How do Aspies make it very far since we suck at networking?

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rainbowbutterfly
Toucan
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30 Aug 2016, 1:00 pm

If you don't know anyone for networking then volunteering is a good place to start building connections and gaining more experience on your resume.
Also, people use LinkedIn to network their way into jobs. I'm not completely sure about the process, but I think they follow companies and directly contact the hiring managers.



AngryAngryAngry
Velociraptor
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03 Sep 2016, 2:16 am

I'll just quickly reply to this:

ResilientBrilliance wrote:
Yup since I don't have any experience, I can't get a job unless someone is willing to give me a job without experience. And they'd only do that if they knew me or we had a mutual friend aka networking. I wish I had known how crucial experience was in college. Employers won't even consider me if I don't have experience. I know this because I have called up and asked and they said I need "x amount of experience." I didn't get much job experience in college due to my social anxiety. So, personally, I do have a lot of disadvantages preventing me from getting work. I'd still say that networking is the number 1 reason.


Many normal people face this Catch 22 also. Try to work for free, once they see how good you are (productive) they might even offer you a job! If you don't like them, make sure you get a glowing written reference. That might involve being a little deceptive, but if you don't they may only give you a letter that stated the period you worked for them. And telephone references are difficult if the company changes management/owner, or your reference person has left, or doesn't even remember you.
By deceptive I mean, if they offer you employment; state that you'd like to see the kind of reference letter they'd give you first. And that you'll need to test the employment sector to gauge the wage rates (I'm not sure if you'd tell them about your Aspergers, but you could put it down to that, even if that is true).
Hope that is clear - on a bit of a writing buzz.
I've been through this. Employer always talking me up saying how good I was, then doesn't give me pay rise of 50cents, and reference letter was "My name worked from y date to x date", felt as if they were trying to ruin my chances of even getting another job - ended up quitting out of sheer loathing of their practices.

Right, on topic.

Okay, first stop caring. You will either be good at this or not.
This will be the way to find out.
Fake confidence until you have it. Most confident people, simply do not care what others think of them.
Take for example stand up comedians. They have had ALL their jokes bomb, on stage in front of a crowd of real people. No laughs, all their jokes sucked.
In life it is the same, but you only tell one joke at a time. If no one laughs, that's okay. Bad joke, you learned, move on. Try a different joke next time. That is confidence. The ability to not care "not give a F**k!" as they say.

Next, get confident with practice. Write what you could say, a virtual conversation. If you have trouble, test it with other's here on the forum. Practice on the phone with a friend. Or just a phone that is off.
Do it regularly. It is study, same as university.

The call back is insignificant - however it is Very Important. It lets them know you are there, you are interested in them or the job. It's a very subtle tactic, you are trying to keep yourself in their mind.
When they think about who to pick for the job and they have a stack of CV's in front of them all perfect candidates, you will jump into their mind if you called up (they might say "that name's familiar" - you want to be familiar, already in their group so to speak).
Here's how it will go "Oh, that guy called back, none of the others did, he's very keen. He was a little nervous, but he is fresh out of uni, lets give him a shot." Or they are looking to buy a bulk shipment of electronics, instead of searching through their vast contact list, you jump to the forefront of their mind. "Hey he called, seems like an on to it person, his number is in my phone still, easy I'll just call him back."

It's also about keeping in touch, perhaps you were not selected for the job, but were their second choice. And their first choice is not working out. Call up every 3-6months to find out how business is, let them know that you are still looking for work and they are your first choice (that is a complement to them). Their business might be doing well and they're considering hiring more staff. They may think you are enthusiastic and not even bother with a whole round of interviewing (it costs them time & money).

Emails are good. But getting good and simply saying hi, and introducing yourself, maybe chatting about a current event in the newspaper or your field of skill.
It can be that simple. You can get out quick by making an excuse (it doesn't have to be a lie, if you don't like to) "I've got to run, I've an appointment to get to." [which could simply be a deadline time that you set to 'network' with the next person.
Treat it like a game.
This can become an interest of yours - see how good you can get at it.

Work on each part:
1) Introducing yourself
2) Strong handshake, smile.
3) eye contact (little at first, then ease off).
4) Always researching some news topic each day/week to "small talk about"
If its a topic that is running through a week or month then you can carry on the same conversation with that person the next time you meet them.
5) Occasional small complements "you're looking well, business must be good?" - people like others to think they look good/well, even if they don't feel that way (or especially if they don't feel that way).
6)Excusing yourself, getting out of the conversation

If you struggle with one of these, but are great at others, that's GREAT, get good at the others. People all have their weak points, if you're 100% good at the rest, people will overlook the 10% one.

I stuggle at keeping things light (fickle) and I come across as too friendly, get in, chat about a light topic or just briefly touch on a serious topic if it is relevant to the person/industry, then get out quick. "Well I've go to rush, it was great to catch up."

Sometimes networking will involve other activities too, longer social situations.
Drinks (alcohol), get out early before everyone gets drunk.
Lunch
Sports/outdoor get togethers - all the financiers go to golf (it doesn't mean you have to enjoy it or even be very good at it, sometimes that's the joke, "you know my strength is finance, right?"
Trade meetings, comferences, shows, you could attend these and watch others network to learn tips, pay close attention to sales people. Though some will be better than others, blue collar sales people often have very good networking skills, drop in to a busy Plumbing or Electrical Wholesalers to browse. Often they are quite extroverted, but you can simply take notes on what they say, outgoing personalities are not always essential.
Much networking is done over social media and Linkedin thesedays.

Another good way, is to observe business people in a city cafe. They network over lunch.

Sorry if this was a necrobump :oops:
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Desurage
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08 Sep 2016, 8:01 pm

Networking seems social but I figured out rather quickly that its not. Its mostly about contacting people you're interested in and talking about what you can do for them and acting like ned flanders. It puts people at ease, they think you're safe. I got a job because I asked for it, I was talking to the right person at the right time and had a car so that was enough. If you end communications or don't even know what to ask then start there.