Telling manager I have AS

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I think it depends on the type of organisation you work for.

If at my old workplace I'd have said anything (not that I knew about AS back then, but suppose that I had known at that time), I doubtless would have been called to countless meetings with my manager, my manager's manager, my manager's manager's manager and so on to discuss my 'disability' They would have talked about equality, talked about making me feel comfortable and altering my job so that I could fit in and work better, but in reality it would have just been an intimidating bureaucratic nightmare, aimed at making sure they'd covered their backs when it finally came to forcing me to resign (which is pretty much what happened).

I'd made a decision never to tell any employer.

This all came unravelled for me last week, when I upset my new manager by talking to her in an 'abrupt and oppositional' manner, questioning her about a task she had given me. I was very apologetic and upset that I had done this, as it was not my intention. And then she guessed about my AS! Turns out she studied neuroscience at university She said to me that she didn't see it as a problem in any way, there was nothing wrong with being a bit different.

Despite her reassurances, I went home in a right state that evening. I was quite upset and worried, knowing that she wanted to have a meeting with me to discuss working and communication methods. The other thing that was bothering me was that I hadn't told the person who had hired me, someone I've been friends with for some time. I was worried that she would hear about this from my manager, rather than from me, her friend. I was worried that it could be the end of my job, if she thought that I had deliberately not mentioned my AS to her.

Fortunately, my anxiety proved to be for nothing. I e-mailed my friend/boss to confess, and got a reply which put my mind at ease. I had a meeting with my manager, and agreed some basic working practises which would make my life easier. There has been a great improvement in my working relationship with my manager since this - because she knows the score, she's doing her best not to be vague, and if I start asking questions or show signs of anxiety, she clarifies or rephrases so that I understand, and has been giving clearer instructions to help me prioritise my workload.

I think the main difference in attitude between this current workplace and my previous, is that the previous employer was a huge bureaucratic organisation, whereas my current one is very small and prides itself on innovation and creative thinking.

Cindy said:

...and jmatucd said:


Ahh yes, but 700 translating to "too" also reflects the fact that many people when speaking in 1337 like to intentionally misspell! Ever notice how every other sentence has "the" spelled "t3h," "teh," "73h," etc.?

yeah, but I grew out of that phase years ago

I recently was in something of an "emergency" situation at work (basically, my socialization and communication deficits were attracting unwelcome and odd attention, as well as a change in job description) so I ended up explaining to one of my bosses that I had a "neurological condition" that was rather like a learning disability affecting social awareness and ability, as well as sensory oversensitivity and difficulty with multitasking, etc. I have a "verbal" DX but nothing on paper yet so I did not specifically mention AS, but I am glad I mentioned something because my boss did express some greater degree of understanding afterward. He has slowed down in his giving of instructions (because I need to write everything down) and has made it so that my job has less emphasis on "establishing relationships". Perhaps I am lucky, but in general I think it should be OK for employees to discuss both their strengths and weaknesses with their employers.

OMG, this terrifies me. I've already mentioned AS to the boss I have now, and she pooh-poohed it because she associated with some young girl she read about that wanted to do one thing all the time. But if I ever get a boss that knows about AS I know they will think I have it and "diagnose" me with it no matter what doctors say.

I recently shared with my lead and his boss that I have (or think I have) AS.

I interupt meetings, take over things, am clueless to what is appropriate. been that way my whole life. Among other things of course! (like when hot women tell me they like me and then me running away! duh. really. that was high school and college haha)

Thankfully I am delightfully brainy and solve lots of problems early and catch things other don't so I have some good news on that side at work.

With my boss, it was today, and because he had had "some comments" that my behavior in meetings (which had been a topic for over 5 years and has improved overall) was recently very poor. I broke down and told him that, upon researching Autism (my wife and I are expecting any minute) for kids of older parents (yes, took a while!), I came across Asperger's. Realized it applied more than watching the hand flapping dude on Boston Legal would imply.

Upon reading the description, taking the online tests, etc. was pretty apparent to me it applied.

I both took a deep breath, and had sigh of relief (try both at once! almost exploded haha), as there is good news AND bad news.. so, I am f****d up, but also have much company!

been a loudmouth for my whole life, talking too much, innappropriately, not popular.. but being smart, (but without methodical plan) I did pick up a few things.

But I have been here 6 years, had high technical reviews with improving stupidity in meetings, and both lead and boss had been supportive in past.

Harder to keep handle on things for me as I have to think about things NT folks just know!

My wife had seizure due to pregnancy Jan1, plus waiting for baby and worrying worrying so, much stress.. so lose observational fortitude, and slip back learning curve. she is ok now, meds got too low due to high blood volume. Baby ok, just waiting for birth!

T