I signed a Consensual Relationship Agreement, but...

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cyberdad
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03 Dec 2021, 9:17 pm

ironpony wrote:
Not sure why the bigger boss doesn't go to my director supervisor instead.


That's my question?



ironpony
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04 Dec 2021, 1:39 am

Oh yes. Yeah I am not sure why the boss doesn't. Well one reason why he may go to her instead to ask me instead of asking me, is because him and her work a different shift time then me, so could this likely be why?



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04 Dec 2021, 6:34 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Because you’re the subordinate and she’s the supervisor.

Supervisors can exploit subordinates via sexual harassment. Not the other way around, usually.

They’re making sure you can’t sue for sexual harassment.

Yes, a “double standard.”

Not until the relationship is terminated where he better tell the boss it is.
But now that he signed they are convinced it's true, not that it matters anyway. I don't see ironpony sueing and harrassing at the workplace. Though rape is possible in consensual relationships too so that signature isn't foolproof.


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05 Dec 2021, 1:56 am

Rexi wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Because you’re the subordinate and she’s the supervisor.

Supervisors can exploit subordinates via sexual harassment. Not the other way around, usually.

They’re making sure you can’t sue for sexual harassment.

Yes, a “double standard.”

Not until the relationship is terminated where he better tell the boss it is.
But now that he signed they are convinced it's true, not that it matters anyway. I don't see ironpony sueing and harrassing at the workplace. Though rape is possible in consensual relationships too so that signature isn't foolproof.


When you say they are convinved it's true by 'it' do you mean the relatonship?



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05 Dec 2021, 1:59 am

If you signed the agreement, it’s obvious that they believe you’re in the consensual relationship.



cyberdad
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05 Dec 2021, 2:55 am

Rexi wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Because you’re the subordinate and she’s the supervisor.

Supervisors can exploit subordinates via sexual harassment. Not the other way around, usually.

They’re making sure you can’t sue for sexual harassment.

Yes, a “double standard.”

Not until the relationship is terminated where he better tell the boss it is.
But now that he signed they are convinced it's true, not that it matters anyway. I don't see ironpony sueing and harrassing at the workplace. Though rape is possible in consensual relationships too so that signature isn't foolproof.


But that's the point, If the agreement was mean't to acknowledge no workplace harrassment and the relationship is consensual then logically the g/f should also sign.



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05 Dec 2021, 3:01 am

ironpony wrote:
Rexi wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Because you’re the subordinate and she’s the supervisor.

Supervisors can exploit subordinates via sexual harassment. Not the other way around, usually.

They’re making sure you can’t sue for sexual harassment.

Yes, a “double standard.”

Not until the relationship is terminated where he better tell the boss it is.
But now that he signed they are convinced it's true, not that it matters anyway. I don't see ironpony sueing and harrassing at the workplace. Though rape is possible in consensual relationships too so that signature isn't foolproof.


When you say they are convinved it's true by 'it' do you mean the relatonship?

Yes because you signed. To take your word away now is too late and could be troublemaker for you. To sustain it's not consensual at this point already spells trouble


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kraftiekortie
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05 Dec 2021, 8:25 am

I see no evidence that this relationship wasn’t consensual. I don’t foresee any legal problems from this situation.

The supervisor would really be on the hook had he not signed that the relationship was consensual.

Yep. She should have signed as well. Only fair. So she can’t claim that he harassed her into a relationship, like he can’t claim that she harassed him into a relationship.



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05 Dec 2021, 11:36 am

Rexi wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Rexi wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Because you’re the subordinate and she’s the supervisor.

Supervisors can exploit subordinates via sexual harassment. Not the other way around, usually.

They’re making sure you can’t sue for sexual harassment.

Yes, a “double standard.”

Not until the relationship is terminated where he better tell the boss it is.
But now that he signed they are convinced it's true, not that it matters anyway. I don't see ironpony sueing and harrassing at the workplace. Though rape is possible in consensual relationships too so that signature isn't foolproof.


When you say they are convinved it's true by 'it' do you mean the relatonship?

Yes because you signed. To take your word away now is too late and could be troublemaker for you. To sustain it's not consensual at this point already spells trouble


Oh well I wasn't planning on saying it was not consensual so therefore there should be no trouble then right?



cyberdad
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05 Dec 2021, 4:12 pm

I think there's a few of us here, ironpony, who have advised to get your attorney to cast their eyes on the agreement,



rse92
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06 Dec 2021, 10:25 am

cyberdad wrote:
rse92 wrote:
if you breakup with her and she is a valued manager and your breakup affects her, they might want to move YOU out of the company).


In what universe?


In the universe where the very exact thing that the writing he signed addresses. Think about it.



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07 Dec 2021, 9:48 am

ironpony wrote:
But if I were to ask them, then I admitting more to the relationship. Isn't best to just keep quiet about the relationship, rather than admitting more to it, in hopes they will tell me how they found out?

The only reason why I said that is because you were planning to still keep it a secret and not admit it after you signed, it seemed to me by this post. Which I thought is pointless and may be dangerous now


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07 Dec 2021, 11:14 pm

Oh I'm not keeping a secret am I? What am I suppose to do, blab about the relationship to everyone? Wouldn't that be inappropriate in the workplace?



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29 Dec 2021, 10:53 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh I'm not keeping a secret am I? What am I suppose to do, blab about the relationship to everyone? Wouldn't that be inappropriate in the workplace?

No, that's not what I meant, that would only be normal if your gf wasn't at work. Don't act like it's not true or try to cover it up, I meant.


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29 Dec 2021, 11:21 pm

Oh okay I see. Thanks. Should I be worried that they only made me sign it and not her though still?



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02 Jan 2022, 3:10 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay I see. Thanks. Should I be worried that they only made me sign it and not her though still?

All this time she didnt care about it to say its not true. Everyone knows, and she knows too. I guess she doesnt have to sign. But why dont you ask the boss or your lawyer about it?

It's not about being worried, it's about clearing the worry out if it exists. It's not unreasonable to be worried about this and pursue answers.


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