all that "finding your best career match" stuff

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Does anyone else find that those don't really seem to work? Since I first read the "What Color Is Your Parachute?" book in 1986, I've found that all of those books/online quizzes/college-administered tests fail to take into account a lot of things that people on the spectrum may struggle with. I know there is no such thing as a perfect job or career, but it would be nice to find just one occupation out there that doesn't include something that eventually ends up being a deal-breaker.

So many times I've thought, "Yes! This is it! This is a career choice that will fit me!" I then completely excel in some areas of the job (usually in the aspects that spring to mind the most when one mentions a given career). Later on, however there are other facets of the job that pop up in which I am not only utterly incompetent, but I am also unable to improve upon no matter how hard I try.

I work hard to find out as much about each potential career as I can. I do all the background stuff such as job shadowing, reading about the career online, talking to people in the profession, etc. I ask tons of questions, including the "negative" ones such as "If there were one thing you could change about your job, what would it be?"

I am extremely good at rote memorization, paying attention to detail, working unsupervised, sorting things, performing repetitive tasks for long periods of time, following clear instructions and lists, being honest, and keeping my promises. I am extremely bad at multi-tasking, transferring an idea/behavior from one set of circumstances to another, working in a group or in a busy environment, working while a boss is hovering over me, deciphering shades of gray, following unclear directions, and following a series of more than three or four spoken directions without writing them down. There are not really many things that I am just "so-so" at. (Is this a consequence of having an "uneven skill set"?)

I believe that all those "career finder" sites, tests, and books are too simplistic and do not take these kinds of variables into account. Has anyone found one that is a reasonably realistic indicator of career/job suitability for people like me?

(No rush on this--I am going to be spending the next several months licking my wounds from my last attempt and getting some self-confidence back.)

Well, those tests in high school said that I should be either an accountant, or forest ranger! That's diversity for you. OK, I like the outdoors stuff, but I never wanted it for a career. And accounting!! ! No thank you, not my cup of tea. It's too easy. In short, I don't believe in those tests much. Oh, I ended up having a 37 year career as an engineer.

Perhaps you ought to consider Joseph Campbell's advice. He told his students simply, "Follow your bliss", and the rest will take care of itself. In my experience he was absolutely correct. Ignore the tests and other people's opinions and ask yourself what is MY passion, what excites ME the most (besides sex ), what do I love to do, or would love to do the most? Take that run with it. Once you have a general direction in mind, that's the time to solicit other's inputs (e.g. here on WP) on the details of how to make it happen.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

I have taken a few tests and usually come up with the same thing. One was in a book my son's grandmother had and she was at the time a VP in Human Relations. It always says I should be a writer,painter,teacher,journalist or counselor. These are all things I might be able to do well in except for the social communication skills needed, particularly in areas that would require me to market myself. I am also easily discouraged.

At the college I went to they had a test on a computer. I took it and it gave me a result. I took it a month later and it gave me the completely OPPOSITE result! What would I work best with, or something like that. Complete bs. Those stupid tests are useless.

My worst experience with an aptitude test was freshman year of HS. They had us take a test that said what type of after-HS education we were suited for. No pressure. WRONG. The result of that test determined what track a student was placed in at the school. I got placed in the "four year public university" track. So I took two years of foreign language, two years of PE, Academic English, and so on, all geared towards getting me into CSU (California State University system).

But in the end I didn't have the necessary GPA to attend CSU. I only had a 2.5 and back then you had to have a 3.0. Plus I had dyscalculia so I ended HS without the math requirements to attend CSU. I ended up going to community college, which I graduated from, but that's as far as I went. It's just as well, since a lot of graduates of CSU are now unemployed, their careers having evaporated with the American economy.

By their very nature, these are things which cannot be done perfectly. Do you think you might be trying to 'left-brain' tasks and activities which by their very nature are 'right-brain'?

And, as far as uneven skill sets, I tend to have patchy social skills, very good and present and alert in some areas, and apparently unaware in others (and it's like anything, it's hard to be aware of what you're not aware of !) I am working on developing a solid B game. For example, I like the concept that a mature, experienced baseball pitcher is one who is able to win even when he doesn't have his best stuff. I also like the theory of the 'good enough leader' in politics. Both of these give me permission to be nonperfect. Just myself.

That is a distinct possibility. I know that I am an extremely left-brained person.



That is an interesting concept. I seem to have either an A game or an F game (which most definitely do not average out to a C game in real life!). I have also heard of an idea about spending one's time making one's strengths even stronger as opposed to trying to fix weaknesses. I have no idea how valid that viewpoint might be.

Yep, that proves my point. These books and tests and stuff seem to make an awful lot of assumptions about people.



That sounds like the plan I have been considering all this week. One thing I have also recently learned: "Follow your bliss" means exactly that. It does not mean "follow people who insist on taking your bliss and distorting it until it can be crammed into one of their neat little boxes." Then it becomes something other than your bliss. Two years, $16,000, a ton of frustration, and a partial bachelor's degree later, I finally figured that one out.

Thank you so much for the advice and well-wishes. They mean a lot.

