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Kvornan
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25 Mar 2012, 12:12 am

How come whenever I head discussions siding with "real jobs" make me cringe every-time I hear it? As if I was allergic to 9-5 jobs.

Yes, I know those who grew up in the 50s-80s will be told to 'get a real job', and that quote isn't exactly dying down anytime soon. There will always be a need for cubicle dwellers. Are there some people out there who just aren't born to work in cubicles or offices?



VIDEODROME
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25 Mar 2012, 12:15 am

I've never had a real job. I've worked crazy night shifts and I've driven trucks over the road.

I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I got a normal 9 to 5 job now.



Kvornan
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25 Mar 2012, 12:45 am

VIDEODROME wrote:
I've never had a real job. I've worked crazy night shifts and I've driven trucks over the road.

I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I got a normal 9 to 5 job now.
You mean, you get to explore life & stuff more doing all of that?!



Catarina
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25 Mar 2012, 1:59 am

In your imagination are the "cubicle dwellers" just like the seven dwarves, whistling while they work and happy to be there? Quite frankly most people working at such jobs are doing so because they have unavoidable obligations. It is something they are forced to do. If one is smart, then they try to make the best of it and look for the good in their job because it make life more bearable.

Are you 100% self-supporting? If so, that is great and a major accomplishment. A lot of people on the spectrum, including myself, find it difficult meeting the pressures of full-time work. Sadly, this creates another whole set of problems since most adults expect other adults to pull their own weight. Maybe people who have hoped you would get a real job (whatever that it) hope that one day you can be self-supporting and be able to have a bit of stability.

There are thousands of jobs that do not occur in cubicles. From farming to construction to bus driver.



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25 Mar 2012, 8:20 am

As a musician, I have the strangest hours. If you aren't attached to a university and struggle with authority and parents telling you how to do your job, your best bet is to go into business for yourself as a private instructor. As a former band teacher, I'm not limited to piano lessons even though that's where most of my business is. I teach violin, and true violinists get offended by the idea of someone not among their rank and file taking students. What has come of that is other violinists in the area have stepped up and started taking students. While the competition does cut into my bottom line a little, I get the satisfaction of knowing that I caused a positive change in the community

The students come in at specific time intervals, so I don't get to pick more convenient times throughout the school day. The result is I work 30 min, wait 30, work, wait 2 hours, work 1 hour, go home. And no 2 days are the same schedule. So rather than just sit at the school all day with nothing to do, I go over to the church (where I am also on staff) and compose or arrange music for solo handbells, record backing tracks for arrangements, program synthesizers, or just practice piano.

I also teach on a local college campus in the evenings. I work with my son on his own piano lessons for an hour every night when I can. I have choir rehearsal once a week, Bible study once a week, band rehearsal one night a week up to 3 hours, and every now and then I might have a band gig on the weekend that can take up to 6 hours when you include setup and breakdown. Even if I'm up to 4 a.m. on Sunday morning and my hands and wrists hurt, I still have to be at church before 9:30 for sound check.

And I'm not complaining. I'd like it better if I was making the kind of money I feel I deserve by this point, of course. But I'd be utterly miserable if I had the sort of cubicle job others have and no freedom at all to pursue my interests. There is more to life than making money. We have just adequate enough a lifestyle that we can afford daycare and send our two oldest kids to the more expensive Catholic school instead of the less expensive but utterly drab academy the local high-society crowd uses. We may be poor in terms of finances, but we've adapted to living without a lot of the extravagance people around here are used to and honestly have fewer things to complain about. I make a bigger contribution to the local community than any of those guys with their names on a wall somewhere or who have buildings named after them. I couldn't say that if I were just another 9-to-5er.

A "real job"? No, thanks. I have a "real life" that I enjoy much better. That's not to insult cubicle workers by any means. Some of them take piano lessons from me or send me their kids, or even hire me to play for fundraisers. But they are well-suited for what they do, whereas I'm not a "normal" person and would struggle trying to do the same things they do. We are all intricately linked and depend on each other for our livelihood. The real shame is how quick some are to insult those who don't fit the usual mold without recognizing their value.



EarlPurple
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28 Mar 2012, 7:33 am

I wish it would be "9 to 5" it always seems to be 40 working hours and assuming 9 to 5 includes an hour for lunch that is only 35.

Those extra 5 hours a week burn me out.

I do remember when I was driving a cab for a while someone once referred to a "real" job and I told them it is a real job, even though it wasn't the job I ideally wanted.



charles52
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28 Mar 2012, 8:44 am

Well, they say "every Aspie is different" - personally, I would prefer a 9 to 5 type job, partly because it would be a stable, regular event in my life, and partly because it would mean not having to focus on job-hunting, which is the thing I do worst. Of course, these days, a lot of 9 to 5 jobs expect a lot more than 40 hours from their employees, shifting schedules and all that. But, basically, my Aspie-ness would prefer a situation where I have a regular place to go at a regular time... I do find that "working at home" doesn't exactly work for me, either - too many distractions. Between 9 and 5 on any given day, I can usually get in five or six hours that I would consider countable if I was charging by the hour. So I would actually prefer to go in, sit in my cubicle, spend my 8 hours doing whatever is important to the company, and then going home.

