Difficulties with dormmates

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The condensed version of the situation: I sometimes have meltdowns in my dorm room, sometimes including screaming and other noises which disturb others. As a result, many of the people who live near me (most of whom I have never spoken to) are scared or disturbed. I've tried to rectify the situation by sending vague notes, but that didn't seem to work entirely. I'm told that if another "incident" occurs (which is reported), I'll have to switch rooms and I really don't want to have to do that. I've talked about it with my therapist and the Associate Dean, and they think my hallmates will be most understanding if I tell them in an e-mail that I have AS and what that is. Here's what I've come up with so far:


Dear Hallmates,

I live in room XXX and I would like to explain some things to you in the hopes that you better understand my situation. I understand that some of you have been bothered or disturbed by sounds you have heard from me, but I would like to reassure you that you are not in danger from me, nor am I a danger to myself.

I have Asperger’s Syndrome, which is considered a form of autism. This means that I have some neurological differences, all of which have probably been present since birth. These include an atypically rigid style of thinking and difficulties coping with situations which demand flexibility. I also have difficulties with emotional regulation and impulse control. I do not always mean to act the way I do and I am working to improve my coping mechanisms. If you have been worried about my state of health in the past, please know that I am seeking help for the problems that I do have and that my life in general is good. I have been dealing with my neurological differences for as long as I can remember and I usually can calm myself down fairly well when I am alone. If you would like further information about Asperger's Syndrome, Wikipedia is (as always) very helpful.

I am very sorry if I have upset any of you, and I assure you that this was entirely unintentional. Please feel free to talk to me if you have further questions or concerns. Just knock on my door, leave a note, or e-mail me at (my e-mail). I hope this has clarified some things.

My Full Name

Does that sound reasonable? Is there anything I should add or take out? I don't want pity, but I would like them to possibly see me as a nice person with some neurological differences instead of weird/crazy/psychotic person. Do you think the letter can foster understanding among people who don't really know me very well and probably don't know much about AS? I go to an all-women's college, if it makes a difference.

It sounds pretty reasonable to me. Is there a Hall Director/Residence Director/Residence Life Coordinator type person in your dorm? They might be able to help you with your issue with fellow residents.

Well I know having to live in a dorm when I went to collage that sleep is good and a study area is also good and that disturbances, whether intentional or not I was usually not to happy with.

I think it is important to include that it will not happen again and do everything in your power to prevent it, I know it can be hard, but its something you gotta control or life can get worse for ya, just my thoughts.

I think that's an excellent letter, and would be well-received by the people in our dorm.

Kris

Overall good letter.

One thought: your main point is that "I would like them to possibly
see me as a nice person with some neurological differences instead of
weird/crazy/psychotic person" so just say that up front, or something like
it. If you are in the US - with the spate of mentally ill college students
on killing sprees - that might be the actual concern.

You also may want to clarify that "meltdowns" - what they are finding
disturbing - result from certain sensory overloads, situations, etc. Again,
it is the meltdowns that are freaking them out.

good luck -

fG

Well the RA can help sometimes.

I have trouble my first year in dorms but this year much better because I took the lessons I learned from last year as learning experineces.

Very good letter.

If this doesn't fare well with any of your hallmates,
the RA, or anyone, try talking to someone in the
office for students with disabilities, if there is one at your college.

It is a good letter. The ones that definally need to know are your residence hall director(s),
RA(s) and if possible, your roommate. The rest, you can tell on a case by case basis.

This year I have room mates/suite mates and we all get along pretty well.

There should be an RA (or similar older, experienced student) on your floor. You should run the letter by them first and make sure they understand everything before you send it out.

Also, then you should probably add that they can talk to the RA as well as you.

Oh funny thing though my RA is one of my room mates/ suite mates.