Jealous of people younger than me in business

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chris1989
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31 Jul 2021, 7:50 am

I don't know why but I seem to have this problem of being jealous or envious of those younger than me (31) having already become a business manager or CEO or something particularly those who are 21, it leaves me feel like an underachiever because at 21 I was just doing volunteer work before I went to university, I didn't go straight into the work environment at 18, I went to college for two years and at the time I wasn't thinking of becoming an aspiring business man because I don't know what I want to start a business in, I didn't really want to make a living as an artist or doing a business in art. I think I've gone off it now. I think that's the problem with someone like me who has varying interest in things, I can't single out one and make a career out of it. I can't understand why I'm jealous of a 20 something year old's position in work, I don't know whether its the feeling of inferiority because they are higher than me, maybe that is what it is, its as though I want to be superior to those younger than me and when they are above me as a boss or something it makes me feel inferior. I now this sounds strange and absurd that's how it feels.



kraftiekortie
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01 Aug 2021, 4:04 am

It’s good to be objective.

How many 21-year-olds are CEOs or business managers? How many at 31?

Most people at 21 here either are college students, or work in retail/fast food. It’s not uncommon at 31, either, for people to be “support staff.” Or to work in retail/fast food.

I’m 60, and I’m just a clerk. Yet I’m okay. I get tinges of “jealousy,” so I can understand where you’re coming from.



cyberdad
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01 Aug 2021, 4:25 am

I didn't get a break till I was in my 30s, it's not such a big deal if you don't get to be a manager.



Texasmoneyman300
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02 Aug 2021, 1:43 am

chris1989 wrote:
I don't know why but I seem to have this problem of being jealous or envious of those younger than me (31) having already become a business manager or CEO or something particularly those who are 21, it leaves me feel like an underachiever because at 21 I was just doing volunteer work before I went to university, I didn't go straight into the work environment at 18, I went to college for two years and at the time I wasn't thinking of becoming an aspiring business man because I don't know what I want to start a business in, I didn't really want to make a living as an artist or doing a business in art. I think I've gone off it now. I think that's the problem with someone like me who has varying interest in things, I can't single out one and make a career out of it. I can't understand why I'm jealous of a 20 something year old's position in work, I don't know whether its the feeling of inferiority because they are higher than me, maybe that is what it is, its as though I want to be superior to those younger than me and when they are above me as a boss or something it makes me feel inferior. I now this sounds strange and absurd that's how it feels.

Being a young founder and executive is a hard struggle.being a 9 to 5 worker is the best path for most people.



kraftiekortie
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02 Aug 2021, 5:27 am

It was for me—except I mostly worked the night shift.



QuietThoughts
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02 Aug 2021, 5:57 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
chris1989 wrote:
I don't know why but I seem to have this problem of being jealous or envious of those younger than me (31) having already become a business manager or CEO or something particularly those who are 21, it leaves me feel like an underachiever because at 21 I was just doing volunteer work before I went to university, I didn't go straight into the work environment at 18, I went to college for two years and at the time I wasn't thinking of becoming an aspiring business man because I don't know what I want to start a business in, I didn't really want to make a living as an artist or doing a business in art. I think I've gone off it now. I think that's the problem with someone like me who has varying interest in things, I can't single out one and make a career out of it. I can't understand why I'm jealous of a 20 something year old's position in work, I don't know whether its the feeling of inferiority because they are higher than me, maybe that is what it is, its as though I want to be superior to those younger than me and when they are above me as a boss or something it makes me feel inferior. I now this sounds strange and absurd that's how it feels.

Being a young founder and executive is a hard struggle.being a 9 to 5 worker is the best path for most people.

A good portion of that struggle is likely attributed to those who can't afford or prefer not to make the sacrifice of time, standard of living or general material goods. Those who persevere don't think so much about how it's a struggle.



Joe90
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03 Aug 2021, 3:41 pm

A lot of people, my age and older, aren't in high jobs, including my (NT) parents. But what bothers me is everybody I know seem to be in full-time work while I've never done any more than 30 hours a week, and whenever I've done 30 hours it's only overtime, not my contracted hours. And other people my age do about 40-50 hours or more every week. I like my job and I would do more hours here but it's not possible (I can't be bothered to go all into detail why that is) but I wouldn't really want to have two different jobs on the go as I might get emotionally overwhelmed.