I had a job interview earlier this week, and I said that my ideal job would be one where you show up in the morning and you had something worthwhile to work on; you went home in the evening with a sense that you had accomplished something of value, something that would be appreciated. And at the same time, money would appear regularly in my checking account so that I could pay the bills and the Mrs. would get off my case about how we're using up all the retirement money.

For the record, though, I _did_ grow up in the sixties (first "real" full time job in 1975), so that is kinda the model imprinted on my brain. In my case, I'm disappointed that life has changed so that even employers expect you to change jobs every few years, or at least to keep moving up in the company you work for. My Aspie-ness wishes you could still get a job, spend 30 or 40 years with them and then when you're worn out from doing that, you have a pension and some savings and the feeling that you can "do your own thing" for the rest of your days.

Hope that at least gives a sense of what the appeal of the cubicle lifestyle is for some of us...



Kvornan
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30 Mar 2012, 6:23 am

charles52 wrote:
Well, they say "every Aspie is different" - personally, I would prefer a 9 to 5 type job, partly because it would be a stable, regular event in my life, and partly because it would mean not having to focus on job-hunting, which is the thing I do worst. Of course, these days, a lot of 9 to 5 jobs expect a lot more than 40 hours from their employees, shifting schedules and all that. But, basically, my Aspie-ness would prefer a situation where I have a regular place to go at a regular time... I do find that "working at home" doesn't exactly work for me, either - too many distractions. Between 9 and 5 on any given day, I can usually get in five or six hours that I would consider countable if I was charging by the hour. So I would actually prefer to go in, sit in my cubicle, spend my 8 hours doing whatever is important to the company, and then going home.

I had a job interview earlier this week, and I said that my ideal job would be one where you show up in the morning and you had something worthwhile to work on; you went home in the evening with a sense that you had accomplished something of value, something that would be appreciated. And at the same time, money would appear regularly in my checking account so that I could pay the bills and the Mrs. would get off my case about how we're using up all the retirement money.

For the record, though, I _did_ grow up in the sixties (first "real" full time job in 1975), so that is kinda the model imprinted on my brain. In my case, I'm disappointed that life has changed so that even employers expect you to change jobs every few years, or at least to keep moving up in the company you work for. My Aspie-ness wishes you could still get a job, spend 30 or 40 years with them and then when you're worn out from doing that, you have a pension and some savings and the feeling that you can "do your own thing" for the rest of your days.

Hope that at least gives a sense of what the appeal of the cubicle lifestyle is for some of us...
I just want to live a happy life. When I saw employees come out of an office building to get lunch, or work in a cubicle, all I could think is "is there more than just that?".

I guess I'm a rare breed of aspergers. I'm still routine-oriented when it comes to daily things like washing my face and such, they have to be around the same time. But as far as working, I'm started to have doubt in myself whenever I should get a career in graphics design. A couple of times when I did work for others, I struggled to fully engage my creativity, and I worry that my artistic skills will go down the drain if I went ahead and got a job in that, no matter how fancy my portfolio is.

I don't want to live life and be un-happy.



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30 Mar 2012, 2:35 pm

Kvornan wrote:
How come whenever I head discussions siding with "real jobs" make me cringe every-time I hear it? As if I was allergic to 9-5 jobs.

Yes, I know those who grew up in the 50s-80s will be told to 'get a real job', and that quote isn't exactly dying down anytime soon. There will always be a need for cubicle dwellers. Are there some people out there who just aren't born to work in cubicles or offices?


I don't think I could keep my sanity at a full time job like that, so I can see what you mean.



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30 Mar 2012, 4:08 pm

I've never even had a full time job. The part time job I had was exhausting enough.



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31 Mar 2012, 12:45 pm

Kvornan wrote:
I don't want to live life and be un-happy.


Amen!

How do NTs cope with the rat race?? I just can't do it. I know that NTS say they hate it, but they like it really - I see them laughing ta work, some say they come to work for the company, and even those who hate it never consider cutting their standard of living in order to have less hours at what they hate. Either they like it, or their pathological need to be like their neighbors is a disability.

Am I just lazy? I work 16 hours a day at home, and never take holidays. (Sadly nobody yet recognizes the value in what I do so I have no money, but that is a different topic). But doing a soul destroying job that adds little or nothing to the world's happiness, and also makes me miserable? I just can't do that.


