Feel everyone else is working harder except me

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Joined: 2 Aug 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 767
Location: Kent, UK

09 Mar 2023, 11:00 am

I seem to feel like someone who doesn't work hard enough even though I've been in a job for more than 6 years but I only do a 10 hour contract. I seem to think other people my age or younger do much more work than I do and have more contented lives than me because they maybe have a dream job or career.

I feel bad for not having been in work since I was like 18 when at the time I went to college and not straight into work. I didn't think at the time that I would be working where I am now and I never planned to. I'm not one of those people who has their own business and clearly don't know what I'd do for a business because I don't seem interested in making a business of my own like some people have done with things like bakeries, or art cafes and things like that. When I was looking for work I didn't seem interested in taking up jobs in the usual places in town like a McDonalds or something like that, I always seem to be drawn to places like book stores, music stores or some clothing stores and it was 4 years until I finally had a paid job at 26 in a retail book store where I work now.

I seem to think it that 26 is ''quite late'' to have your first paid job when I feel I should by that time be at the ''peak'' of working and that I ''should'' have started at maybe 18 or 21. I seem to think I was at my working peak in the late 20s and now in the early 30s but I still am a part timer.


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Joined: 1 Jan 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 477

10 Mar 2023, 4:00 pm

The trouble is, you can't just change who you are so instead, you choose to stay in your own bubble which is routine comfort, if you can call it that, for most others, they won't see it, but deep down you know that so,..why change it? to suit others? no, you are doing the only things you can do to keep a modest head above water or shoulders.
You must be finely attuned and sensitive to others comings and goings, and like to be around them otherwise, retail would be a no go for you, we'll least it is for me on a public level.
Ive forced myself in the past to follow on my love of things and brave a few places, the pandemic did put me off, as did most people but I still steer clear of queues and crowds and try and use self service more, even though they frustrate me when they make errors when you try and buy stuff.
I have various few conditions, but a few vacancies opened at the tail end of the corona, which i seized and took on.
A contract is a contract, which I'm familiar with, but even now, I'm at odds with myself over what I've picked, and that's during a rather long trial period.
I could give any notice during this time, but I'd have to have some pretty good reasons as I am on universal, but in a work related group. I just chose to want to get out and do something for society. I just don't like this layer of it where I am, as they have totally alien ideas about how to show respect and acknowledge communication for which I'm fine with on a one to one, but can't speak above the louder male office types.
Also, I rely on public transport to go to and fro, and it's currently being capped right now, but still don't think or am not happy about staying there, there is no nice approach, I have a manual job in a sales type customer environment, indirectly involved and very very little communication, and there was already an ill vibe in there already, with two faced liars, who are insensitive and think everyone else are the problem there, I feel. This becomes a problem when you become privy to all the vibes, they themselves take for granted.
So, in short, you should just try and take more time for yourself if you are directly involved, in order to separate the facts from the fiction. Which, im struggling with and at loggerheads with right now, but would be more positive if it wasn't such a competitive environment, im a few good years older than the sales staff in there and feel like the loner I currently am whilst I work in there.

Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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Joined: 20 Feb 2022
Gender: Female
Posts: 61
Location: Ireland

17 Mar 2023, 12:47 pm

Well it would have been better to start earlier not gonna lie but also it's better late than never.

I'm in the same boat, but none of us can change the past.

You have a start and you can probably start moving up or taking on more hours once you feel ready. Plus it's easier to find another job when you already have one if you tire of this one. Also I think even having a place to go that isn't home and earning your own money is good for mental health overall (as long as you aren't hating the work of course)