NTs that don't suffer any mental health problems and don't have kids and aren't old don't seem to get mentally exhausted from working full-time, and I envy them for that. They get physically exhausted, as in tired, but not mentally exhausted. I wish I was one of them. I hate being on the spectrum.


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goldfish21
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08 Aug 2021, 12:32 pm

chris1989 wrote:
I don't know why but I seem to have this problem of being jealous or envious of those younger than me (31) having already become a business manager or CEO or something particularly those who are 21, it leaves me feel like an underachiever because at 21 I was just doing volunteer work before I went to university, I didn't go straight into the work environment at 18, I went to college for two years and at the time I wasn't thinking of becoming an aspiring business man because I don't know what I want to start a business in, I didn't really want to make a living as an artist or doing a business in art. I think I've gone off it now. I think that's the problem with someone like me who has varying interest in things, I can't single out one and make a career out of it. I can't understand why I'm jealous of a 20 something year old's position in work, I don't know whether its the feeling of inferiority because they are higher than me, maybe that is what it is, its as though I want to be superior to those younger than me and when they are above me as a boss or something it makes me feel inferior. I now this sounds strange and absurd that's how it feels.


Not THAT strange. I graduated from business school when I was 19 - the youngest in my class; perhaps even in the entire technical institute. I wasn't successful with a number of entrepreneurial nor partnership plans. Hell, I was bankrupt at ~29yo.

Thing with success in business is that ppl see one in a Billion 20-something tech company CEO's who hit the jackpot with a new app idea and then feel like comparative failures if they're not as successful, which then leads many to give up on themselves and their plans. Nonsense! As Gary V will tell ya, life is a really long time! Giving up at 25 or 30 when people work well into their 70's or even beyond these days is CRAZY! Also, for many generations, the vast majority of success in business has come to people after the age of 40.. so to give up in your 20's or 30's is a fatal mistake for sure! Just gotta keep pressing forward.

Personally, I've been able to forgive myself for many mistakes due to the hindsight I have now about my ASD/executive function issues when I was younger. I didn't have the same chance at success as my peers.

Then I wised up and decided that I'd stick to one thing and get good at it - starting a trades apprenticeship ~4 years ago.. because if I kept jumping around doing general things I'd keep getting general pay instead of specializing and getting paid like it. I haven't completed my apprenticeship, and may never who knows, But I DO have the skillset I can apply and make pretty good money with for the rest of my life whenever I need to. I'm on the slower end of the scale, physically, But, NO ONE has a better attention to detail - so even though it takes me longer being pickier than anyone, my work Looks damned near Perfect! (and that counts in a finishing trade! It's just that I could make WAY more money per unit of time if I could care a little less about minor imperfections, just bang it out get paid and move on.)

The reason I may not return to my trade (Taper/Drywall Finisher (like a Plasterer)) post covidtimes is that I have an open ended offer to work with my best friend assisting him in managing and expanding his tech company.. lol; he's a 39yo tech company CEO who's W A Y more successful in business than I will likely ever be!! And he didn't even go to business school - he studied computer science and dropped out 3 courses short of his degree because he was working full time as a programmer for the RCMP (federal police) and running his business full time. The magic ingredient that he has and I don't = FOCUS and discipline; he is one of The Most focused flow-state productive multi-taskers on the planet.. sits at a command centre with 4 monitors programming things & delegating others to his team(s) that work in his building, from their bedrooms, and remotely around the world. Anyways, I know that I have a way bigger opportunity working for/with him helping manage his business than I could likely ever create on my own.. plus less pressure since there's a team of people.

For years I didn't want Anything to do with business management because it's very difficult, especially for an Aspie - but less so for me with treated symptoms.. and now I'm wise enough to realize that putting my skills and knowledge to work for someone else is a far better situation than taking an extremely risky step of attempting to launch and grow my own business since I don't have that same magic ingredient he does. Although, I could run my own contracting business as a one man operation in my Trade if I wanted - there's so much demand for talented people it's not hard to find work. But to start a tech company and grow to ~30 people and keep growing ? I'll have way greater success on his team than starting my own, this I Know.


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Dial1194
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08 Aug 2021, 12:59 pm

Survivor bias. You're comparing yourself against the cherry-picked tiny selection of people who did very well, either because they started out with significantly more resources, simply got lucky, or were in a position where they were able to work very hard without being held back (or a combination of the above).

It's kind of like comparing yourself to lottery winners or Olympic athletes. They're few and far between, but they tend to stand out precisely _because_ they are uncommon.