Anyone else find office small talk awkward ?

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started a new office internship have nothing in common with anyone . Hate the small talk

Hi,

I saw your post and related so much to it. Although I'm not on the spectrum (my kiddo is), I too hate small talk with people I don't really know that well. To be honest, I'm not sure anyone likes it - ha!

At any rate, I rely on canned questions to get me through the coffee line or elevator ride - they might work for you too:
- Did you do anything good over the weekend? (great for Monday/Tuesday conversations)
- Do you have any big plans for the weekend (great for Thursday/Friday conversations)
- How are your projects going - anything interesting lately?

I basically try to get them to talk to me until I can appropriately leave the situation. Less pressure for me!

I hope this helps!
Margaret

Sometimes you also bond over an office issue... like the copy machine that breaks down, the delivery guy's antics, or a particular client who is either very fun or a debbie-downer (but you cannot say that at work). I like asking people about weather, a movie they just saw, or their recommendation for a restaurant.

After a while, you will begin to get a pattern of their likes/dislikes. Or if their car broke down. Or they just had a new baby and get very little sleep. Try to recall some info for further water cooler small chats.

Like, "Hey Joe, so I heard your kid got on the honor roll. Congrats!" and let them do a mom/dad brag (remember to look interested and smile at them).

Or talk about traffic. Everyone has a story on commute and gridlock.

Joke with them on a stressful day... "Anyone want to jet off to their fave island?" and let them comiserate on what island locale they like. Tahiti, Bahamas, Hawaii, etc. Let that be a future springboard in your memory bank to bring up later to bond over. "Hey, once we survive this... it'll be a white sandy beach in Turks and Caicos for me!" They will joke about their dream vacay.

Once you can count a few seconds of silence in the conversation.. that tells you to make your closing remark and exit. "Okay, well.. see ya. Bye." or "Yup. Gotta go."

NT like small talk as they see it as a team bonding thing. And yes, the more they talk the less stress I feel and then make a quick exit. People love to talk about themselves.

I'm not a fan of small talk, but I've learned to live with it. It's deepening relationships that I struggle with, so it's kind of a relief if we don't have much time and energy for more than light chat. That way not much is expected out of me socially.

I always made an effort to spend some time in the break room so people knew I was quiet, not antisocial. Yes, it was very trying at times, but worth it...

I find it rather awkward. And I tend to make mistakes and have people think I'm weird.

Sometimes, it's necessary, though---to "break the ice."

This is all great advice... but when in a small-talk situation... my memory goes in the dumper. My brain is working too hard to try to remember how to do small talk to remember the content of the other people's lives that can be asked about! Then later when they aren't there face to face with me I am like "oh yeah, their kid... honor roll... s***!"

Lie as much as possible, lie so much you believe your own lies. If you're an atheist say you're spending the weekend reading the bible. Have fun lying. Learn to enjoy lying and you might actually like "small talk" talking.

This sounds like very bad advice. It could potentially do serious damage to your reputation, especially if you're a bad lier. Do not just lie to lie. It's not a good idea... It can be good to not disclose everything, or in some cases you can't be completely honest about stuff... but being dishonest as a policy is just asking for even more stigma.

To be clear... as an employer, if I had an employee that habitually lied, even with small-talk... I'd be working with HR to find an exit for that employee. It's not appropriate in the workplace.

unless you're so good at lying you can believe your own lies'

"im going to church today because it's sunday"

I can say that without lying because I'm driving "to" to a church on google maps by my grandmas house because i cant remember her address but i know what the church is called next to her house

I tend to avoid this kind of thing, unless they're a close friend, because a couple of times at my last job I did this to be friendly and seem interested in their lives, but I got an unexpected "ssshh!" response, and I hate unexpectedly being shushed. They weren't doing it deliberately but I felt like kicking myself for not just keeping my mouth shut.
One time I was sitting in the staff canteen during my coffee break and was scrolling through Facebook on my phone. It was a colleague's birthday and it was all over Facebook, and coincidentally the colleague walked into the room at that time. There was an awkward silence so I thought I'd break the ice by wishing her a happy birthday. I hesitated a bit, but she knew that I go on Facebook a lot so she might think that I'm aloof or unfriendly if I don't say something, so I said, "oh, is it your birthday today?" And she went "SSSSHHHHHHH!" I felt my face go rather red and then she said that she didn't want anyone to know it was her birthday - even though other colleagues had wished her a happy birthday on her timeline. I know she probably didn't want any fuss (although she was only young) but I wished I hadn't said anything.

Another time, at the same place, another colleague told me she had an interview somewhere else, so a few days later when I was working with her I wondered if I should ask her how her interview went, so I did. She said "ssshh" and said that she didn't want others to know she had an interview, but everyone did know because she was telling everyone on the same day she told me.

So nowadays I find it is safer to keep my mouth shut. I'm good at keeping my mouth shut if I know that someone could get into trouble or if someone had been gossiping/talking about someone else behind their back - that goes without saying. But when it's just something that someone told me but didn't hint that they wanted it kept a secret then I will want to chat about it, see how they are, how they got on, how their daughter is doing, wish them a happy birthday/anniversary, etc.

One thing that seems to always work is asking people about their kids or grandkids, how they are doing. People LOVE to talk about their kids and grandkids, and they think you are nice for asking about them so it really works. Usually they just keep talking on these topics so you don't even have to say much.

Not much of an issue for me.

I used to feel a bore, surrounded by backs.
Nowadays I feel like people talk lots of codswallop.
I sound a social snob.
I am not good in groups, can't get a word in edgeways and am good at getting interrupted.
I couldn't even manage to get an interrupter to stop when I said "I haven't finished" she turned her back and ignored me and kept on talking, I'm ready for her next time.
I don't have much to say, ecstasy made me realise I am naturally quiet and have been pretending to be extrovert all my life, that was years ago, but it still holds true.
I love dry senses of humour and laughing.
I like bizarre humour.