office picnic

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Joined: 14 Apr 2011
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13 Mar 2012, 3:14 pm

there is a overnight office picnic coming up this weekend
i usually dont socialise much with the office people and i dont have group or friends
but one colleague asked me to accompany her
i am confused since people at workplace find me misfit and socially distant.
also i dont know what to do at social places

should i go or decline??????

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Tequila
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13 Mar 2012, 3:15 pm

Is there anyone you know there who might be able to "bring you out" a bit more and get you to talk?

namaste
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13 Mar 2012, 3:22 pm

Tequila wrote:

Is there anyone you know there who might be able to "bring you out" a bit more and get you to talk?

i wasnt going but this one colleague i mentioned if she gives me company then it maybe OK.
but still i dont want to end up loosing my job by doing some social mistake which i usually do

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Tequila
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13 Mar 2012, 3:38 pm

namaste wrote:

but still i dont want to end up loosing my job by doing some social mistake which i usually do

If it's not too painful, can you relate some of your social mistakes (if you haven't already mentioned some of them before)? If you'd like, either put it on Members Only or PM me.

namaste
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14 Mar 2012, 12:59 am

Tequila wrote:

namaste wrote:

but still i dont want to end up loosing my job by doing some social mistake which i usually do

If it's not too painful, can you relate some of your social mistakes (if you haven't already mentioned some of them before)? If you'd like, either put it on Members Only or PM me.

its not basically social mistake its that i am very quite, withdrawn, shy
i am a social misfit and as if i am not meant to be there

people usually dont talk with me and i am the invisible one

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nat4200
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14 Mar 2012, 1:18 am

Redacted

Last edited by nat4200 on 21 Apr 2012, 1:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

namaste
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14 Mar 2012, 1:24 am

nat4200 wrote:

Do you have to stay overnight or could you leave after an hour or two if your not having a reasonable time?

Does it sound like it will involve colleagues drinking alcohol? If so, are you comfortable drinking* OR not drinking* in such a situation (*pick which ever is more comfortable to you/least likely to get you in trouble if that is a reasonable possibility if you drink).

If you do have the option to leave early and stuff like colleagues drinking won't be an issue then it sounds like it might be good for you to go. Just making the effort to attend such functions, even if you don't socialise much when your there, might make others see you in a different light; and it's good practice (I think).

ya you are right if i get bored i might just catch a train and return back home sounds good enough.

its a overnight stay there wont be drinking because we are bunch of ladies teachers and here in india ladies never drink.
except this young college going girls

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alessi
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14 Mar 2012, 10:18 pm

If you don't feel comfortable, give them an excuse to get out of going.
An overnight stay in a strange place could be very stressful. It certainly would be stressful for me, if I were in such a situation.

namaste
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15 Mar 2012, 2:19 am

alessi wrote:

i have been ostracized earlier when attending social do's and overnight stays so i can understand well what you are saying
also i am not social amongst my office staff so i would be lying ignored anyway :wink:

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alessi
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16 Mar 2012, 8:29 pm

So what did you decide in the end Namaste?

kg4fxg
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16 Mar 2012, 8:39 pm

Here in the US we have a seminar to attend at a retreat over night. Basically motel rooms and have to share with the same sex. It is not bad, not too much social, mostly lectures. I don't mind but I would it is was all unstructured and social. Play it by ear and have an out. Make a plan, bring something, a book. You could mysteriously get sick and feel ill and have to leave. Think of options.

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18 Mar 2012, 1:40 am

Well friends this is a breakthrough after years of hiding socially finally i decided to give it a shot
I went to attend the picnic for one day and come back in the evening.

One of my colleague had invited me since she was bringing her son and wanted her son to have company with my son..
so i took along my son. Everything was going fine my son was playing with this colleagues son

Morning we visited some NGO centres in remote area, interacted with the students
had lunch after that there was group gathering, games, bonfire etc (those were tough for me) i was hiding behind
and did not participate

many of them were dancing at the bonfire, singing and having fun.

By night i decided to leave but the manager and some colleagues were insisting for me to stay back

But i feel shy staying back at some place overnight and it got overwhelming so i left with 2-3 other colleagues who had decided to leave too.

The experience was fun, learning experience i learned quite a lot about social interaction, i overheard conversations where people were talking about other colleagues how to behave, how to interact and it gave me brief idea about social behaviour

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alessi
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18 Mar 2012, 2:34 am

Namaste, that is really great to hear that you went and that it was ok.
It is good that you got to go home at night and that you weren't the only one to leave.
Those sort of situations are a bit overwhelming for me too.

Good for you

Cheers

Alessi

namaste
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18 Mar 2012, 4:49 am

alessi wrote:

Cheers

Alessi

ya this time it was Ok and i didnt end up making a fool out of myself
usually the trouble is when i have interact with elderly people at wedding,
family function they keep asking personal questions and i end up
feeling stupid

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