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MayFlay01
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30 Mar 2021, 5:57 pm

Hi, I recently joined for some advice. You see I am 19 years old, will be turning 20 in May, and I have yet to have a job. It is something that I have been wanting to get since 2019 so I can have my own money and help with my social skills. Every time I talk to my mom about though, she keeps on making excuses on why I can’t have one and yesterday she explained to me the reason why I can’t get one is because she thinks I’m not ready to have one. That retail or fast food would be too much for me. Am going to be honest and say it did hurt me a bit, it has made me feel useless to my family and that I’m the black sheep of it. She said I can do chores around the house for money but I don’t want to do that, I’m sick of doing nothing in my house and being home alone all day. I’m sick of feeling like trapped I guess. I am being a brat about this? Selfish? All I want is to feel a bit independent in life. What do you suggest I do? Any advice?



kraftiekortie
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30 Mar 2021, 6:01 pm

Fast food and retail are actually not very good for autistic people.

There are people here who work fast food and retail----but it really stresses them out.

I know what you mean....I wanted to earn my own money, too, when I was younger.

How about trying for a job in a library?



cyberdad
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30 Mar 2021, 6:05 pm

Its really hard for random strangers to advise you without knowing your actual capacity to i) obtain employment ii) do well and iii) hold down a job

Based on your typing you seem like a smart guy but as Kraftie mentioned small quirks can be enough to not get hired in fast food or retail.

BTW its impossible nowadays to get paid work in libraries.



kraftiekortie
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30 Mar 2021, 6:13 pm

I work in a library as my second job.



cyberdad
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30 Mar 2021, 6:16 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I work in a library as my second job.


Then you know you can't walk in and get a paid job in a library



kraftiekortie
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30 Mar 2021, 6:38 pm

You can apply for a job if it’s posted....like I did.



MayFlay01
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30 Mar 2021, 7:01 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Fast food and retail are actually not very good for autistic people.

There are people here who work fast food and retail----but it really stresses them out.

I know what you mean....I wanted to earn my own money, too, when I was younger.

How about trying for a job in a library?



I actually would like to work at one or at a comic book store, they’re one of my special interests. I even bought up the prospect of working at one to my mom but she has an excuse as to why. Even when I bring up compromises she still has an excuse to it. I’m not good at arguing so I just feel like garbage afterwards, feeling like I’m wasting my mom’s time or something.



MayFlay01
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30 Mar 2021, 7:06 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Its really hard for random strangers to advise you without knowing your actual capacity to i) obtain employment ii) do well and iii) hold down a job

Based on your typing you seem like a smart guy but as Kraftie mentioned small quirks can be enough to not get hired in fast food or retail.

BTW its impossible nowadays to get paid work in libraries.


I understand, but I really don’t know where else to seek a job. Those two seem like the only places where I’m at to get one. I did think of opening up commission work for art but idk...



kraftiekortie
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30 Mar 2021, 9:58 pm

How about college/university?



shortfatbalduglyman
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31 Mar 2021, 3:13 pm

Part time

Telecommute

Programming

Gardening

Janitor

Paper route

Walk dogs

Office work

Clerical

Construction trades

Day laborer



Fnord
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31 Mar 2021, 3:17 pm

"Telecommute" is not a job, but how a job is performed.


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hurtloam
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31 Mar 2021, 3:34 pm

I started as an office junior. It burned me out. Working with a load of NT women in an open office is hell.

I took an early morning cleaning job after that, which was so much more suitable for me. I'm good at cleaning, it got me out of the house, I earned some money, it built up my self esteem. I highly recommend it.



starkid
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13 Apr 2021, 2:09 am

Does your mother know you well; is she usually right about these kinds of issues? Maybe you should listen to her, maybe first try a volunteer position instead. Are you in college? Maybe you could try for an easy work-study position.

You can move up from one of those options.



MidnightRose
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18 Apr 2021, 2:15 am

What's the harm in trying? If you don't like the job, you can quit. I will warn you that even though retail/fast food are seen as low end jobs, they can be difficult and I speak from experience there. Lots of sensory stimulus, especially in a kitchen there's lots of noise and temperature changes. And both rely on having fast paced social skills when you're busy. You can learn, but it will be very stressful at first. It will still be stressful. I started working when I was either 19 or 20 and my first cashiering job I had vivid dreams of running through imaginary cashiering situations in my head that would keep waking me up. But I also got a lot better at talking to strangers the more I did it.

I say go for it! Challenge yourself, you might learn new skills or understand better how you respond to stress. You can always quit. Frankly, your parents should be encouraging you for taking steps to improve yourself. But some parents are terrified of letting their kids fail from time to time. So long as you're not doing something dangerous, what's the problem?



DesertWoman
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21 Apr 2021, 5:11 pm

If you're over the age of 18 you are legally an adult. You can and should think for yourself and make your own decisions.

If you graduated from high school you are more than qualified to work. You could even attend college part-time and work.

Think about your interests and life-related goals. You're entitled to be happy.