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Emoryocc98
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01 Apr 2012, 12:07 am

well ive never really had a full time job just helping at the animal shelter but otherwise im trying to start driving big rigs over the road



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04 Apr 2012, 6:01 am

trappedinhell wrote:
Kvornan wrote:
I don't want to live life and be un-happy.


Amen!

How do NTs cope with the rat race?? I just can't do it. I know that NTS say they hate it, but they like it really - I see them laughing ta work, some say they come to work for the company, and even those who hate it never consider cutting their standard of living in order to have less hours at what they hate. Either they like it, or their pathological need to be like their neighbors is a disability.

Am I just lazy? I work 16 hours a day at home, and never take holidays. (Sadly nobody yet recognizes the value in what I do so I have no money, but that is a different topic). But doing a soul destroying job that adds little or nothing to the world's happiness, and also makes me miserable? I just can't do that.


I wonder about this as well. Seems like everyone is doing well and can handle their job great.. It also seems like one is vilified if you don't talk, act, dress and work like everyone else in an organization. I always feel like no one likes me and how I am known as weird or 'quirky' as one supervisor said (which is veiled homophobic slur)

I have been taking Adderall for the last month or so. It has helped greatly but the tolerance builds up fast. I was prescribed 3 a day (10MG - 3 times a day).. Usually I take 4 or 5 on weekdays.



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04 Apr 2012, 6:26 am

Nick9075 wrote:
I always feel like no one likes me


I don't have that problem - I've been good at faking being friendly since I was a child (probably helps that I was raised a Mormon!) but the problem for me is that:

a) People come up and want to talk. They can't see my feet madly twitching and flexing as each agonizing second goes by.

b) Everything is social. They think they are making life better for me when they are making it worse. They dream of parties and assume that I do too. I dream of being locked into a library basement alone for a year to catalog Victorian reference books. They are very well meaning but we just don't live on the same planet.


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04 Apr 2012, 12:52 pm

Kvornan wrote:
charles52 wrote:
I just want to live a happy life. When I saw employees come out of an office building to get lunch, or work in a cubicle, all I could think is "is there more than just that?".

I guess I'm a rare breed of aspergers. I'm still routine-oriented when it comes to daily things like washing my face and such, they have to be around the same time. But as far as working, I'm started to have doubt in myself whenever I should get a career in graphics design. A couple of times when I did work for others, I struggled to fully engage my creativity, and I worry that my artistic skills will go down the drain if I went ahead and got a job in that, no matter how fancy my portfolio is.

I don't want to live life and be un-happy.


Well most people who do have a typical 9-5 job aren't necessarily unhappy. They may not particularly enjoy their job, but jobs pay the bills! Most people need a full-time job to support themselves, unless they work multiple part-time jobs or work in a highly lucrative job such as a doctor or professional athlete. I've always said that if work was completely enjoyable they wouldn't have to pay people to do it lol. Also there are plenty of so-called "real" jobs that don't involve working in a cubicle or office. Just a few off the top of my head that don't require too much education include forest ranger, plant operator, oil rig work, and construction. Also I'm not saying that jobs are inherently not enjoyable because most people actually do enjoy their work quite a lot...but even if you really love the work you do you may still not want to be there all the time lol.

As an aside, I personally feel that the standardization of the 8-5 40hr work week with 2 weeks vacation a year is really terrible. You just get so little free time, even when you aren't working work is on your mind. I personally like the setup they have in Europe where they get like 6 weeks of vacation time a year and work closer to 35 hours a week. Even with the 40-hr work week, it would be nice if companies allowed a bit more flexibility. For example, I think that it would be infinitely more enjoyable to be able to work 10hrs a day 4 days a week than 8hrs a day 5 days a week...that extra 1 day every week makes a HUGE difference since you actually have time to enjoy yourself, but that extra 2hrs at work isn't really terribly noticeable. I even saw a study recently that advocates that a standardized 21-hour work week would provide the most overall benefit to society as a whole...the study is debatable but wouldn't a 21-hr week be nice? lol



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04 Apr 2012, 9:00 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:
As an aside, I personally feel that the standardization of the 8-5 40hr work week with 2 weeks vacation a year is really terrible. You just get so little free time, even when you aren't working work is on your mind. I personally like the setup they have in Europe where they get like 6 weeks of vacation time a year and work closer to 35 hours a week. Even with the 40-hr work week, it would be nice if companies allowed a bit more flexibility. For example, I think that it would be infinitely more enjoyable to be able to work 10hrs a day 4 days a week than 8hrs a day 5 days a week...that extra 1 day every week makes a HUGE difference since you actually have time to enjoy yourself, but that extra 2hrs at work isn't really terribly noticeable. I even saw a study recently that advocates that a standardized 21-hour work week would provide the most overall benefit to society as a whole...the study is debatable but wouldn't a 21-hr week be nice? lol


I like this study.