I signed a Consensual Relationship Agreement, but...

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ironpony
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25 Nov 2021, 1:57 am

I am dating a co-worker and my employers had me sign a Consensual Relationship Agreement which is fine, but should I be worried?

They didn't make her sign one which I found to be odd, and just me. I can't help but feel there may be a stink in the air with how my employers see me now, but wonder if it's likely the case, or maybe I am just thinking about it too much and I am fine? What do you think?

Thanks for any advice on this. I really appreciate it!



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25 Nov 2021, 2:00 am

ironpony wrote:
I am dating a co-worker and my employers had me sign a Consensual Relationship Agreement which is fine, but should I be worried?

They didn't make her sign one which I found to be odd, and just me. I can't help but feel there may be a stink in the air with how my employers see me now, but wonder if it's likely the case, or maybe I am just thinking about it too much and I am fine? What do you think?

Thanks for any advice on this. I really appreciate it!


well what was the nature of it, like what did you have to sign to agree to? I get if its too personal but without more context I can't really think of anything to say not that I'd have great advice either way. So in that case hopefully someone who knows more of what you are talking about will have some input.



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26 Nov 2021, 5:18 pm

ironpony wrote:
I am dating a co-worker and my employers had me sign a Consensual Relationship Agreement which is fine, but should I be worried?

They didn't make her sign one which I found to be odd, and just me. I can't help but feel there may be a stink in the air with how my employers see me now, but wonder if it's likely the case, or maybe I am just thinking about it too much and I am fine? What do you think?

Thanks for any advice on this. I really appreciate it!


Out of curiosity, how do you know they didn't have her sign one, too?

Did she / they explicitly tell you that she didn't sign one, or did you simply not SEE her sign one, so you 're assuming she didn't.

Cos if they did have her sign one, they probably had her do it while you were not present. Was she present when you signed yours?



ironpony
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26 Nov 2021, 8:20 pm

Oh she told me that didn't.



rse92
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29 Nov 2021, 3:03 pm

Just guessing but, if I recall correctly she is employed as a manager and you are not. Therefore, the company wants a piece of paper from you on which you agree that you were not coerced by her, a manager and your work superior, into this relationship as a result in any way.



ironpony
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29 Nov 2021, 9:08 pm

Oh okay, yes she is a supervisor. But isn't that kind of double standard to get a signature from one person and not the other, when the other person could have been coerced as well? As long as they are not targeting me unfairly compared to her or anything...



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29 Nov 2021, 9:15 pm

ironpony wrote:
I am dating a co-worker and my employers had me sign a Consensual Relationship Agreement which is fine, but should I be worried?

They didn't make her sign one which I found to be odd, and just me. I can't help but feel there may be a stink in the air with how my employers see me now, but wonder if it's likely the case, or maybe I am just thinking about it too much and I am fine? What do you think?

Thanks for any advice on this. I really appreciate it!


I would get legal advice on why they made you sign it.



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29 Nov 2021, 9:19 pm

I could do that but is it worth paying like $130 for an attorney to look it over, if maybe everything is fine at work, and I could be making too much of it?



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29 Nov 2021, 9:22 pm

ironpony wrote:
I could do that but is it worth paying like $130 for an attorney to look it over, if maybe everything is fine at work, and I could be making too much of it?


It's your place of employment....so yes...



ironpony
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29 Nov 2021, 9:26 pm

Oh okay, but what would I be asking the attorney exactly? Why they didn't have her sign too?



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29 Nov 2021, 9:31 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay, but what would I be asking the attorney exactly? Why they didn't have her sign too?


I would be ensuring there is no risk to yourself. Just peace of mind.



ironpony
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29 Nov 2021, 9:41 pm

Oh okay, I can do that. Aside from the legal part of it, do you think maybe I am frowned upon by having a relationship with her, by my superiors, more fround upon than her perhaps, even if she is a supervisor above me? Another thing is, since I am 16 years older than her, and she is 21 could this be why they seem to have targeted me to sign it, more compared to her, or is that likely not the case, and I am being paranoid maybe?



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29 Nov 2021, 9:48 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay, I can do that. Aside from the legal part of it, do you think maybe I am frowned upon by having a relationship with her, by my superiors, more fround upon than her perhaps, even if she is a supervisor above me? Another thing is, since I am 16 years older than her, and she is 21 could this be why they seem to have targeted me to sign it, more compared to her, or is that likely not the case, and I am being paranoid maybe?


Honestly I can't speak for American workplaces or the cinematic industry. Yes now that you mention the age gap and your seniority to her I do understand why your employer made you sign the agreement, Perhaps they are worried you are in a position to exploit her vulnerability.

Any perceived breach might put you at risk which is why an attorney should read the fine print and translate it for you.



ironpony
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29 Nov 2021, 9:49 pm

Oh okay. When you say my seniority to her, do you mean the age gap or workplace ranking?



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29 Nov 2021, 9:52 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay. When you say my seniority to her, do you mean the age gap or workplace ranking?


I think you mentioned she "looked up to you" as you are creating content whereas she's starting out so it may be perceived you have power over her which in some workplaces can be perceived as a conflict of interest,



ironpony
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29 Nov 2021, 9:54 pm

Oh okay. She is a supervisor compared to me though, and has been there for 2 and a half years, where as I have been there for nine months though, so I thought it would be percieved as her having power over me maybe therefore. But I don't think the superiors know about her being impressed by my filmmaking experience though.