Can I do both? That's what I often ask. And I have heard this, too. And with the example of baseball player Ted Williams. He was already good at hitting and he put in the steady work of becoming better.

I like the idea of medium step, feedback, another medium step, etc, etc. And maybe to some people this is obvious. Not necessarily in me.

I have also studied Zen (in a half-assed way, I mean, how else is a person to study Zen!) and like the idea of accepting the world in all its messiness and unpredictability.

Apparently, I should be a lawyer. Which is funny because I hate lawyers, courtrooms, and arguing. I'm awesome with contracts, though.

Dog groomer seems like it'd be a better match for me.

Those tests are just intended to help people focus on what might be good jobs for them based on likes and dislikes.

There's really no telling what will fire your passions.

More so, most every job has a given amount of suckage. If your job is less than 50% suck, that's about all some can hope for.

Very, very few get careers they love all the time. Dream jobs are the exception, not the rule.

I've had a lot of people tell me that over the years. However, as I wrote in my OP: "I know there is no such thing as a perfect job or career, but it would be nice to find just one occupation out there that doesn't include something that eventually ends up being a deal-breaker."

I agree with your comments about suckage in jobs. Unfortunately, suckage in a job is one thing, and suckage by me at being able to adequately perform certain tasks that are vital to keeping a given job is another.

I generally get accounting, engineering, mathemacian and other "brainy" careers. I've chosen accounting, since money is probably my favorite topic.

Hi riverspark

I also have difficulty finding and keeping on at a particular occupation.
I know that there will be areas in which I am incompetent, so I tend to aim low in my choice of occupation, hoping to avoid these areas for as long as possible.
Unfortunately this has resulted in dissatisfaction: I have not pursued my interests, or what I am good at, for fear of faliure... but the faliure comes sooner or later, when the facets "pop up", as you say.
So I too have been seeking a way out of this paradox.

Recently I have discovered that mechanical engineering suits me rather well.

What I notice about this field is that:

1. many of the people in this field appear "normal" to me (by which, I mean that they are similar to myself... left-brained, uptight). This implies that I appear normal to them, which contributes to success.

2. the occupation is heavily task-oriented, rather than personally-oriented.

3. I find the notion of "tolerances" a useful metaphor: measurements are acceptable within specified tolerances (e.g. +/- .25mm). It is recognised that a perfect measurement is very difficult to achieve, given errors in equipment and measurement devices. I can transfer this idea into interpersonal skills: my aim is to succeed *well enough* (ie. within tolerance range). To do this I need to identify the specific needs of other people, and break it down into *very* small pieces that I can understand.

For example, if I say "yes" more frequently than "no" in conversation, this helps create a positive feeling in the other person, which in turn enhances the relationship between us.

Another example: during group work times, I set a ten-minute timer on my watch. When it sounds, I make an effort to smile and make personal contact with the other workers.

Also, I make sure that I understand the performance targets and expectations of my superiors. This can be broken down into smaller, achievable parts. Superiors tend to respond well to clarification of expectations, as it addresses their needs for authority and to share their expertise.

Basically I am using my strengths (logic and connected thought), to improve my weak areas.

I do not try to improve all my weak areas simultaneously, and it does take time to form new habits, but I find that I do have success with this method.

Wow, manBrain, those are some really good ideas! Thanks for sharing your ways of seeing things. The way you put them makes a lot of sense to me.

glad to be of assistance, riverspark.

I would be interested to know what the "certain tasks that are vital to keeping a given job" are, for you.

Welllll...from my OP, the list of things I'm extremely bad at:



Add to those:

*I am actually getting worse instead of better at tuning out radios/TVs/etc. (and I was never very good at it to begin with). Seems like nearly all workplaces (and all public places, period) absolutely must have the constant background music/chatter; most people can't seem to function without it. I am increasingly unable to function *with* it.

*Kids. Especially little ones. I would be a very good naturalist/environmental educator if it weren't for the fact that much of the duties involve dealing with children. Even when doing public programs, I would not be able to complete the presentation if there were a crying baby or screaming toddler in the audience. Even a laughing baby or toddler would have the same effect. It's not just a matter of my disliking "little-kid noises"; it's a sensory issue that feels almost exactly like nails being dragged down a chalkboard.

*Another auditory issue: I have that infamous "disconnect" between ears and brain, which causes me to mis-hear instructions, make social blunders, and drive everyone nuts by asking them to repeat themselves multiple times (and my hearing always tests out fine--if anything, it's sharper than most people's). My processing speed is excruciatingly slow.

*Exhaustion. I can only keep up the NT facade for a few hours and then I am just wiped out. Assuming I can make it though the day without "losing it," when I get home I need to go lay down for at least 2-3 hours.

I have read several excellent books dealing with AS and employment, but I find the same difficulty with them as I do with your otherwise-great suggestion of breaking things into small pieces: No matter how much I practice coping mechanisms, once I'm in a real-life situation things move way too fast for me to put the suggestions into place.

Maybe I need to stop focusing on the search for a specific job or profession, and instead focus on finding an employer and co-workers that are as good a fit for me (and I for them) as possible?