Yet more bullying at freaking grad school. . .

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nory
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07 Apr 2008, 11:25 pm

My point with the comment before last was that your fixating on this girls purported fixation with you is (funny! :) ) but manifesting in a lot of negativity –

I think it’s a habit you should break for a happier life.

Having AS does not mean putting the breaks on introspection. We can look within, gain perspective.

If you wanted a name calling party, where everyone says – yes she is a freak, poor you, your not going to find it with me. I’ve seen too much pointless drama and turmoil created by these defensive behaviors in work and social settings over the years.



Cyanide
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08 Apr 2008, 1:32 am

If I were you, I'd just come to class everyday listening to music until class started...then turn it on as soon as class is over, and just walk out without looking at anybody until you're out of grad school (hopefully that isn't too much longer). That is....if you don't already do this...



Whisperer
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08 Apr 2008, 7:02 am

hyperbolic wrote:
Are you an NT lurker, Nora?

In case you were not aware, people who have AS go into detail about a lot of stuff. Yes, they are even typically fixated on things, like someone with OCD.


Yeah, I pretty much must have some form of OCD - even if I turned out to not be strictly an aspie. When people do weird f****d up things like that. . . can't help trying to make sense of them for weeks.

Cyanide wrote:
If I were you, I'd just come to class everyday listening to music until class started...then turn it on as soon as class is over, and just walk out without looking at anybody until you're out of grad school (hopefully that isn't too much longer). That is....if you don't already do this...


That's actually kind of a good idea; I've been missing something to busy myself with before class and during breaks.
. . .and I do already have an mp3 player with some horrible music of mine I need to re-listen and hopefully work on.



nory
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08 Apr 2008, 9:36 am

if a NT spent their time on aspergers sites defending the honor of NT's he or she would cease to be NT



hyperbolic
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08 Apr 2008, 11:44 am

Quote:
do you not think it's a little AS that I'm somewhat fixated on your fixation with another person's fixation on you...


What? You've lost me.

Quote:
if a NT spent their time on aspergers sites defending the honor of NT's he or she would cease to be NT


That does not make much sense. The person would not "cease to be NT" if they did that. What is far more likely is this: Someone claiming to have AS, even though they don't have a diagnosis, pretentiously giving criticism (and with no caveats, such as "I am not sure that I have Asperger's, but I think there is a strong likelihood I might...") to people on WP who ARE officially diagnosed with AS and truly know what it is like.



nory
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08 Apr 2008, 6:39 pm

It was a joke. For goodness sake!!

:roll:

Besides, I criticized myself far more than anyone else I have to say... and I thought I should speak honestly without sugarcoating it, what I thought about the situation based on the experiences of myself, a number of social groups I've been part of which have fallen apart for everyone because one member starts something like this, and also a close family member with AS who (in an extreme way - not like "Whisperer" but an exaggerated way), I see the same thing in.

These are very smart people who have fixated and perhaps overreacted to some things (even launched between them three unnecessary harassment suits against people of the opposite sex) with actually sad and disastrous results to the community. I've seen how a little thing like this can grow if it keeps going on in the imagination. I also have a friend (female) who experienced some abuse as a child and repeatedly accuses people of making inappropriate sexual overtures towards her. At first I thought she was terribly unlucky and sided with her all the time but after now ten years of (when sometimes being right there at the scene of the crime) seeing nothing actually happen other than maybe a comment or look she interprets the wrong way, then listening to the scene expand in her imagination for six months until faculty advisors and such are consulted I've started to worry. Weirdly what is common to both of them is an extreme sense of indignation over the appearance or station in life (or marital status) of the person. I think they see this as a moral crime, which is actually, strong morality, identified as an AS trait by Attwood. So its understandable but things can just get out of hand. I know its impossible sometimes to force yourself to find a new fixation but maybe you can try.

You think I'm being melodramatic but you really hit on a pet peeve of mine.

And I don't think that this forum should be a place where people can get together and perpetrate the bashing of other people just because it makes us feel better. Sure it would be easier to make people like oneself to just say yes they all suck out there, but I really don't care.