New job anxiety and uncertainties-advice and encouragement

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Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 136
Location: Dubuque, IA

20 Nov 2023, 6:12 pm

After I was forced to choose between an hour commute or move and filing for unemployment like everyone else left at my worksite, I was unemployed for four months, and ended up starting a job at a new company with the first paycheck coming just as the unemployment runs out. So I'm getting income again, but the onboarding has been grueling since I've struggled to keep up with parallel tracks of learning about the field, the software (usually the easiest part for me), and the co-workers/rules all while fielding requirements. It's the first time I've ever had a work email (hence some real multitasking element between the immediate and long-term goals with all the executive function challenges therein) or a caseload that isn't just whatever calls I get during the day, as I never really sought promotions much and only seriously searched for other jobs my last year at the old one I had for ten years (I'm now 34, and since I'll make close to the 34K gross I made at the old job still, I feel a bit behind in life because of it though there might be promotion room if it's stuff I can stand doing).

I'll be doing occasional calls out but mostly filing statuses work-from-home and in office Wednesdays for absence claims, and for now the client seems pretty straightforward. Benefits and leave are decent, and weekends are off, but I feel a little leery of the social effects of the 11-7 shift with half hour lunch (basically eating bread slices and peanut butter since I lack the spoons to do more and go to the bathroom) and brunch hour earlier dinner late; I'll benefit from morning exercise I think which could offset it, as well as not dealing with the 8:00 crunch I'm forced into for training. Training has been mostly on camera (though they have let us do backgrounds and even avatars Friday), so my dyspraxia/hypotonia has made it difficult sitting up straight to "perform" as normal and I feel like I have a hard time "looking smart," so I fear the reputation as "slow," but people have been nice and informative, especially as tech issues have come up that have squeezed me on required work onboarding. I get a 4.5-day break starting Wednesday afternoon so that at least will give me some time to wrap my arms around things.

I guess I'm just looking for encouragement, as I think the general-to-specific order of the training where not everything applies is confusing my linear thinking and I might be better off once I can specialize, especially with a decent deal on healthcare for the New Year after the last few months of this one looked pricy. But advice would also help. I can't imagine how this would have been had I had to switch jobs and give notices instead of picking up after some time unemployed, and I was declined or ghosted by some opportunities I thought would be more engaging. Overall, though, I'm cautiously optimistic but sometimes feel like I'm underestimating difficulties or losing my bearings on how to have a full life, whether I can afford to, and what to do with my time and energy. I haven't disclosed yet and am not sure how people will react, and I hear others haven't always had the best time getting it through, but I'm still not sure I have the education yet or can handle getting it that soon to become someone with a perkier 40K+ job (American dollars). My own skepticism about unfettered capitalism doesn't help me feel sanguine either, not starting an argument just the source of some of my concerns.