Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

CuriousWoodlander
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jun 2024
Gender: Male
Posts: 24
Location: Ireland

15 Jun 2024, 4:30 pm

Hello everyone. A bit of background info about me. I'm a 27 year old guy currently doing a course in a college that is for people with disabilities/medical issues.

Before this, I was in a more mainstream college for 4 years. These 4 years were without a doubt the most stress-induced, depressive, loneliest part of my life. I hated it so much. I couldn't fit in at all and can't think of one single positive experience that I had there. Apart from the gym. Didn't make any close friends. Couldn't attend any societies/clubs because of my crippling anxiety and money issues. Never even had a graduation there before. I don't feel sad about having left that place. Kind of relieved to be honest. It's not the place itself that was the problem. It was more the fact that I was so overwhelmed with the work and crowds. Those four years were a chore for me. It's crazy hard to balance work and 'having fun' especially someone like me who has autism.

Had to get this rant over with. It's been driving me crazy for so long. At least I'm happy where I am now. Has anyone else on the spectrum had experiences like these?



notboston
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 18 Jun 2024
Gender: Male
Posts: 2
Location: Illinois

18 Jun 2024, 6:37 pm

i really hated college when classes were more of a test of time management or some practical skill vs. instructing us on concepts and topics. it was annoying to have to go through the tedium of a class or a lab, especially if the work assigned required at least two people working collaboratively.
i really hated being torn between trying to appear like i could communicate well vs. focusing on the concepts and understanding what the class was attempting to teach, at a pace that was just too slow to be very stimulating. it was tough for me to let go of some of the maladaptive traits i held on to from high school and even earlier. nothing in high school seemed to require much thought.
i did find a lot of practice collaborating with on campus researchers, a lot of grad students might not be on the spectrum but there are a lot who might have other reasons for a lack of confidence in communication skills. i really liked working in research where the communication was direct, the goals were put in place by PIs, grant deadlines, and professors, things were very much structured and organized.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,223
Location: Stendec

18 Jun 2024, 7:12 pm

While I didn't hate college, there were a lot of people at college that I could've done without.


_________________
 
No love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,436
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

18 Jun 2024, 7:17 pm

CuriousWoodlander wrote:
Had to get this rant over with. It's been driving me crazy for so long. At least I'm happy where I am now. Has anyone else on the spectrum had experiences like these?

This is what matters.


_________________
My WP story


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 70,449
Location: Chez Quis

18 Jun 2024, 9:17 pm

I lived away from home for Uni. I had a boyfriend at home, the guy I later married, and he very rarely went to visit me. I was sexually assaulted during O Week but was determined to stay. That made me terrified the whole time but I stuck to a very small group of people and we didn't really do anything but study or order bad pizzas and incur huge long-distance rotary telephone bills. I was heartbreakingly lonely for home. I didn't join any clubs or anything. It didn't even occur to me but I wouldn't have been comfortable anyway. Then I got married which was a big mistake but continued doing grad school part-time for several years. That was better because I didn't have to live away.

I'm glad you made the right choice to go somewhere that makes you more comfortable. I had no idea I had a disability at the time, or that alternative services might have been available.


_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.


MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,436
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

19 Jun 2024, 4:39 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I lived away from home for Uni.

I suppose that if your family lived in an isolated area, you had no choice about that, but what did you study there?


_________________
My WP story


DuckHairback
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2021
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,836
Location: Dorset

19 Jun 2024, 4:59 am

Yep, yep yep. Those five years, college and then university were pretty rubbish for me too. I couldn't deal with the increased freedoms - I did better with the rigid structure of school days. I made very few friends, avoided the campuses whenever I didn't have lectures and soon started avoiding it even when I did have lectures. I just wasn't ready. There was other crap going on which had spun me out too so I wasn't in a good place mentally. And I didn't know I was autistic, I just thought I was useless. I felt totally isolated the whole time, very out of place among all these bright young things who seemed to be having the best time of their lives.

At the same time I was working at a cinema where everyone was an oddball and they accepted me in a way I've never felt accepted anywhere else. I should've quit higher education and gone into full time work, I think. Picked up study later on when I was ready for it.


_________________
This is a block of text that can be added to posts you make. There is a 2150 character limit.


Bestiola
Raven
Raven

Joined: 22 Aug 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 102

19 Jun 2024, 5:55 am

Fnord wrote:
While I didn't hate college, there were a lot of people at college that I could've done without.


This! I'd go back provided I didn't have to go through enforced socialisation.



belijojo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Dec 2023
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Posts: 955

19 Jun 2024, 10:05 am

normal,At least for me.


_________________
For I so loved the world, that I gave My theory and method, that whosoever believeth in Me should not be oppressed, but have a liberated life. /sarc


TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 23,805
Location: Hell

19 Jun 2024, 10:16 am

For me:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven — Satan and TwilightPrincess


Fenn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Sep 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,640
Location: Pennsylvania

19 Jun 2024, 11:45 am

College is weird. But you can make more money if you survive and get "that piece of paper".


_________________
ADHD-I(diagnosed) ASD-HF(diagnosed)
RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie