?


You'll have to pay for an evaluation, right?



profofhumanities
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10 Nov 2012, 7:31 pm

...there is that pesky payment issue. Some places will use a sliding scale for charging. I guess it depends on were you go for the testing.


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antifeministfrills
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11 Nov 2012, 6:11 am

profofhumanities wrote:
...there is that pesky payment issue. Some places will use a sliding scale for charging. I guess it depends on were you go for the testing.


I was asking about you. Thankfully, living in the UK, I shouldn't have to pay. But you think it's worth getting a diagnosis? To tell the truth, I'm having issues which I think is a good reason to seek one out.



profofhumanities
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11 Nov 2012, 11:05 am

I would have to pay a co-pay to meet my insurance company's policy, but that's OK. I just think I'd like to know officially, one way or the other.


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littlelily613
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11 Nov 2012, 2:55 pm

You have two things kind of going on here, so I'll touch on both.

Some professors are pricks, yes; however, some REALLY do just want to help you better yourself. That is what university is all about. If people have no room for improvement, they have no need for university. An example that recently happened to me. I brought my first thesis idea to my MA supervisor. I was really excited about it, and I was looking forward to delving into the topic more. Well, he did not even hesitate to tell me that it was not a good idea and that the faculty would likely not find it interesting. Okay....that was disappointing. BUT, he has been doing his job a lot longer than I have been a student (maybe even longer than I've been alive....) He does know what he is talking about, and he is only trying to set me up for success as I move through my MA and into a PhD. It is hard NOT to take it badly if a prof tells you your idea is boring, but there is a chance that s/he only meant that you are capable of more or trying to steer you in a direction that will help you improve yourself as a student and/or a scholar. Take that into consideration when you get negative feedback on your ideas. It might truly be CONSTUCTIVE criticism, rather than just out right nastiness on the part of the prof.

As for the other part of your post, you are right, we cannot diagnose you online. One thing I can say though, is that psychologists are usually more accurate than online tests. Psychologists are humans, so they are not computer-generating a response for you. You said you have anxiety. If your psychologist is correct that you don't have an ASD, it is possible that you feel like you do BECAUSE of the anxiety. Anxiety can manifest symptoms in many people that seem Aspergers-like, even though the person isn't technically an Aspie. For Aspies, these symptoms are present even if their anxiety is cured. For people with anxiety-induced AS-like symptoms, once their anxiety goes away, their symptoms do too. Your psychologist had reason to believe you were not on the spectrum. That doesn't mean you definitely aren't, and you could certainly look for a second opinion if you are convinced you do have it. BUT it might be more beneficial for you at this time to work on the anxiety you're experiencing, to see if that helps ease some of your other symptoms as well.


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Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)


littlelily613
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11 Nov 2012, 2:58 pm

antifeministfrills wrote:
Thankfully, living in the UK, I shouldn't have to pay.


Really?? In Canada we don't usually have to pay for health care, but for this kind of test, I had to pay 1200$ directly out-of-pocket at the time of the appointment.


_________________
Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)


antifeministfrills
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11 Nov 2012, 5:26 pm

littlelily613 wrote:
antifeministfrills wrote:
Thankfully, living in the UK, I shouldn't have to pay.


Really?? In Canada we don't usually have to pay for health care, but for this kind of test, I had to pay 1200$ directly out-of-pocket at the time of the appointment.


There's an Aspergers clinic in my city. You have to get a referral from your current mental health team or whatever.



antifeministfrills
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11 Nov 2012, 5:34 pm

littlelily613 wrote:
You have two things kind of going on here, so I'll touch on both.

Some professors are pricks, yes; however, some REALLY do just want to help you better yourself. That is what university is all about. If people have no room for improvement, they have no need for university. An example that recently happened to me. I brought my first thesis idea to my MA supervisor. I was really excited about it, and I was looking forward to delving into the topic more. Well, he did not even hesitate to tell me that it was not a good idea and that the faculty would likely not find it interesting. Okay....that was disappointing. BUT, he has been doing his job a lot longer than I have been a student (maybe even longer than I've been alive....) He does know what he is talking about, and he is only trying to set me up for success as I move through my MA and into a PhD. It is hard NOT to take it badly if a prof tells you your idea is boring, but there is a chance that s/he only meant that you are capable of more or trying to steer you in a direction that will help you improve yourself as a student and/or a scholar. Take that into consideration when you get negative feedback on your ideas. It might truly be CONSTUCTIVE criticism, rather than just out right nastiness on the part of the prof.

As for the other part of your post, you are right, we cannot diagnose you online. One thing I can say though, is that psychologists are usually more accurate than online tests. Psychologists are humans, so they are not computer-generating a response for you. You said you have anxiety. If your psychologist is correct that you don't have an ASD, it is possible that you feel like you do BECAUSE of the anxiety. Anxiety can manifest symptoms in many people that seem Aspergers-like, even though the person isn't technically an Aspie. For Aspies, these symptoms are present even if their anxiety is cured. For people with anxiety-induced AS-like symptoms, once their anxiety goes away, their symptoms do too. Your psychologist had reason to believe you were not on the spectrum. That doesn't mean you definitely aren't, and you could certainly look for a second opinion if you are convinced you do have it. BUT it might be more beneficial for you at this time to work on the anxiety you're experiencing, to see if that helps ease some of your other symptoms as well.


I'm not sure why you assumed I'm in university. I'm not; I'm in post-secondary study which is typically done for two years prior to university. And yes, my professor is highly experienced and was trying to be constructive... it's hard to convey the manner of a teacher over the internet, but she's scary! :oops: My closest friends think I'm Aspie-y, and they experience me in my least-anxious state.



littlelily613
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12 Nov 2012, 2:42 am

Quote:
I'm not sure why you assumed I'm in university.


Because I am, and you didn't state otherwise.

It doesn't REALLY matter, does it? Everything I said still applies. Take out professor and replace it with teacher. Take out university and replace it with high school or post-secondary study or whatever else you might be in. It's all the same, just one builds on top of the other.


_________________
Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)